after a tumultuous last week, i am back on the ship. though at the moment i'm in st. thomas, sitting at a pool side bar on the pier by the ship sipping on a mango smoothie. but it's definitely not the hospital anymore. and i could not possibly be happier ( Read more... )

my bags are packed. they're next to the front door. all my visiting is done. my flight has been confirmed. there's nothing left to do but go.

i should sleep. it will be an early, long and late day tomorrow. but there is far too much nervous energy coarsing through my body to sleep.

so that's that.

off i go.

to the destiny.

i am leaving in two days.

i am a bundle of nerves.

just needed to put that out there somewhere.

I'm giddy. And it feels like it's been a long time since I've felt this way.

I don't want to be hopeful. I'm not sure I even am.

But there is something different about this one. That I know. Only time will tell how different.

Meanwhile, I like this.

Most of the time, when I go home, I'm able to indulge in everything that is wonderful about being there. My family, the community, the history, the closeness, even the insistent social politics. The things I dislike or disagree with are easy enough to ignore; simply tune it out, I'm returning to the city or the globe soon enough ( Read more... )

I am so fraustrated. And angry. And mostly just really fucking hurt.

I don't know how I can't take this personally.

It just makes me want to leave.

And I hate that I'm made to feel this way.

I see potential. I see possibility. I'm intrigued and I have hope.

When you see mistakes, do you forgive or see it as a warning? When you see contradictions, is it human or a bad sign? Where is the line between giving someone a chance and lowering standards?

Sometimes things change so quickly, it leaves my head spinning.

A week or so ago, I finished reading No Opportunity Wasted. I think the book would provide a much greater wake up moment for many more people than me. Mainly, I felt a sense of confirmation that the way I live my life is exactly the way I should. The greatest thing I gained from reading the book was it helped me to articulate things I want to do ( Read more... )

i feel more and more certain, content, even happy that everything is all coming together. life plans are falling into place. yet again, the universe is handing me brilliant opportunities. so i'm going to sieze them. cause if they're going to continue coming my way, i'm not going to waste that ( Read more... )

i turned down a big opportunity today. just about 10 minutes ago actually. a job. i wasn't officially offered the job, but it was down to me and one other person and they wanted to meet with me for coffee and talk some more. then they would offer me or the other person the job tomorrow, i'd have to say yes and then in about a week i would have ( Read more... )