It broke my heart the other night when he passed out and didn't come over, It breaks my heart that he is chosing this path for himself. But I can't do anything about it, I wonder how long this separation will last. he thinks the buddhists will fix him when really he has to fix himself. poor boy.

beautiful disaster

one more friend is getting married today, i'm missing it which makes me sad. Can't wait to see the pictures and see ashley up there on stage. I think this is a good match and its been a long time coming.

i'm trying to avoid going to the rest of hootenanny.

i'm really hot right now, must have been the wine.

she has still not figured it out. The fact that I'm not wanting to be her friend much if she talks shit about me all of the time. I found out that she is "really concerned for me because I'm not talking to anyone, I just go and sulk in my room" ha open your eyes I'm just not talking to you. But its nice to not have to be too concerned with her ( Read more... )

to see him go down this road to nothingness. With no real reason except not being able to say no. OR to think he's not funny anymore so he must drink. This is sad that he doesn't havee the confidence to be funny without when he is. IT just breaks my heart ( Read more... )

I don't think I can be her friend anymore. There are not many people in this world that I don't get along with, just a few. Few people that I decide to put effort into and decide to have them as my friend just don't work out. and she is someone that I don't trust in any shape or form and someone who is just selfish I suppose. More so than the ( Read more... )

i just can't seem to settle it, I'm not even sure what is bothering me in order to fix it. hmmm.

long day makes me wonder why I am here.

i don't know if I'll ever go to church again.

I get pleasure in his misfortune. the fact that he has no life actually makes me smile. That is evil, yet purely delicious. Makes me feel like I did the right thing and that he truly was and is going nowhere with his life. maybe when I'm 30 I will feel bad for him. probably not ( Read more... )

I'm back at the ranch and its raining, and I just woke up from a nap and I'm listnening to beautiful music and all I want to do is take pictures. i spent the week hanging out with someone who looked at the world the same way I used to. As one big picture and it was refreshing and inspiring and beautiful. I loved it. It was probably the best ( Read more... )

I'm home for a week. just got in a bit ago, met my brand new nephew who is adorable and then went to coffee with my brother. Alan hamilton was there and I avoided him and then he sat at a table real close to me in which I know he saw me. Jeremy was kind enough to realize I was uncomfortable and o we left. Didn't say one word to him, wouldn't ( Read more... )

i know that this has been a long time. my new friend monica found my page and read past entries and found it to not be lacking in the info department ( Read more... )