in retrospect

Jul 20, 2004 23:05

in retrospect ( Read more... )

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suppah time billy!! mistersheilds July 21 2004, 06:48:01 UTC
Twas a cold dawn dusk ( ... )

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reputation solidified! new_kick July 21 2004, 06:55:53 UTC
VERY NICE!

You have got to be the best "responder" to posts. If there's anything I can get you, don't hesitate to let me know. Coffee, meat, bread? I'm out of milk though.

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Re: reputation solidified! jackwilson July 21 2004, 08:31:46 UTC
B

What happens if you move the opening exclamation around a bit? Ends on a fitting note as is, but you may want to save your oomph for last. Interesting phrasing in the first line, you've implied both skill and duty.

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reputation solidified! new_kick July 21 2004, 09:10:16 UTC
At first, I must admit that I was unsure about the potential impact that your poetry could have on my scourged life, Mr. Sheilds. I have read your poems in the past and found them to be something rather special. But, my dear friend, you have single-handedly penetrated the evils of society- all with magically simple words. I simply cannot believe the plot twist: that the narrator would be the bread-eater. That moment in your story completely encompasses my being. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you. And I mean that with every tightly stitched heartstring of mine. I'd like to end this note of praise with a list of adjectives that I currently feel in my bosom:
anew
uptrodden
glorious
thick
weightless
awestricken

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