-
Tired of being depressed; Tired of being happy.
I feel very up and down lately and I don't really know why I think that is weird. I mean I am usually up and down on a constant basis and without change. I am depressed more than anything if that sounds surprising at all, a lot of things have been going on and I just cant seem to get anything in my life to go right. For starters I have been pretty ( Read more... ) -
What to do.
Oh my how the time goes, constantly moving faster and faster the older I am. The problems I have dont seem to be fading do to resolution, more like age is kind of just taking over for me. The kids of this world are becoming more and more my primary focus in life. Its like even if I do bad, or I am a complete failure. I can still motivate kids to do ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
hmmm how would i describe today, im not really sure. on one side, i feel completly absent from the world, i feel distant, and shut off from everyone. on the other hand though, i made people laugh, i made people smile, so really which is the lesser evil hear? i still feel as if im all alone though, people love me for the person they think they know ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
i feel so fat, and all people do is encourage me to be fatter, by telling me that im not. i think its really starting to sink in, that if i dont tell people how i feel, they will believe just about anything that i do tell them, only proving that no one can really see me for me. i am so alone, and maybe thats just how its gotta be. i dont know gods ( Read more... ) -
today
today was a pretty good day, woke up at about 9:30 to my alarm going off. lol was supposed to wake up at 10 so i could go with jesse's brother to get a new tire for my truck, needless to say that plan fell thru. i turned my alarm off and dident wake up tell around 11. but its ok because neither did he lol but we got everything settled and i got my ( Read more... ) -
today
i guess this is all i really have left. i know i havent posted on here in awhile, but everyone is tired of all my other posts everywhere else, so i figure why the hell not here its not like anyone i know reads this shit anyways. i miss the ol days, when things were easy and all the people i loved so dearly still loved me, but i was so wrapped up in ( Read more... ) -
my father
i dont know why but right now i really have the urge to see my dad. i know ive never really met him but when i think about it i feel as if he has always ben here by my side right from the very beggining. i dont understand why everytime i here the phrase "my dad" in my head it makes me want to cry. whats even more frustrating is the fact that i miss ( Read more... ) -
a lil bit of wierdness
hmm i dont know why im writing today out of all the days that i havent. i have ben sick for the last 2 days throwing up about every 30 minutes which is not a very pleasent feeling should you ever have to experience it for more than 24 hours straight. its really quite right now with christina at work and me at home. im really bored and ive watched ( Read more... ) -
my past fading
hey all i know i have not posted in awhile quite a bit has happened to me sense the last time i posted probably the roughest time in my life but now it is almost my birthday again i am going to be 19 and yet i feel sad. i am forgetting that feeling of being young i am closing that part of my life soon it will be gone and i will forget just like ( Read more... )