I know how you feelwoe13January 2 2005, 16:38:08 UTC
Having this eating disorder is like living in hell. All you need is that glimmer of light, something to pull you out of the misery. I don't know if you will ever find it...I haven't. I can drink water and feel so bad about something in my stomach, or feeling full that i will purge. I eat to throw up, not because I am hungry or for pleasure. I need it to fuel my horrible lifestyle. I love the high I get after I purge up tons of food.
Re: I know how you feelnikkirememberedJanuary 2 2005, 21:18:09 UTC
Right now I'm trying to find the glimmer of light in God. I haven't really been a religious person, but I feel it's satan that's making me tortue by body. The high that I get from purging is addicting, I swear it is. Sometimes I can be feeling so fatigue and when I binge and purge I become so energetic and high. It's a struggle and I'm here for you. <3
girl...I feel your pain all too well right now! I've had 2 out of my last 3 days plagued by b/p. why the fuck am I doing this to myself? I literally purge til I dry heave blood. I can't risk any calories getting stuck in me (even though I KNOW damn well some are). FUCK! it's times like this when it would be wonderful to jump out the window. oh, but then I'd upset my family even more than I already have. I hate these moments of despair...when the bulimic in me rises to the top...kicks the anorexic side of me in the ass...and says "YOU WILL BINGE...I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH FUCKING ENERGY YOU HAVE TO PUT INTO THE PURGE! MWAHHAHAHA!" damn bulimia! I sincerely pity you. I hate my bulimic moments, and I can only imagine the frustration it causes having to live with it every day. thank god my anorexia is so much stronger than my bulimia! (did I just thank god that I have anorexia? lol ...that's weird!) luv ya Dori
No I don't think it's weird at all. Purging used to be a snap for me. Just stick my fingers down my throat and walaa the food comes up, and I mean all of it. But now it's so difficult. My gag reflexes are shot to death. luvs rachel
It makes me feel worthless to, so I just throw up my hands. Feeling worthless only makes things worse. I set myself up to binge all over again. I'm trying to look at the good inside of me. I don't think you're worthless. I think you are a beautiful person inside and out. <3
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I find some great information on fasting. Be sure to check it out. I'll post it in Thinspiring. <3
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damn bulimia! I sincerely pity you. I hate my bulimic moments, and I can only imagine the frustration it causes having to live with it every day. thank god my anorexia is so much stronger than my bulimia! (did I just thank god that I have anorexia? lol ...that's weird!)
luv ya
Dori
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