ok fuck i dont know if this is going to work i'm really annoyed right now with this ( Read more... )

ok for the fucking third time! aol keeps freezing. the short cuz i'm not doing this whole thing again. no boy dog he got baught BITCH girl dog. she is very cute but i cant figure out how to do a picture someone tell me ( Read more... )

*jumps for joy* so today I fucked up and I binge/purged breakfast and a bagel later but I tried on this skirt and it was a 25! and it went on like pie! and i think what the scale was telling me that i gained was WATER WEIGHT! I was so happy :). I even followed my meal plan for the rest of the day I felt shitty with it in me but i didn't throw up ( Read more... )

they told me to tell my mother what would help me the most. Too bad I can't. It is just too much to ask of her. Please don't tell me how good you were because you ate 200 calories today. Please don't remind me a lady leaves half the food on her plate. Please don't say are you sure you can eat that. Please don't order food from places anymore ( Read more... )

she can have the fucking scale and this fucking disorder. FUCK IT ALL. FUCK THE FUCKING GOD DAMN SCALE. FUCK THE WORLD. FUCK NUMBERS. FUCK IT ALL. jesus its not worth it nothing is worth anything. fat fucking peice of shit. nothing works. nothing makes me happy. nothing. starving keeps me losing the same 15 pounds. starving and binging and ( Read more... )

she told me I have to get rid of my scale. He braught up the hospital again. My scale is the sole basis of my life. As sad as it is my scale manages my day. If I do not know what I weigh I can NOT function. ANXIETY ATTACKS GALORE. Parting with my scale, even just the thought, braught me to tears.,.,.full on tears of fear and sorrow and hatred ( Read more... )

I've been thinking this a lot lately for ages actually even before I remotely considered recovery. I DO want to stop throwing up. At least the binge/purge aspect of my bulimia. If I threw up it would be a once in a while thing. That being said, I don't understand why I can't get help to stop throwing up and atleast be able to still fast and ( Read more... )

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thanks for informing me I had fucking blood tests today! jesus. I don't know what they were for but maybe if I had known before hand I wouldn't have gotten drunk/stoned last night. jesus. It was fun though *last night* today was stupid. Mother took up the entire therapy session for *the world revolves around jessica* trip. the nurse was nice to

new pianting!! just the psainting!1!! new idea thank you prrodidgy ( Read more... )