So I said I wasn't hiding anymore. And then I go weeks without updating this journal. My only excuse is that I almost have to feel motivated or compelled to update, and I just haven't felt it.

However, I am forcing myself to update, because I am seeing the signs of myself being deep in the "cave," as Cat called it, and one of the ways I can pull out ( Read more... )

First, a note to self. Change from Audible to music in order to write.

I have been thinking a lot about what I read in my archives the other night. I was well on my way to being a healthy, somewhat well-adjusted human being. WTF happened?

I made choices, that's what happened. I can't really blame anyone for what I have become but myself. I chose to ( Read more... )

I have been examining emotions a lot lately. Being an empath, I always absorbed and felt other peoples' emotions. It has always been a curse, never a blessing. I have never understood why other pagans think having empathy as a gift is such a great thing ( Read more... )

I realized that my journal entries were essays. I was a good writer and I enjoyed it. I stopped writing here because I knew that my marriage was toxic and I couldn't handle anyone being critical of it. I even stopped therapy with my favorite therapist because of it ( Read more... )

So I had my last session alone with Sarah tonight. I'm going to miss her. I have made a lot of progress with her and have enjoyed our sessions. I have also enjoyed actually dealing with my father's death and working towards a more positive life than this pit of depression I have been living in for over 3 years ( Read more... )

I'm watching Practical Magic on WGN. the joys of only having the network channels. But, we have internet and I have netflix, so it's a trade-off ( Read more... )

Sweetness's father died Saturday. We knew it was coming, he was sick for years. But it doesn't make it easier. Now that we are all married, he was my father-in-law. The ironic part is that me and my therapist had had a good session about my dad the day before. Something in me knew I needed to deal with some of those issues then ( Read more... )

I miss this journal. I think I will keep it. Thanks to LJ for not getting rid of it.

RIP Cricket
03-2001 to 07-12-07
You were a good cat.
You were a good friend.
You will be missed.

Well, things certainly do change. My family has grown and changed and I am more happy with things. I don't know if it's because all the pieces are in place and I feel as if we are more balanced, or what, but it's working for me, finally ( Read more... )