house-sitting and depressed. been in the dark place for weeks. I need anything to get me back on track again. need to stop hurting myself and hurting others. need to hold onto my friends. need to stop buying things on ebay.

February 8th, already? Where have I been this past month? And, oh shit, where am I going ( Read more... )

Every other night, every other week -- I forget the recurring patterns -- there are times where I sleep perfectly and am completely comfortable wtih myself. And then there are these nights, in which loneliness feels absolute and almost unfathomable. All the specifics are drowned. There is just a murmur of events and emotions. I believe something to ( Read more... )

People always talk about how they don't really feel any different on their birthday and that it's just like any other day ( Read more... )

appreciate getting asked out on a date tonight by a really attractive, sweet guy that you'd normally think is out of your league. well, just appreciate good things in general.

I just pinched my thigh and a nerve in my forearm stung. Bodies are odd. I'm so disconnected from what I can only imagine is myself. I constantly feel like I'm doing something wrong or putting people off, but my behavior seems to make basic sense to me until someone calls me out on it or reacts strongly to me. I'm having a hard time deciphering my ( Read more... )

I don't know.I don't know why I'm so unhappy. I'd love to say that it's breaking apart or my parents or having someone I care about turn their back on me or my direction, but I don't know. I'm so used to people leaving, why should I care? Everyone leaves me. I get used and I get left and that's all it ever is. I thought I was okay with that. And ( Read more... )

I've been hardly sleeping for the past week and a half and I'm tired. My life has consisted of cleaning and organizing and laziness and writing and eating and loneliness and moping around. I'm ridiculously tired. And now, I'm back in the living room at my house. And my skin hurts because the shower was too hot and I keep thinking about how I hate ( Read more... )

This week is about moving out and moving in ( Read more... )

Tonight I'm not going out and I will cry a lot because my cat died.
Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in.

Life's really not that good right now.
The only thing I have going for me is my new, highly attractive neighbor.
In fact, life is actually pretty horrendous. Sorry.