Brotherhood (10b/27)
Title: Brotherhood ( Table of Contents)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize is mine. I gain nothing of material value from this.
Pairings: Gen
Chapter1 Chapter2a-- 2b Chapter3 Chapter4 Chapter5 Chapter6 Chapter7 Chapter8 Chapter9 Chapter10a-- 10b
15 October 1999; Stargate Room, Orban; 0700 hrs
He'd been right to wonder about the two Urrone's sudden disappearance the night before.
"It is impossible for Tomin and Zaren to be here," Kalan said, bringing an unfamiliar boy named Solen to Teal'c for tutelage. "They have gone through Averium."
A thrill of fear slithered through Daniel's bones. What passage of knowledge took a ceremony that left the student unavailable afterward? "Exactly what is Averium?" he asked cautiously.
"Solen can explain," Kalan offered, gesturing toward the Urrone.
"I would like to see Tomin immediately," Teal'c countered.
Kalan looked bewildered but agreed to lead Teal'c to his son Tomin while Solen prepared to explain to Daniel.
"I require another word to explain," Solen said as Teal'c left the 'gate room with Kalan. "What is your word for the very small processors that can be inserted into a human?"
That sounded like something Sam would know, but Daniel tried, "Processor, like...a device to--"
"To store and process information," Solen said.
"A computer?"
"They can be used to compute," Solen agreed. "They are too small for the eye to see without aid and can be inserted through a needle into the blood or the brain."
Injectable computers....Oh. Oh no. "Nanites," Daniel realized. "You mean...small machines that can be programmed--set to do different tasks?"
Solen nodded. "That is correct. I will use the word 'nanite' in the future."
"They were infected with nanites?" he said, his mind zipping through emergency protocols. They had to warn the SGC immediately and recommend a lockdown until they could verify that anyone who had stepped foot on Orban--and anyone they had been in contact with--was clean.
But...
"These nanites are the way we acquire knowledge," Solen said. "Every Orbanian receives one nanite each Averium. Urrone children are given many more nanites at birth, because we are required to learn vast amounts of information very quickly. If this is done at infancy, the nanites can serve as additional connections in the brain before the usual connections are established."
"So they help you learn," Daniel said, "but what happens at Averium?"
"The nanites are removed from the Urrone's brain," Solen said. "Each adult and non-Urrone child receives an injection containing one nanite, which becomes part of his or her brain, adding to those nanites received from previous ceremonies. It is the most efficient way of passing knowledge from Urrone to others."
"And the Urrone? What happens to you, after your Averium?"
"We remain together with other past Urrone," Solen told him. "We are not damaged."
This couldn't be fight. Surely he was misunderstanding? "But all the knowledge you've spent your entire life learning--you lose all of that?" Daniel asked.
"After Averium, a Urrone's brain rejects new nanites, so no further learning can take place. The knowledge will no longer be in me, but it can make a great contribution to Orbanian society."
Daniel stared at him, feeling sick. "You said your nanites were implanted before your brain's normal connections formed. So when they're removed...does that mean...?"
"That is correct. My knowledge will reside in the other Orbanians instead. The procedure will not damage me, and I will be well cared for in exchange for the knowledge I provide them."
"But--"
"I do not understand your concern," Solen said.
Footsteps announced Teal'c's arrival. Daniel tore his eyes away from Solen. "Teal'c, did you...?"
"Indeed," Teal'c growled, his expression thunderous. "All of Tomin's knowledge has been removed. There is nothing left of the boy I knew."
Daniel swallowed. "It's nanites," he said in a low voice. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "They give nanites to Urrone at birth. We taught only the Urrone because that's the only way they gain knowledge--the knowledge is stored in the nanites and physically passed to other Orbanians."
Teal'c looked between him and Solen, who seemed curious but uncomprehending of their concern. "Kalan says that the Urrone are well cared for after Averium."
"So are beasts of burden on Abydos!" Daniel hissed.
"Merrin," Teal'c said suddenly, looking toward the Stargate. "She appeared to be approximately the same age as Tomin and Zaren. The SGC must have discovered her nanites already--I must warn them of this Averium."
"Why are you displeased?" Kalan said, hurrying in. "I assure you, Tomin will not be mistreated."
Daniel turned to Kalan, somehow even more horrified than before. "He's your son!"
The man's confusion was turning into annoyance now as he said, "And I was never more proud than I was the day I learned that my son would be Urrone."
Daniel exchanged a glance with Teal'c. "I'll wait here and try to...learn something," he offered. "Anything."
Teal'c nodded. "I will return soon."
Once Teal'c had disappeared through the wormhole, Daniel picked up his pack, met Kalan's frown, and said, "May I see Zaren?"
XXXXX
15 October 1999; Children's Home, Orban; 0800 hrs
Daniel knelt in front of the bed. "Zaren? Do you remember me? It's Daniel."
Zaren frowned at him and bounced once on her bed.
"Knowledge of you and of your language was in her nanites," Kalan said from behind him.
"And you took that from her," Daniel said. They'd taken her mind away, and what was left?
"Yes. She gave it to the other Orbanians."
Ignoring Kalan, Daniel turned on his camera and flipped it around so she could see the display. "Remember this?" he asked. Zaren leaned closer, raising a finger to touch the screen where it showed blue tile of the mosaic. "You do?" he said, but she only grinned happily and dragged the finger down the screen, giggling and pulling her hand back when it swung shut.
Daniel clenched his teeth but forced himself to smile at Zaren when her laughs died down, then pushed the camera back into his pack. He carefully kept his face clear until they were out of the building, out of sight of Zaren and the other children. "Everything that is done to these children--it is acceptable to you?" he asked stiffly.
"They have a duty of their people," Kalan said impatiently.
"Is that what you tell them? That it's their duty to be sacrificed for Orbanian progress?"
"It is their honor, and ours, for them to contribute to our society!" Kalan snapped, starting back toward the Stargate. "They are happy, and you saw for yourself that Zaren is well now. You dishonor them by dismissing their part in what Orban has achieved."
"I'm not dismissing it," Daniel argued, trotting to catch up. "But--"
Kalan stopped and turned to him. "You are proud of who you are?"
Surprised, Daniel said, "What?"
"I govern in Orban--I have pride in my place. You study and gain knowledge for Earth--are there not things you give up for that end, and are you not proud of what you do nonetheless?"
"But I had a choice," Daniel said. "Well...not at first. But...Kalan, I can hardly compare anything I have given up to what you ask of your Urrone."
"It is their choice and their honor," Kalan said. "See what we have accomplished--if you could help to bring your world to progress as fast as we have, would you not do everything in your power? I do not force Urrone to do anything they do not wish for themselves, and they will be honored as...'heroes,' as you would say, for all time."
Perhaps it was good that Teal'c had returned by then and was waiting by the Stargate, because Daniel didn't know how to answer that.
"Kalan," Teal'c said, "we do not believe the Averium would be in Merrin's best interest."
Kalan's eyes widened in surprise, then darkened. "It is most certainly in her best interest, for her and her people!"
"You don't force them to undergo Averium, you said," Daniel said. "What if she chooses otherwise? Surely we could discuss other solutions?"
"There are no other solutions," Kalan said, angry, spinning on his heel to leave after giving Daniel a final glare, as if realizing he had mostly been stalling to give time for Teal'c speak to the SGC and report. "You will return Merrin to us immediately for the Averium!"
Teal'c met Daniel's gaze once they were alone in the room. "O'Neill and Major Carter are attempting to convince Merrin to choose not to return to Orban."
"Will she?" Daniel asked. "Refuse Averium, I mean."
"I do not believe she will," Teal'c said. "I must inform the SGC of Kalan's response."
"I'll stay," Daniel offered. "I'll keep trying to convince them there's another way. They might be unhappy with us, but they won't hurt me. It's not their way."
Teal'c paused in dialing the DHD. "They cannot reach Earth without a remote code."
"Then I can hold Kalan here," Daniel said. "It'll at least give you more time to talk to Merrin."
XXXXX
15 October 1999; Stargate Room, Orban; 1100 hrs
It was hours before Kalan returned to the 'gate room. Daniel stood when Kalan stormed back in. "I gave you time to let your people see reason," the Orbanian leader said, "but I see they still refuse to let Merrin return."
Daniel took a deep breath. "We only want the best for her. Kalan, the Orbanians are an incredibly advanced people. Won't you even consider the idea of better ways of learning?"
Kalan huffed. "There is no better way. You are taking away Merrin's chance at Averium."
"There are ways of learning without using and discarding children!"
Furious, Kalan said, "You told Zaren that you loved knowledge of different peoples, and yet you demand that we change when you dislike our ways!" He moved toward the DHD, reaching as if to dial.
Daniel rushed to stand in front of it as a physical barrier. "You can't do that. There's a shield in front our Stargate, and you'll be killed if you go through without me."
"If your people do not allow Merrin to return to us, the knowledge she has spent years learning will be lost," Kalan said, scowling. "She is the only Urrone who has studied naquadah technology her whole life. We must be prepared for an attack if the Goa'uld come here."
"There's no reason to think that'll happen," Daniel said. "We don't know if the Goa'uld will--"
"From what I have learned of the Goa'uld from my son, I know technology will increase their interest here," Kalan said. "If you claim otherwise, you are trying to deceive either us or yourself."
Daniel gripped the DHD behind him. "I'm not... Okay. Maybe you're right. But Merrin--you'll take away everything that makes her who she is. She'll be dead in all the ways that matter."
Kalan looked surprised again and tapped his temple. "She will be here. She will be with all the Orbanians. But if you hold Merrin against her will, her work will be lost, and we will have to wait twelve years for another Urrone to learn in order for naquadah research to continue."
It would just be repeated, then. Holding Merrin would only keep her from what she saw as her duty; as shocking as the Averium process was to Daniel, he had no doubt that she would be unhappy if she were denied what she saw as her place. Progress would be hindered and society disrupted while the Goa'uld might come any time, and the cycle would just be repeated with another. Unless they were willing to declare war on this world to force their own views...but that would make them no better than the Goa'uld, and, quite honestly, Orban could probably win.
"If you were in Merrin's place..." Daniel said, trying one last time.
"I would be appalled to be refused a chance to undergo Averium," Kalan said sincerely. "But I was not chosen to be Urrone. I would have been honored." When Daniel still hesitated, he said, "Do not fear for her. She will not suffer, as you have seen of the other past Urrone."
What was more important than the freedom to choose one's own path?
Sam would understand, maybe, if not agree. Teal'c knew it was the only way. Jack would never forgive him.
Daniel swallowed, then turned around to dial Earth himself. He waited for the wormhole to be established and sent his IDC.
XXXXX
15 October 1999; SGC, Earth; 1130 hrs
"Mr. Jackson," General Hammond said when he stepped out. "You know the rules about bringing anyone into this facility."
"Yes, sir," Daniel said, not quite meeting his eyes. "But the Orbanians have requested that Merrin return to her home. We can't continue to refuse. Sir."
He could feel the general's eyes on him despite his averted gaze. "Merrin is still in Major Carter's lab, finishing work on the naquadah reactor."
Kalan stepped forward. "You will not allow her to return as she would wish, but you are willing to hold her prisoner here and use her knowledge to further your own technology?"
The general looked surprised--clearly, he hadn't thought of it that way--but sighed. "I understand. I've been expecting this. Let's wait in my office. I'll have someone call Colonel O'Neill to meet us there. Merrin will return with you, Kalan."
...x...
Daniel couldn't help looking up when the door swung open, and he could tell by the expression that Jack knew, and that there was no placating him this time. "Jack," he started.
"No," Jack said flatly.
"Merrin will return to Orban with Kalan," the general said. "I've already granted the request."
"Your Daniel Jackson has come to realize Merrin's importance to her people," Kalan said.
"Her importance as a vegetable?" Jack said.
Daniel flinched as the general snapped, "Colonel!"
Kalan stood to face Jack. "If you would try to understand--"
Jack ignored the general and retorted, "No, I won't! The way you treat your children is absurd! You don't deserve them."
"Colonel O'Neill!" the general barked, leaping to his feet.
"Jack," Daniel started again.
Jack's eyes said traitor, and Daniel stopped and looked away. "Request permission to be excused, sir," Jack growled. He turned and walked away without waiting for an answer.
Daniel sank lower into his chair as the other two men remained standing, Kalan staring after Jack in astonishment while General Hammond massaged his temple. "I apologize," the general told Kalan. "I'll have Merrin sent down now."
An alarm blared. Kalan jumped. The general reached for his phone. Daniel sighed and watched the light flash red.
The alarms stopped. "In the future, Major," the general was saying, "before you activate any device that includes the word 'reactor,' I would appreciate it if you would notify me."
Ah. The naquadah reactor had worked. So they'd harvested all they could of Merrin, too, before sending her back to have the rest of her brain harvested. Daniel thought he said, "Excuse me, sir," but he might have simply walked out the door. Either way, no one stopped him.
...x...
Some time later, the general found him in the library and said that Colonel O'Neill had taken Merrin and gone AWOL, and did Daniel have any idea where he might have taken her?
"I don't know," Daniel said, though, in truth, he wasn't surprised.
A sigh. "Would it do any good to look for him at his house?" the general said.
Jack was smarter than that. "No, sir. But if she wants to go home, he'll bring her back eventually, I'm sure of it."
"I'm not sure Kalan will be comforted by that."
Daniel nodded at his hands. "Do you, um. Do you need me for anything?" he asked.
"No; we just need Colonel O'Neill here." The general shook his head. "You did the right thing, son, with Kalan."
"How can that possibly be the right--" Daniel stopped. The general had an angry Orbanian to deal with now, and a missing colonel and Urrone. The last thing he needed was to give more platitudes. "Yes, sir," he said. He pushed away from the table and fled to his room.
XXXXX
16 October 1999; Daniel Jackson's Quarters, SGC; 1700 hrs
Jack stepped into his room the next day without knocking. "We're back."
Daniel didn't look up. "From where?"
Jack pushed the door quietly shut behind him. "Orban. You didn't hear us leave?" Daniel shook his head. "We went to visit the kids." Jack sat stiffly on his bed and twisted to look down at him on the floor. "They're playing. Drawing pictures, having fun."
"No, they're not. I visited Zaren, and she was just...sitting there."
Jack shifted. "Well, not anymore. Merrin got an eyeful of playground equipment and whatnot, and they're teaching all the kids to play catch and...hopscotch and things like that now. We gave them more crayons and stuff."
Daniel almost asked what equipment was on a playground, or what hopscotch was, but he found he didn't really care. "Oh," he said bitterly. "It's all okay, then."
"I know it's not, goddammit!" He glanced up to see Jack visibly restraining himself from snapping something more, and he remembered which one of them had been so furious at the idea of Averium that he'd risked court-martial to show her another life for a few hours--which of them had tried to give another choice.
"Are you in trouble?" Daniel asked.
"Ask if I care."
Daniel fixed his gaze on the floor again and couldn't muster the effort.
"This Zaren you mentioned," Jack said eventually. He held out a sheet of paper with something scribbled over the surface. "She drew this. Kalan thought you should have it--"
Daniel ripped the paper violently away, crumpled it into a ball, and whipped it across the room.
"Okay," Jack said shortly, standing up.
"They killed her," he said, pulling his knees toward his chest. "And I helped them kill Merrin."
"She's not dead."
Daniel laughed humorlessly with his face buried in his knees. "Do you know what it's like to lose your mind? Does it even matter now?" Was he even making sense? Maybe he was losing his mind again, too. He'd been half-expecting it, anyway.
"It's not the same thing, Daniel," Jack said tightly.
Maybe it wasn't the same, but he'd spent two weeks feeling like everything that made him who he was had been taken away, and he hadn't even lost anything, not really; it would be over if he could just stop thinking about it. It wasn't the same at all--wasn't it even worse for the Urrone, who really had lost everything they'd packed into their minds? Except that they'd had a choice, and whether or not he approved, how could he claim to be able to decide for them?
"I had to bring Kalan to the SGC," he said, looking up. Jack was at the door, a hand on the doorknob and his eyes fixed on the frame, so he said quickly, "I had to, Jack. It was her choice, and we didn't have the right to--"
"I thought you'd get it--we let you down before we ever got to Merrin," Jack said. Daniel shook his head, but Jack wasn't looking, so Daniel couldn't tell if he'd seen. His voice was controlled, the way it was when he wanted to yell and was trying hard not to. "How long have you been sitting there? You're still in gear from yesterday."
Daniel didn't know, so he didn't answer. A muscle twitched in Jack's jaw, and then he left.
...x...
Daniel started when a knock came on his door. A few moments later, Teal'c's voice said from outside, "Daniel Jackson?"
Two knocks later, Teal'c entered and shut the door behind himself. He studied Daniel silently for a moment, and his eyes found the crumpled ball of paper on the floor. He bent to pick it up, then carefully opened and smoothed it before holding it out.
"I don't want it," Daniel said.
"Perhaps," Teal'c said, but he didn't move, and Daniel finally took the sheet and looked at it.
It was a stick figure, like the ones Sam always made when she tried to draw humans. Sam must have taught Merrin at some point, and Merrin had given that to Kalan, and Kalan had taught Zaren, and now the stick figure had mud-colored hair and wore a lopsided, blue dress. He guessed it was supposed to be meaningful, but he hadn't known the person who had drawn that picture. The person he'd thought was Zaren--and Tomin and Merrin--had been the compiled contents of nanites, and once the nanites were gone, what was left?
He didn't realize he was wound so tight until Teal'c settled next to him and he jumped again. Teal'c paused, then gently put the drawing aside.
"I thought this time was different, Teal'c," Daniel said. "It was supposed to be a research trip. I kept thinking that Zaren and Tomin were so smart, and loved learning things, and then it was...gone. And Merrin, too. She was just a child."
"That is a grief we understand well," Teal'c said quietly.
Daniel slid his hands inside his sleeves, only then noticing they were still dusty with Orbanian dirt. "I don't know what to do," he admitted. "I've never been so..."
Teal'c didn't answer for a long time. Finally, he said again, "You are tired." He reached around Daniel and tugged on his sleeve until his arm slid out of the jacket. Daniel sat and let him do the same to the other arm, then watched him hang the jacket neatly on the back of a chair. "We forget that you have lived only a fraction of our lives. Every battle is longer to you."
Sure that there was a lesson there, Daniel tried to unravel it, but he really was tired, so he gave up. "Is Sam still in her lab? With the reactor?"
"Major Carter went home immediately upon our return from Orban."
So she didn't want to look at it, either, their reward for Merrin's brain. "Jack?"
"General Hammond is displeased with his actions," Teal'c answered, though both of them knew that was an enormous understatement.
"He's angry. He doesn't even want to look at me, Teal'c," Daniel mumbled.
"O'Neill requires time to grieve without adding to your troubles," Teal'c said after a moment. "He would not have asked me to come here if he did not also worry for you. But--"
"But he wants to yell at me at the same time," Daniel guessed unhappily.
"I believe O'Neill is uncertain of how he should behave toward you at the moment."
"Yeah." Everyone kept saying he was between child and adult, or that he was both, but to Jack, he could be one or the other but not both at the same time. It was part of what made working with him so easy at times and utterly impossible at others. Daniel started to get up, then froze, staring at his wrist. "Teal'c...where--" Frantically, he checked his other wrist, then rose to search the bare top of the nightstand. "Skaara's...his band, the one he gave me. Gods, they took it, didn't they?"
"I found it when we retrieved your belongings from Mental Health," Teal'c said quietly.
He was ashamed at the strength of the relief that nearly knocked him over, and he carefully sat back down on the bed. "It's just...a string of leather. I didn't even notice it was gone. It doesn't mean...I just never take it off."
"Perhaps," Teal'c said again. "Come with me."
"Teal'c--"
"Do not fight me. Stand up." Daniel shut up and stood. Teal'c steered him out of his room.
Once they reached Teal'c's quarters, Teal'c returned to him the ro'ri leather cord Skaara had given him years ago, untied now and fraying at one end but still whole. "And...and yours?" Daniel asked, not meeting Teal'c's eyes. "Did you find the other one, too?"
"Indeed." Teal'c handed the other strip to him as well but didn't let go. "Are you ready?" Daniel started to nod, but Teal'c said, "Stop. We will trust your word, but you will not lie to me, chal'ti, or to yourself. Are you prepared to join us and fight again?"
Daniel looked away and shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe not."
Teal'c knotted one band, and then the other, around his wrist. "Good. When you say you are ready, we will believe you, but not until then."
"I'm tired of people being hurt," Daniel said. "Sometimes, it's like there's nothing else."
"There is much more than that. You have forgotten, but you will remember again," Teal'c said. "There is no shame in rest. You help no one if you lose yourself first."
XXXXX
18 October 1999; Archaeology Office, SGC; 0900 hrs
"So, you know that symposium in Chicago?" Robert said.
Daniel hovered at the door to their office. "When is it?"
"This weekend."
"Oh. I forgot about it."
"Yeah," Robert said. "Are you still coming?"
Daniel sat down slowly at his desk, comforted by the solidity of the desk before him and the chair behind but not particularly interested, for once, in what was on the desk. "Why wouldn't I go?"
"W--well, I mean, no reason. Just. Are you?" Robert fidgeted with his pen, looking uncomfortable. "It's up to you, obviously. You want to?"
...x...
18 October 1999; General Hammond's Office, SGC; 1000 hrs
"General," Daniel said when he was gestured inside the office.
"What can I do for you?" General Hammond said.
"You said I could have time off," Daniel said. "There's an Egyptology conference, and I know Robert and I would both be gone at the same time, but--"
"It's fine," the general said. "Dr. Rothman told me already. And I do want you to take time off, not just a weekend--take the rest of this week. And really, this time."
"I think I'd like to take a few days, as well, sir," he said, the admission leaving him simultaneously uncomfortable and relieved.
General Hammond sighed. "Are you all right, son?" Daniel nodded, because there wasn't really another answer he could give to the general. "I...will admit that your situation is not what we're used to dealing with if you need help. Is there anything I can do?"
"I don't--I just need some time to think, that's all," he promised. "Permission to speak--?"
"Of course."
"Don't court-martial Jack," he said.
"Daniel..." the general said.
"He was trying to do the right thing. And maybe it was the right thing. And he told me... I think maybe you were right, I'm a liability to their team and their...their judgment. And I wasn't acting the way a member of SG-1 should have when Kalan was here, and I was even denying the--I didn't want to acknowledge the ramifications of what we were seeing there and--it doesn't matter. The point is, my judgment was wrong--"
"Yes, it was," the general said. Daniel stopped and found himself looking at his feet. "Since I was the one who authorized you to go, thinking it would be safe, I won't pretend I wasn't at fault, too, but Mr. Jackson, you understand now how important it is to recognize your limits. It's not something to be embarrassed about; it's being responsible."
"Yes, sir," Daniel told the floor.
"In the end, you did the right thing with the Orbanians," the general said. "This time, Colonel O'Neill made the wrong call. It's that simple. We both know Jack--he might have done the same no matter what your involvement was."
"But I make it worse."
"Colonel O'Neill disobeyed direct orders, kidnapped a little girl, and could have sparked an interplanetary disaster with a highly advanced planet. He is responsible for his actions. I need him to act as a leader of the team that represents Earth, not as a worried...parent. To anyone. There is no room for that kind of misjudgment."
"Sir--"
"He won't be brought up on charges," the general said, "but I have responsibilities, too. This was a major misstep, and his record will reflect that. That's the best I can do."
"Yes, sir," Daniel said. "And something else: I think we should send someone back to Orban to learn more."
General Hammond gave him a long look. Daniel felt his fingers started to fidget with the seam of his jacket, so he folded his hands under his arms instead. "Maybe the Urrone have a choice to go through Averium," the general said, "but since they had no say in becoming Urrone, I'm not sure they do have a real choice. Colonel O'Neill thinks they're all brainwashed, in a way, and I can't say I disagree--"
"I think so, too," Daniel started, "them and the adults and everyone else, and in fact--"
"I'm not going to interfere with their way of life, Mr. Jackson. That doesn't mean I condone it. I cannot support relations with a people that treats its citizens in that way."
"Yes, sir," Daniel agreed, "I know, but please, hear me out. The Orbanians started using nanites less than fifty years ago, and I could be completely wrong, but...well, Zaren said they don't keep records because they don't need it, with the nanites. Now, I don't know what happened fifty years ago, if there was a Goa'uld or...an accident or anything, but something happened to erase their old way of life so completely that they don't remember any other choice, and they don't even have records to remind them."
"I understand that's changed since we went there."
"But not enough. Someone could go and teach the Urrone to...to teach, and eventually, it'll show them another option. And we could restore relations with them and gain their help in developing technology, and we'd be influencing a change in them without forcing it."
General Hammond looked thoughtful. "Not SG-1, I think..."
"No, sir, that would be...bad, probably. But there are other teams."
"I'll consider it. It's a good point, Mr. Jackson."
Daniel swallowed. "And about SG-1...nothing will happen to the team?"
"Before you're cleared for full duty, you mean?" the general said. Daniel flushed little in embarrassment, but the general seemed to understand. "SG-1 will act as a three-man team, as before, unless they need someone to assist them. But I need them to find a fourth member--if only because they'd be safer with another person to help--and I can't hold that open forever."
"No, sir. I know you can't wait for me to..." To what? Pull himself together? Stop acting crazy?
General Hammond sighed again. "Others who have assisted them in the past tell me they're difficult to work with."
Daniel nodded, gratified to be included in that confidence. "I've heard some people say the same, but that's just because their...methods and interaction with each other are unconventional, but they're also important to the way the team operates." He worked well with them because he understood that and respected it, as they understood that his own unusual methods could be a contribution and not an obstacle.
"The four of you are...the most eclectic and most unpredictable team I've ever considered putting together," the general said, rubbing his forehead. "That's paid off in the past--like what you just recommended about Orban might pay off again--but I can't afford that all the time. And I don't know if it would be best for each of you, either. I need to think about this."
"I understand, sir."
The general shook his head. "I can't hold the position indefinitely--and I do want you to take as much time as you need to be ready--but SG-1 will still want to know where you are, part of their team or not. Tell them before you leave for the conference. For now, you'll just report to Dr. Rothman, like before. We'll sort out everything else when you get back."
XXXXX
18 October 1999; Colonel O'Neill's Office, SGC; 1200 hrs
"Jack?" Daniel said tentatively at the door to the office.
A rubber ball bounced off a wall. "We're going off-world again tomorrow morning," Jack said.
"I know," Daniel answered, with an odd mixture of panic and dejection. "I'm leaving, too." Jack caught the ball, stopped, and looked at him. He looked away. "Not until Friday. It's the conference, with Robert. I wanted to...I don't know. You're--you're leaving tomorrow?"
Jack set the ball down on his desk. "Yeah."
Daniel took a breath. "Where? Is it..."
"Just a regular exploration. No more dangerous than usual," Jack said.
Considering the last few missions they'd had, that wasn't really comforting, but Daniel nodded mutely anyway.
He wasn't sure what his face looked like, but Jack sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "Daniel. You'll be okay?"
Daniel nodded. "I need to get my head together," he said, repeating Jack's own words. "It's not a big deal. Only a few days, and I'll be with Robert. Be careful, okay?"
"'Course. I'll call you as soon as we get back from our mission. That phone I gave you, keep it on, all right? It'll be fine."
"Yeah?" Daniel said.
Teal'c would have said something like 'I cannot say for certain,' but Jack said, "Yeah, promise." Daniel thought maybe he needed both answers, which made no sense at all, so he nodded uncertainly and left.
From the next chapter (" Perspectives"):
"Just don't get lost," Robert advised, keeping a close eye on his position.
"Right," Daniel said, looking like that was the last thing he wanted to do. "No. Sure."