i had the most overwhelming sence of sadness ( Read more... )

these days
i don't know what to do with myself
i have voids in time that has mysteriously past
i sit in the paddock for 2 hours
just humming
thinking
looking
touching
and then i snap back to this harsh reality
the pain and chores
so mundayne they almost gain an element of excitemnt
is my sick sadistic way
i broke 2 plates for fun yesterday

xo

today i saw our future.

and i wept.

one day things collapsed

it was unexpected

minds wide saw nothing

i saw it, i saw you

i could have told it

if you had just asked

but those ignorant fools

trapped up in beauty

enclosed in individuality

them, rendered dull

by their very existence

made no move

none for sanity

none for insanity
not even the ( Read more... )

today i was a loner.

and i realised this is through and through.

pretty much, i enjoy being a loner

i am not a loser

i have a lot of friends

but if i had the choice

my entire day

would be spent

in an isolated room

my

'angry person' music

my

'crying person' music

my

'string quartet' music

blaring

and me

in my silently erratic world
that is my ( Read more... )

today i almost cried.

and now I want you to FUCKING DIE.

today was too fucked up for me

i don’t know what is happening to my head

i am getting flash-backs

of events

and of people

that changed my life

and reached their demise

i want these things to stop

why can’t I be normal?

and have the biggest worry in my life as

my teen angst
or my silly hair ( Read more... )

come back come back come back fuck you i hate you why did you do this to me? to yourself to you friends to your fucking dad your brother YOU BOTH LOST HER your mum and i lost her to we both fucking lost her i lost lulu you lost het too they are fucking gone and never coming back you huged me you told me it was ok you found me and saved me we got ( Read more... )

today i had caffeine.

and was shocked by my giggles.

normal day

new ideas for art

it involves old school rules

and buttons

city tomorrow

i hate lying to my mother

but it is just normal now

we will sit on the porch with a beer/passionpop/ribena after a long day of art faggyness and exclaim "i think the muffins are ready"

me and takiri narnia
"the ( Read more... )

today i ate nerds.

and am still as daft.

i baught some of my canvas's home tonight

and my brother and mum were like:

"oh.. they are a little bland"

i worked for months on these

and them being "bland" doesn't cut it for me

bacause i know they're good

so many people on myspace and msn are dull

bland
and so emotional they've become emotionless ( Read more... )

today i walked alone.

and realised i watch them squark.

Wrap it up

Wrap it up

Covered in

Bits of earth

Put my name

On the front

Build it up

Build it up

Watch it burn

Watch it burn

Insulin and Ritalin

Go inside

Go inside

Watch my eyes

Watch my eyes

Round and round

Upside down

Think I’ll go

Watch me burn

Watch me burn

Eyes go up

Watch them burn
( Read more... )

today i thought i had an issue.

and now i think it more so.

i've fucked up so much lately.

i feel terrible.

there is something wrong in my head.

i fidget non stop.

i interupt people, and i think that is soso low.

i can't concentrate, no matter how hard i try.

maybe it is here.

*shrug*

so yes.

i can't think.

well of course i can.
there's just too ( Read more... )