Hypocritical moment to follow ( Read more... )

I worry about pete. He is such a wonderful person dealt so many bust hands. He is so knowledgable beyound his wildest dreams. If he only knew what he taught me while we speak over coffee. I wish I could share my tears of blissful sorrow with him as he does with me. I can see it in his eyes he needs someone to cry to someone to listen to him ( Read more... )

I haven't seen Ronin since thursday. I didn't see him today. So I talk to a couple people who know him that I know. He had to appear in court today/yesterday no ones heard from him. They said they weren't even really sposed to tell me because he thought I'd leave. What if he got put in. He is trying soo hard to get his shit together he doesn' ( Read more... )

ugh pissed i just typed this whole thing out and it disappeared ( Read more... )

the hospital. He braught up the hospital. He said the only thing keeping me and the hospital from reuniting is me. He said that if I was any other doctor I'd be in there already. IN THE HOSPITAL. He said because of how far my eating disorder is and how severe that and my depression both are. That me being suicidal and shit. That he believes ( Read more... )

Saturday was a joke. Honestly. You'd think that my mom would comfort me and tell me something encouraging and nice when I let her see whats really going on and tell her what happens to me when i don't have my eating disorder to cling to. I let her see me cry I let her see me like the complete mess I am with out this. what a disaster my life is ( Read more... )

I hate this. I was doing so well three days god dammit three whole fucking days. I just woke up so fucking sad today and i was all ok i'm going to make this a good day I'm going to feel ok. It wouldn't STOP it would not go away. Then my mom fucking drinks so much she passes out on the ground I hate when she drinks like that and she knows how ( Read more... )

Man you know i was so scared. I was prepared for a horrible day especially after i had that bagel i was like this day is horrible i hate it. I hate this so much i hate fighting this. I am such a loser i actually hid when I ate it because I fucking caved in and almost set myself up to purge but patricia wouldn't let me leave the classroom ( Read more... )

i am in so much pain right now i think i might just buckle over in tears and fucking die. it wont go away it won't stop. I woke up with it this morning and as soon as I put something into my stomach i'm almost in tears. why make it stop!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm on like 8 viox a day for gods sake. It is not period pain its something else oh jesus i'm in so ( Read more... )

I've had enough caffiene to keep me up for a week. I feel so behind on my history final thing. I just can't study anymore I've been studyn straight since 4 and I stopped at 1230. I want to sleep. I just want to drift away. I want to slip into unconscienceness (sp) lalala ah the doors. I want to dream. I want to let my mind be free. I'm so ( Read more... )