permanon post.

[nerrin]

♛Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue

Comments

[nerrin]

Ellie ;__

[anonymous]

Uh, how to put this. Sorry for dragging my problem to your anon post, it seems that you're a good listener, I can't really help it.

Anyway, I think I don't get along really well with my best friend. Aren't I supposed to hang really well with a 'best' friend, huh? There are periods in our friendship, like in those times I get along really well with her, the world seemed just perfect to have someone you can lean on whenever you're tired. I usually talk and talk my problem off whenever I'm depressed. Back then my best friend would listen and turned really kind, though she is basically not a very good advisor but she tried to give me advice. But there is also time when I just want to hit her for being so distant and cold. We are in a way too different, putting aside animanga fandom as our common interest, she shares different taste over things. And there is this sort of competitive aura around us too, like when she learns japanese, I try to prove my English to be better than her. Technically she is richer than me that she can freely

[nerrin]

No, it's really fine, I'm actually flattered you'd consider me a good listener

[anonymous]

The moment when you realize that you actually need someone to talk to.

I have always thought I was perfectly alright with how solitary I am.
It's not like I don't have friends but-
I have never really minded that I don't need shoulders to lean on and friends to talk to when I'm experiencing a difficult time. I was even a bit proud of that - the fact that I can be at least a little bit independent, the fact that I can bear my problems and worries alone.

But really. Everything's coming at once (school.. and stuff) and goddamm I FEEL SO SHITTY NOW.
I want to talk to my best friend so badly but I had some kind of argument with her and blah blah. And that guy I have a crush on suddenly changes his relationship status to IN A RELATIONSHIP, isn't this great? Yeah it is right. I'm starting to think that maybe I'm really stuck in my mental developement and that I'm an emotionally stupid 14 year old teenager.

And god I have no idea anymore what shit I'm currently typing.

Now I feel so embarassed (and kind of amused by myself) that I

[nerrin]

Believe me, I know exactly how that feels. I know it sounds arrogant of me to say but yeah, I do understand what you're going through to an extent because - well, I've been there before. In fact, if anything, I'm still very much like that. Anyway.

It's alright to be solitary, to not burden others with your problems because you can - or you think you can - carry them yourself. But we're all human, and by keeping everything to yourself, sometimes it's just...bottling things up for too long can be unhealthy. If you recognize that keeping your difficulties to yourself gets painful, please find an outlet for it. Don't hurt yourself by being too proud to tell anyone anything! I'm not saying that you are, right now, but don't let that happen because it hurts.

School is hard. Right now for a lot of people is where things are crashing into each other and it seems like it keeps getting worse. School is always like that, and I don't blame you for feeling like that, so don't blame yourself - it's a natural thing. As with everything, someday it

[anonymous]

I have ex friends that I want to talk to, as how they are, hopefully at least confirm they don't hate me. I was immature to them, but I don't know how to apologize, or if they'll even listen, it might just get me even more hate.

[nerrin]

I think that you should talk to them anyway - it's a great leap of courage, I'm sure, but well..you never know until you try, and it's going to bother you if you leave it for the rest of your life.

There could be missed opportunities here, and I'm sure that if you make it clear that you're also apologizing for your behaviour in the past and acknowledge that you were immature towards them, most would willingly accept such an apology. In this situation, there's no better way than to talk to them directly, or maybe through some form of PM?

If they turn out to continue to dislike/hate you, then at least you'll have an answer to the question that's bugging you, and at least that will give you a form of closure? (Personally, I think these things fade with time, so I'm sure they wouldn't be THAT hateful, so go for it! If you all manage to reconnect, then that'd be a good thing, wouldn't it?)

[anonymous]

I have drifted apart with most of my friends on lj... we didn’t really talk to each other, but now, it is even more awkward to lit up a short conversation with them. Often they never respond at all, until I feel like only a parasite. I actually like them all very much; they are precious to me as people who care enough. It is more like an obligation for me to drop a careful comment because I don’t want to sound rude, though. They’re all so mature and I bet they will snort at my childishness. The feeling’s never really mutual. I only have one or two close friends to whom I can share my thoughts with… it’s getting even more uncomfortable for me now to just write an entry…what do you think I should do?

[nerrin]

It seems a lot of people are less active on LJ these days...maybe that shift of attention has contributed to your situation; and I do know how hard it can be when this happens...I think if you really do like them, it will be alright and I think no one really minds. It's difficult to communicate only through LJ, so maybe continue to keep in touch and get closer via more instant forms of social networking, like Plurk or Twitter