I do not want a tombstone

I will rise from the fire

on the other side

and try again.

Start again, another turn

I will rise from the fire

in another time

and live again.

"Mom ( Read more... )

Establishing Trauma (facts concerning the life I was brought into ( Read more... )

I decided writing this thing was super important to me at the same time that my new little brother moved into the room with the computer. Ah, life ( Read more... )

People like to say that suicide is cowardly. People like to pretend our survival instinct just steps aside when you've reached a extreme level of desire for self-harm, that the selfish sadness engulfs all sense of reason, and the depressed think of nothing but themselves as they pray for their last moments to end. It takes so much to get to that ( Read more... )

My divorce was easy.Not for me. For me the journey was hellish, the day itself felt like I was drowning, but comparatively. Divorces are not like other break-ups; they are deeper, more intense, a death. I have spent my whole life one-upping everyone else in my head (my childhood was worse, my boyfriend was worse, anything you can do, etc) but I ( Read more... )

I can't make sense of how I feel about my mother, and she will dead before I figure it out. I am in my mid-thirties now, she's just over 60. But she isn't the type of person who takes care of herself- not at all. She taught me everything I know about not-funtioning. How not to eat. How not to socialize. How not to dress, to act, to wear ( Read more... )

This is the first time I am being fingered, first time I am being penetrated at all, and I am on a bus, in a bathroom, in New York City. I am 13. I have not even thought to look at myself downthere, do not even really understand how it works, despite having gotten my period when I was 10, despite health class diagrams, despite masturbating against ( Read more... )

August 31, 2009 ( Read more... )

i want to rip the veins right out my arms.