everything that i can't say and more

[nekokitsune]

i've been having a really nice time since moving back to california. it's funny, because i'm not really busy but i feel like i am, probably because i actually have a social life here. yes, me, social life

Comments

[the_raddy]

I'm gonna come right out and say it: I think this is a really bad idea. You might not feel overwhelmed now, but you'll probably wind up feeling that way later if he's already asserting that he's going to "cut if off" if he starts to like you too much. It's good that you're talking with him about this, but you should have done that BEFORE you slept with him. I really hope this doesn't piss you off, but I think you might have some self control issues when it comes to sex. You went from being monogamous to being poly in the blink of an eye, and now you're trying to decide if it's a good idea? Just because you can have sex with someone and want to, doesn't mean you should. I say this only because I'm now really concerned about you, since you're currently relying on Jason for financial support and so far have no real means of leaving if things go south.

[nekokitsune]

it doesn't piss me off, but it does hurt :/ but i'm trying to get past that and see if there is some truth to it at all

[the_raddy]

Gaah, I'm sorry, now I feel shitty for hurting your feelings. :(

i try not to stop myself from having an experience before it even starts.

I think that might be one of the biggest differences between you and me -- I tend to analyze the hell out of things and dismiss them before I have an opportunity to experience them, and it seems like you don't. On one hand, I have very little serious drama in my life because I'm so overly cautious. On the other hand, sometimes I realize that I have a huge stick up my ass as a result. :/

I'm not all that concerned with whether or not you are "really" poly, because that's difficult to define...I'm just really concerned that you have two sex partners at a time in your life where, if I were in your shoes, I would be trying my hardest to settle down and get control of things -- job, money, transportation. I don't think I would be able to handle the emotional impact of being involved with two people while all this is happening, so I have trouble understanding how someone else could. Does that make

[lilusako]

That sounds like the numerous guys that I've slept with. The ones who don't want emotional burdens. From those I learned to sort of separate emotions and personal body desires. To the point where I can now dissociate sexual desires versus emotional desires. That's what its beginning to sound like. Even with having a boyfriend, it seems like you are in a very 'open relationship' and maybe you should take time in exploring and figuring out what your boundaries are. you might also want to find out what your boy thinks, about what he might get upset over in you're involvement.

at the same time, to me I think being poly (to me) means being in more than one relationship at a time. but at the same time I look at your situation and it makes me think that you're in an open relationship, and Dan is a friend with benefits. but thats just what i'm thinking. i hope that my comments have helped in some way...

btw, Folsom!? i've never been. TRULY JEALOUS!

[nekokitsune]

they do help, in so far as they tell me that there is no absolute definition for situations like this. what our relationship is consists largely of how we ourselves see it. and regardless of whether it fits into any previously defined relationship type, there will always be people who disapprove.

i have done my best to keep my boy in the loop on these things, and he's definitely expressed his feelings and reactions to them too. i'm so glad i have him to help me keep true to myself and to remind me that i always have a choice.