WOT.

[neon_anthrax]

RIGHT YOU BEIGE PIG-DOGS.

I've been in Berlin for reasons you don't need to know about and would probably explode your head anyway. And I come back.... I come back to find... this THING. This plain, boring, smiling, kind, indie-loving ALIEN wearing dungarees and a fishing hat- God, I'm going to be sick....

Explanations. Now. I know where you all live

Comments

[not_a_preacher]

Hey, Neon. Welcome back. Alien? Umm.

Er, anyway, I just thought you might like to know that Jones pulled through and although he's still got some recovering to do, the main thing is that he's alive. He's due out of the hospital any day now. I'm sure he'd like to see you when you've sorted things out there. Drop by anytime, OK?

[neon_anthrax]

... Well that's good then, I suppose. For him, anyway: doubt he would have liked to have on his gravestone 'got caught by a fire because he was a giant div'.

I might swing by... Just to give him a punch for losing all our work on that melted Ipod contraption of his, though. But then again, I might not, yeah?

Plus, I might need to beat seven shades of shine out of this... 'Susan' imposter thing. We'll see how it collapses, don't hold your breath, writer.

[not_a_preacher]

That fire wasn't Jones fault, Neon. I have my suspicions as to who the culprit is and that particular scum-bastard is going to wish he'd never been born, once I catch up with him. I promise you that.

OK, so you've got your own shit to deal with right now. I was just passing on the good news. We'll see you soon.

[neon_anthrax]

Well, it must have been sort of his fault: he was the one who ended up with the singed eyelashes, eh?

Don't promise me anything, scruff, you'll only get yourself over-excited and disappoint.

I've not said I'm DEFINITELY coming, alright? Just... If I see you.

[well_bum]

Uh, you mean Susan, yeah? (The artist formally known as Ultra, I gather.)

How did you flash her? She's been hanging out with me all evening, bright-eyes.

[neon_anthrax]

And what are you, exactly? Did you do it to her? Did YOU put that fishing hat on her? You've got thirty seconds to explain the arse off yourself, boy-child.

And her name's NOT fucking 'Susan'.

[well_bum]

I don't kiss and tell, love. If Susan wants to tell the world, that's her business. I'm well gentleman.

I dislike the hat as much as you, big-hair.

Like I said: I know nothing, yeah?

[neon_anthrax]

If you've touched her with your cruddy, flaking lips, I'll slice them off with the rustiest earring I own, alright?

Give her back, before I come and take her. Say your goodbyes with as little physical contact as your pre-teen dick'll allow, yeah, and there'll be no blood.

You said it, alright. Having known of your puss-filled existence for all of thirty-seconds, I'll have to agree with you.

[ultra_ebola]

oh no oh no oh no how do you turn this thing off

[neon_anthrax]

AHA! THERE you are!

Right. Now. I want a set of straight answers, sugartits. Starting with this pretty problem: who the fuck are you and what have you done with my Ultra? EH?

[ultra_ebola]

um

Hi!

I'm Susan and it's nice to meet you?

er what might your name be?

and if I've ever said or done anything nasty to you then I'm sorry??

[neon_anthrax]

Oh, I wouldn't try and sweet talk your way out of this one, Sunshine! Take that disgusting hat off and stop smiling, for Ferry's sake!

You HAVE said and done nasty things. That's the whole flashing point!

Come on, Ults, you know me. You KNOW me! Say my name!