"when people don't understand that aspect of me it makes me feel invisible"
I can't say for Japan because I've never lived there and been in the culture properly, but more and more people don't care what your gender-orientation is. People look at me and some assume I'm strait because of the ring I wear and some assume I'm gay because of the clothes I wear or the way I wear them (aparently having a cell phone in your front pocket makes you "look like a dyke"...?). If you know which way you are just assume that everyone else thinks your that way too. It may not be right, but it might help you feel more visible.
Good luck! And don't take it too hard. People aren't always thinking what you think their thinking.
Yeah, it probably is a good idea to try and not put too much stock into how other people are viewing me. Being comfortable as me is the most important thing, after all. Still, eliciting the reactions one hopes for can be very validating, so I'm still hopeful that I'll find ways to make my outer appearance match my inner appearance a little more faithfully.
You make a really good point about how ... inadequate and specious it is to have surface-level "requirements" for identities. I think you absolutely have the right to be visible in the ways you want to be visible, and I hope I can be supportive as you do that.
I will also be supportive of your wish to die in an ogre battle. XD
Haha, when I read your comment I thought, 'Wow, that makes my point sound a lot smarter than when I said it!' And you're always supporting me, just by being you. ^^
I also feel that my chances of dying in an ogre battle are much higher somehow with Sean in my life.
When I use the word 'genderqueer', I'm using it to mean something close to trans, but more having a gender identity that doesn't really fit into the gender binary. Since I feel like I have a foot in both camps, I don't know how much physical transition is possible as I'd probably feel around the same degree of discomfort as a man that I do as a woman. At least, that's how I feel about it right now, but it's still something I'm working through.
That you're worried about how to project your identity instead of how to hide it already speaks volumes about your "much-ness" (ten million points for that reference btw; it might have been my favorite idea in the movie). You may have taken a winding road to discovering your sexual and gender identities, but so far I've never seen you run from them, merely struggle with how to integrate them into your daily life, and that's something that's always impressed me about you. Queerness can be a dangerous flag to wave, one that all but forces you to be a controversy, and I've seen all too many people make themselves suffer by despising and hiding from their own queerness--me included
( ... )
You know, I feel that Johnny Depp's characters are often just the level of masculinity that I want to broadcast myself. They're male, but they're still quite feminine a lot of the time. And the Mad Hatter is also so dapper, though I don't think I'd want to rock the orange clown hair. ^^;
As for the infighting in the queer community, I feel like the books I've been reading recently have made me a lot more aware of just how many ways people can take issue with each other. But I feel like it's also making me more open-minded as a person. I might not understand things like the butch/femme dynamic, or the argument about whether or not transmen should be allowed in 'womyn's spaces' but knowing about these things and understanding that the people who care about them are feeling the same kinds of frustration that I feel goes a long way.
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I can't say for Japan because I've never lived there and been in the culture properly, but more and more people don't care what your gender-orientation is. People look at me and some assume I'm strait because of the ring I wear and some assume I'm gay because of the clothes I wear or the way I wear them (aparently having a cell phone in your front pocket makes you "look like a dyke"...?). If you know which way you are just assume that everyone else thinks your that way too. It may not be right, but it might help you feel more visible.
Good luck! And don't take it too hard. People aren't always thinking what you think their thinking.
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I will also be supportive of your wish to die in an ogre battle. XD
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I also feel that my chances of dying in an ogre battle are much higher somehow with Sean in my life.
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But I have no idea what you're talking about in terms of battling ogres.
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As for the infighting in the queer community, I feel like the books I've been reading recently have made me a lot more aware of just how many ways people can take issue with each other. But I feel like it's also making me more open-minded as a person. I might not understand things like the butch/femme dynamic, or the argument about whether or not transmen should be allowed in 'womyn's spaces' but knowing about these things and understanding that the people who care about them are feeling the same kinds of frustration that I feel goes a long way.
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