jesus, its been so long. where to begin? i've gottne back with steven and we're already pretty pissed off at each other and i have julia to worry about now. unfortuantely my grandmother passes away last saturday. my mom's pretty sick, me and my dad well nothings changed. i duno. life sucks. i'm working a lot in school and at work so i'm kinda ( Read more... )

sometimes...things seem weird. sometimes i feel like i'm too big to fit in the world, like i've suddenly grown to be 8 ft talland much wider. and then sometimes i feel too small and weak. like i'm barely a foot tall and extremely thin. my hand hurts like hell, i had to scrubs base tiles yesterday for more than an hour. and then today. i just ( Read more... )

i don't know whtas wrong with me. in fact i'm sure theres nothing wrong. i don't have a crappy life, or at least i always tell myself it could be worse. i've come to accept the fact that there isn't an afterlife. but i dont freak out about it. i didn't exist before i was born. and i can't seem to rmemeber that so...death might not be so bad. well ( Read more... )

god lets see. its the 18 last time i was here my grandma was doing pretty badly. but now. she's still doing terrible. but we're trying to make the most of it. i;ve been feeling terrible a lot. and right now i'm okay. i actually laughed a lot today. and i'm thankful. my friends cheered me up in yearbook, and i was able to cheer up my mom and sister ( Read more... )

they want to take her away. They say that since her brain wasn't getting enough oxygen, that the alzhiemers deteriorated her brain a bit more. therefore leaving her with less of a memory than she already has. it sucks. i'm saddened. and i wanted to cry today a lot. but i wasn't allowed. my mom told me not to cry, in fact i haven't been crying this ( Read more... )

its been six/seven years since my grandmother was diagnosed with alzheimers. and since then my life has changed quite a bit. from reminding my grandmother about things every five minutes to telling her that her mother passed away many a year ago...ist quite troublesome. the good news is that she is going to beat pnuemonia. the bad thing is her ( Read more... )

its been a hard day, worse than yesterday. so i guess i should start there. well actually a few days back. i've found out that lily has been paying some of my parents bills, and because of that she's miserable, and evberyones miserable., so i'm looking for a job. not for any entertainment purposes, btu because my family needs the money. (fast ( Read more... )

life is unfair, that is a universal truth. and tomorrow, i hope all goes well at school, and in the morning cause i know tomorrows gonna suck when i get home, a preist is gonna give my grandma her final blessings, my aunt decided it was best while she could still hear and have somewhat conciousness. she's really losing it lately. and it feels like ( Read more... )

I've learned alot these past few days, one is that while time might not mater muchto me for the time bein, for some it's fading quickly. my grandma has once again, she reached another alzheimers level, she's now at a stage where she has her own language, and she shaes a o. i thought she was ahving a seizure yesterday and almost had a heart attack ( Read more... )

wel actually nothigns been going on since yesterday to today except that i forgot to mention that fred got me the x=men dvds(the series not the movies)andi'm eternally indebted to him. but moving on...I love Scrubs!!(thet.v. show) even though today's last one was kinda sad, i really loved it. I was like OMG!!! I love you J.D., its sad that i can ( Read more... )