Wind Farm

[ninja_cricket]

I wrote this story in the car on the way to Kelowna. It's the first time in a very long time that I have written a complete story that has you know, a beginning, middle, and end. characters and development. Plot and such things. So of course I won't write it all here in one installment. What good is a story if I tell you the ending? I mean... I

Comments

[obstaclecourse]

It's really scary and sad, but I really like the main character (maybe add some details about physical appearence?) and I want it to work out for them. Of course that's just me, but uh... your story was very powerful. Like, it actually left me with a sick feeling in my stomach. Whoof. You're brilliant.

[anonymous]

Gotta agree, that's some powerful begining ! We don't get explanations or feelings and just take facts right in the face; it creates feelings by itlself.

So how is it going to continue ? Well, as the violin and loneliness suggest there's probably going to be some sad music leading to an encounter. Maybe with the mill owner, maybe with mice if your windmills are there for grinding. Maybe with the spirit of wind if you go into fantasy but it doesn't seem this way. Or most probably you'll just lead the story to someplace unexpected... Let's read further !
G.

[artistic_lunacy]

I'm intrigued.
I agree with Liv...I'm not even sure what gender the main character is (although I'm assuming girl?)
I wanna read the rest!
Very nice.

[artistic_lunacy]

Same thing here about the unknown gender (even despite the hitch hiking incident, which remains believable in both cases)

[artistic_lunacy]

That's what I thought too...
The incident in the cafe leads to a bit more gender ambiguity as well, when Red is called a fag...
This leads us to believe the main character is definitely accepting of homosexuality, but- is it a man or a woman?

[artistic_lunacy]

In the cafe too, "prepared to make him eat his words" is another gender blender: it could be a man wanting to hit the youngster or a woman wanting to argue with him/slap him. Only Molly can tell (if she knows it, maybe it's part of the fun).

the gender. even I don't know.

[ninja_cricket]

The gender. ah yes. I was thinking of you Jess when I wrote this, remembering how you said you liked ambiguous characters. Would it benefit the story to specify the gender of the person? Or do you like it this way?

Re: the gender. even I don't know.

[ninja_cricket]

As for me, I prefer it unknown, or unknown up to just before the end maybe. It could be a twist in the plot, completely changing the point of view at the very end, coudn't it ?