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[nikkiremembered]

I was commenting on ana4athom 's journal about having dreams relating to your eating disorder. Last night I dreamt about me having anorexia. Brian and I were at a drum and bass club. I was dancing while Brian stayed off to the side chatting with some guy. I was thin, really thin. I could see my protruding hip bones jutting out above my black skirt. I felt

Comments

[mldrfan]

in my dreams i'm always holy-crapily thin and i LUV it!! :D

[nikkiremembered]

I know, me too. hey you're already thin. :D

[mldrfan]

lol thanks but sometimes i REALLY don't feel thin. i still feel like i'm living in my 220 lbs body, ya know? i worry that i'll never be happy. i say i'd luv to be 100 lbs and that's my goal...but what's next? will i feel satisfied or will i want more? i dunno.
lol sorry for babbling :P

[nikkiremembered]

I know what you mean *hugs* I used to weigh 190 lbs. I now weigh 140.Even though I've lost all that weight, I still feel 190. I honestly don't see the weight lose when I look at myself in the mirror.

I don't think we'll ever feel satisfied untill we can realize that our worthiness is measured by the number on the scale <3

[ana4athom]

I'm jealous...cuz my ana dreams are nightmares...I do well at living on lettuce and celery all day, then I take some ambien and vicodin or whatever I can find and casually drift away to sleep only to have nightmares that I lost all control and ate everything in sight and gained like 569 pounds within an hour! Finally I wake up, feel my protruding hip-bones, check my wrists and collar bones (btw, all of these bones feel so wonderful while lying flat in bed. They are even more protruding and comforting after such a fucking nightmare!)
lol...so be glad your ana dreams are good. Mine make me want to sob!
<3
Dori

[nikkiremembered]

Maybe your dream is telling you to not fear the urge of a b/p. We should just kick him or whoever, whatever in the ass. I want to feel my bones. I'll get there. <33