im doing this here because its the only one of my blogs i know most people dont read. im so stuck right now and i just feel like rolling into a ball and crying until i cant produce any more tears. until my body is so weak that it takes the hardest effort just to close my eyes. he's got me so confused. i feel like the only reason i chose ryan ( Read more... )

people can be so cruel. im gonna go shoot myself. fuck you friend of a friend. yeah thats right FUCK YOU i fucking hate you i hope you die and rot in hell you fucking bitch. fuck off.

there he sat. on the cold, shady sidewalk. left with no goodbye. just a drop off and a walk away. people walked by. looked at him in disgust. why would he just be sitting there? who would do that to him? then it happened. the sprinklers. the beginning of a soak that only got on his arm. a little on his chest but the water was cold. his heart was ( Read more... )

its raining outside and its gorgeous. graduation was awesome. i wish i could do it all over again and get this much money/awesome stuff more than once. ive decided to swear off boys for the time being because they cause trouble and i dont know what to do around them. it sucks. im out.

havent updated in a while. im still alive. im right here. party next week. for my graduation. at my house. on sunday the 29th. call me for directions if you dont know how to get here. and then i turn 18!!!! woo hoo ill be legal which means i can date those 28 year old men ive been after at work. yesssssss. okay im out.

im still holding out for you.

i had a dream one night and it was my best dream in a while. i was downtown in some city with my entire family. i was walking alone behind everyone and it was dark outside. i was taking in the lights and noticing the people around me when it hit me. i looked on my right and there was a beatup rusty red door. i dont know why but i decided to go ( Read more... )

sometimes i pretend that i am not myself.

we speak in the store im a sensitive bore and youre marketly more and im oozing surprise. but its late in the day and youre well on your way what was golden went gray and im suddenly shy. and the gathering floozies afford to be choosy and all sneezing darkly in the dimming divide. i have read the right books to interpret your looks you were ( Read more... )

i was watching tv the other day. i saw a commercial for like, menopause or something that happens to old women. i wasnt really paying attention to it until i heard the music in the background. her space holiday. HER SPACE HOLIDAY was playing. sampled in the background of a menopause commercial. holy shit.