You said I don't update anymore. I guess there is some logic behind that. The less I complain, the better you feel. I'm not hurting so much about things here, I just want you. I do want to drive down there every Tuesday and Thursday. I know it would make them suspicious as hell, so I don't, but I want to. I don't know anymore. I want to tell you ( Read more... )

I want to write. I want to put it down so I don't forget. I want to know pain, and sorrow, and loss. There all I have left. I have friends, but its not the same. They won't do anything for me either. They all sat Their there for me, then I ask for help: and there not. I don't want to be alone I want you with me. I want you to love me. Love me ( Read more... )

Suppression. Lock it away. Forget get it exists. Thats how you stay in control Alex. Thats how you keep everything under control. You put the anger on the shelf. You lock it away and forget its there.

Suppression, thats how you stay in control of your life.

So I made a few calls. Potentially blew the whole thing up by telling Jim. I had to ask. It was a judgement call. I had to at least ask. I probed first, I kind of got a feel for the waters. I had to try. He thinking about it. Thats a good sing. It wasn't an out right no ( Read more... )

Man, last night... I mean MAN ( Read more... )

That, I must say, was one of the best experiences of my life. I hope there are more to come in the future too. I love you.

FINALLY!!! Some good news from the world of Alex. I have a job now. I start on the 17th. Its telemarketing paying $9/hr. I'm working night shift for the shift differential, otherwise I'd only be making $7.50/hr. Schedules not really that bad though. 4pm-11:15pm with the option to come in early and leave late. Unlimited overtime potential and on my ( Read more... )

Just a few songs that I thought fit. They may not but I'll try to explain ( Read more... )

Drum roll ( Read more... )

Have you ever really wondered about yourself? Asked all of the big questions for real instead of doing it just to pass Careers class? I'll save you the ten paragraph version and summerize. I'm 20, and I have absolutly NO GOAL for the FUTURE! I hear a lot of people say things like "Well I'm 45 and I have no idea what I want to do." These are the ( Read more... )