So right now, I'm drunk.  Not that good kind of happy drunk....that miserable I really wish I was by myself drunk.  That what's wrong with me I'm a loser drunk.  This night turned on me and I didn't see it coming.   I'm hurting so much inside...and I hate being this way.  I feel absolutely useless...I feel unwanted...I feel like no matter what I do ( Read more... )

On a lover's leap with a freeway view ( Read more... )

I got sleep last night for the first time in two weeks.  I was out cold and woke up this morning in a daze.  My first thoughts were that it must be 7ish  and could someone stop the insanity. It was 9:54.   This has left me overtly energetic today and I'm just now winding down a little over 12 hours later.  It makes me feel sad that it's over ( Read more... )

I'm fucking tired.  I haven't slept right in over a week...maybe 4 - 6 hours a night if I'm lucky, and that's with me taking my mask off....so no real sleep lately.  My neck and shoulders are killing me....so tensed up I can barely lift my right arm up without a shooting pain running through my shoulder.  The only good thing is the dreams have ( Read more... )

Another early morning passes my tired eyes ( Read more... )

A shot of sunlight broke through the crack in the curtains, drawing a slow line across the light blue carpeting as the sun rose in the east. As it progressed the blue of carpet was broken into blackness, and the light shined dully off the smudge of color ( Read more... )

Each day a lasting embrace into an eternity of myriad hues ( Read more... )

Yet wonders never cease, every time I see your smile dawn over the horizon I have to stop and watch. Each moment frozen in time as I take every second of your brilliance into my mind to be captured in a memory ( Read more... )

A light that opens my sleep ridden eyes to the morning, to the dew dripping off the vines on the trestle, to the flowers finding bloom in the sweet scent of the early morning air, to the wispy mist of breath from lips, your lips. This is not the sun's light that takes my breath away, but your radiance, your eyes lips nose, every feature of your ( Read more... )

May is just getting over and I'm still feeling a little bit lost.  I'm not so bad as I was with the last post, but I'm still no where where I need be.  It's part my fault as I have not done much to better myself except making sure my bills are paid and I can still go from place to place ( Read more... )