(Untitled)

[never_exhale_]

i dont know whats wrong with me. nothing is good. i mean nothings BAD, either...im not happy im not sad, ive just found this boring, empty little medium and lodged myself in there. i guess its probably from the whole james thing (derr), but it really sucks. writing is my outlet. but this time im screwed. i dont even know how i feel so how am i

Comments

wow

[fun_4_u]

WOW, that was deep......real deep.
are u still going to be in the grease musical at school?

Re: wow

[never_exhale_]

aw crap i didnt know you still checked this thing. yes i still am in grease. excuse me while i find a rock to crawl under.

Re: wow

[fun_4_u]

is aloadoffmytoe josh the worship leader at twin lakes?
yes i still check your livejournal.
so how do u really feel, how u act in person? or how u act on here?
cause there really different....

Re: wow

[never_exhale_]

no aloadoffmytoe is josh from camp hammer that i had the huge crush on, remember?

honestly i dont even know how i feel. sometimes im fine, sometimes im really not. im used to being the strong one, used to having to MAKE myself be the strong one, so in person its automatic that i hardly ever let it show that im not okay. but if i say and act like everythings okay, everyone will believe me. and for some lame reason, i think that if i can convince enough people, then maybe i can convince myself. usually that doesnt work. like now. and a lot of whats bringin me down is...(god i hate being and sounding like a girl)...it feels like you dont care. and that youre over it, and me, as a girlfriend and a best friend. which makes me feel awful and cheap. so there ya go. thats all i can figure out right now. have a field day.

keep a stiff uper lip

[aloadoffmytoe]

hey there. don't let life get you in... uh the middle. i was there for a long time when i fond out that you and james were going out this year. after all the hopeing and wishing, it (or you) were suddenly out of my reach. so sinse i didn't realy have a reason to be depressed, i was... "meh". for a long time. but it get's better.
i'm not saying i know exactly what you are going through because i don't. but things won't get worse. i know that.

hope you feel better!

joshy washy

Re: keep a stiff uper lip

[never_exhale_]

holy crap i so didnt know our situation made you so sad. if it makes it any better i was pretty sad for awhile too. i really liked you josh, and when we stopped talking on the phone and stuff i thought you were over it so i got over it. so you werent the only one that wished we could have gotten together, cuz boy i did too! maybe i just didnt let it show enough. i guess it was just one of those sucky situations. but yeah, i know i will get over this eventually, but its hard too see that right now. i know its there, but theres tuly fog and its raining and im stuck in traffic with crap songs on the radio. thanks for bein there, you really do make me feel better. you still make me smile! :D. i hope things are going SOO GOOD with Julie (?) and im so happy that youre happy. ah thats just the best.

<3 tab