Where do I begin. My bulimia is still out of control. So is my weight.

The irnony of it all: The one thing that I thought would make me perfect and give me control, has only made me uglier and out of control

GO FIGURE

Highest Weight: 218 lbs ( Read more... )

Progress is slow, but it's okay. Having the time to grow and learn is more important than saying "I'm recovered after spending 29 days in the hospital" That's just setting myself up to fail. It's an 'all or nothing' way of thinking. Either I'm bulimic or I'm not. But I've learned to find that middle ground. Which is, Hospitalization was a stepping ( Read more... )

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Dear Rachel ( Read more... )

I eat 3 meals a day. I eat 450 calories at each meal. I have one snack. It's 150 calories. My snack is an 'exposure' food. Meaning, you eat a healthy portion of a binge food with it sitting right in front of you ( Read more... )

I've been hospitalized for 11 days now. I don't really have the urge to purge, just the urge to binge. I'm tired, constipated, hurt, blah ( Read more... )

Today is Sunday, January 9, 2005. The time is 9:26 pm. I am typing at the computer in the UCLA library. The adults are allowed email access. I'm assuming once a week ( Read more... )

Bye everyone! Sorry to all my LJ friends if I didn't comment on your journal. versace_viken, your pictures are really beautiful! <333

Last night Brian came home. I missed him, especially at night. For some reason sleep is so much better when he's next to me.  I gave him a nice hug but this time it felt different. It wasn't warm or big. He hugged me like I was a "hi, bye'" kind of friend. Brian forgets the fact that I am his wife.

When Brian visits LA, he disattaches from me. Like ( Read more... )