sigh

[nephrozym]

i seem to spend an inordinate amount of time lying here watching irc, half-heartedly watching tv, skimming boring web pages, occasionally writing a line of code, and wishing someone - anyone - would talk to me. i must be terribly intimidating or repulsive or something, to make everyone who knows me bar family, carer and two friends, so unwilling

Comments

[androktone]

or possibly all your friends are manic depressives with Problems who keep meaning to talk to you when they have something nice to say, but never quite find the right time..?

Still your friend, Still thinking about you. Sleep tight xx

[caladri]

I miss talking to you a lot and would like to talk to you more.

[vondoolittle]

You are none of those!!

I always read your posts, but I don't often reply on my friends posts unless I feel I have something valid to say or if they are rl people I know and arrange to meet or whatever...and I don't ever use messengers or IRC either...

(apart from an appearance in Netgoth IRC once or twice for a week every few months)

To be honest, I too spend most of my time bored and just refreshing pages with the tv on in the background unless I'm actually off to theatre or work or something:/

*hugs*

Yeah ...

[rickybuchanan]

It's like a world ... a little world of its own ... and when you're bedridden there's these four walls around you literal AND metaphorical and nobody pierces it easy.

I only have my carers and volunteers, really. No, not true, I have some friends but we're so different. Our sense of time ... one person who I had in my head as "best friend" hasn't come over or even returned phonecalls for a couple of weeks. For her it's in all probability just a really busy time at work ... for me it's n weeks times m days times i hours times j minutes times k seconds of boredom, loneliness, alone-ness, not being able to GO OUT and do stuff, not being able to ... be a part of ANYTHING dammit

[iceyme]

I wouldn't say I'm unwilling/uninterested in talking to you, I just suck at the whole 'keeping in contact with people' thing, which I honestly am sorry about. Thought about you a few times this week, was even planning on acting on it and e-mailing, but I'm not very good with remembering to do things like that when I've got the opportunity to do it either. It's certainly nothing to do with not wanting to though, and I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel that it is..