and just like that, i realized it was sunday. not saturday. damn. that really hurts.

i'm trying to get used to using my birth name again. it's been since i was seven, i think, that i've been using this legal last name, this moniker, this court and paper name, this adopted last name. and i can't wait to give it back. but i am not used to the name i had for the first six years of my life. i want to get used to it. it is my bloodline ( Read more... )

i could have passed it off. i gussied it all up, olive facial powder and patent leather. red straps and teeth. in the end i opted to destroy this spawn of mine. no one shall ever know the difference. it is in honor of this sacrifice that i enter these words. it is for the sake of the wind that i do not howl. it is with respect to the gravy that i ( Read more... )

how do i begin to tell you the difference in how i am living now?

( boy from the city, city from the boy )

breaking down the computer now. Uhaul truck outside. moving day.

see you on the other side.

well, we're supposed to move into the new apartment tonight. that was the plan at least. maybe we'll have to do it in the morning. i gots to check the Uhaul site. it would be nice to get it out of the way, stretch out in the new space, mademoiselle ( Read more... )

i used to love the day after. don't ask me why. i used to love feeling my body pull back together, miraculously heal. it made me feel strong, invincible, immortal. it made me appreciate the normal state of living, as i had such a recent comparison to feeling like hell ( Read more... )

i am counting on history. but she may leave me sitting here, alone, again.

am i hallucinating...or is jerry lewis talking about committing suicide because you're dealing with chronic pain? there is nothing funny about this at all. except that as dead serious as he is, he looks--for some odd reason--to be about 300 pounds. where the hell have i been?

his happy sounds angry.

so we launched our offensive on the city of the Fallujah. unconvinced that we could possibly be killing so many citizens, we made the swift determination that the hospital was in the hands of insurgents, engaged in releasing inflated casualty numbers. we declared their protection from the military null, and attacked the hospital. it is now in our ( Read more... )