I ab-so-lutely cannot wait til school starts.

cannot cannot cannot.

i am happy to have what friends i do.
they are all good people.
genuine, i think.

<3
love.

fair warning this is going to be a drunk self-deprecating entry ( Read more... )

Hey you, out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?
Hey you, dont help them to bury the light
Dont give in without a fight.

The song "landslide" makes me cry.
^that wasn't landslide. but it still makes me cry.

I don't have very many people I can get ( Read more... )

 Yeah, so im still not over it...
but a good talk helps.
even though i struggle to find words.
i guess my biggest problem is to find someone who i can stand and actually cares enough about me to listen to me. like really listen. and as much as people preach it and offer their ear (im guilty of it too) they really don't care.
i don't like to do it in ( Read more... )

 I'm feeling much better about things.

nothing has been fixed, so its not going to go away...

but at least i feel better now.

 I don't know who i am anymore.
how did this downward spiral happen?
im not a sad person.
am i? i am now.
in general. over the last two years.

ive thought about it all day (+)
i can't help it.
thinking about it.
history always repeats itself.
and i can never help it.

i am as much ashamed as i am worried.

I have little to say that makes sense anymore.
I guess it's kind of hard for me to articulate.
I know where i am, what im doing, why im doing it.
but i'm still not...anywhere in particular.
i guess its kind of hard for me to even articulate it to myself.
i don't even consciously think about it...it usually hits me while driving.

i don't know where i ( Read more... )

i've been struggling with this for a while.
this subconscious thing that manifests itself almost daily in my life.
it swims through my brain and resurfaces for air (and acknowledgment) throughout the day.
it burrows in my dreams.
i get it, i know it. but...
every time i get close, i freeze.
i am just unsure.
i mean, im not unsure, but i am unsure of the ( Read more... )

 Man, i wish i could just tell her.
ya know, "hey im pretty sure you should open up your eyes"

but i can't say anything.
she will just hold it against me because she doesn't want to see it.
she will just think im being mean about him or whatever.

listen, i don't care about him.
i care about you.
and the decisions you make, and your happiness.

do not change ( Read more... )