Trying to keep up with my dream - I have my own place, I have a dog, Oddity is back in my life, I am teaching AND working with kids (not as a teacher). There is a shitton of work I have to do, and many many threads to weave together. I do not have anyone to lean on. My grandson is living with me, and his mom is too, but I get nothing but free ( Read more... )

Oddity broke up with me when I needed him. He could not take the changes my life was going through, and could not - cannot - communicate openly or intimately. With all that I know about having a relationship with him (he's not an easy person and pushes away with all his might) why do I feel lost? He wasn't a useful person. I believe he loved me (I ( Read more... )

Every time I decide to be introspective, I find a new thing to be thankful for and amazed at. Two nights ago, I realized I do not dread going home. I don't fear it. I don't find excuses not to go home. I don't go to anyone else's house - in fact, while I love being at Ray's, I'd rather be home, where my friends and my dog are. I'd rather see my ( Read more... )

I am this woman ( Read more... )

A few days ago, as I walked home from work at high speed (wanted to eat something before getting to the next job) I realized that I wasn't looking for escape anymore ( Read more... )

Today, I celebrated that Karen Crafton and Bill Pham had their son, Kai, on Wednesday. At the same time, I grieve for my friends Joel Woelfe and Jennifer Benton for the choice they have to make for their failing child, Shealynn who was premature and has respiratory damage. Also: Turk and his comment on how we view our friends of over 20 years - ( Read more... )

Going through papers, books, tapes, stuff, clothes... sheesh, did I accumulate stuff over the years. Some things are too hard to get rid of, but rid me I must of them - weighing me down ( Read more... )

So, I don't like interacting with people - and ALL my jobs are people jobs. >-Back to working all three jobs as of March 5. Had to take a break after emotional meltdown over a family matter. I think my allergy to interaction stems from how much I hate dealing with my family (fact is, I love them deeply; but can I love them from a distance, please ( Read more... )

as in, alternate. This is NOT fiction ( Read more... )

Sunday was my youngest daughter's birthday. She turns 23. She hurts often on her b'day because our family friend Maria Giron passed away from cancer on this day. And yesterday, my companion and beastie bestie died. Michelle, the most perfect dog on the face of the planet, the most awesome buddy ever, the greatest dog in the world, died in my ( Read more... )