WHY do i do this to myself.

 His sins trickled from his lips, one by one, trickled in shameful drops from his soul festering and oozing like a sore, a squalid stream of vice. The last sins oozed forth, sluggish, filthy.

i am confused about what to do with my life.  i'm scared that on january 15th i'm going to be even more confused.
decisions are too much to deal with right now.
i'm quitting school mentally from now on.  i got into Asheville so at least someone wants me.
i'm done!  it's straight C's for me from here until june!

today:

-bake an apple pie
-bake a pecan pie
-make christmas list
-finally finish setting up mac
-work the worst shift ever
-miss my best friend in a beauty pageant cause i suck

I am so fucking tired of all of this bullshit.  I just want to fucking go to college, god dammit.

I just wrote the words "Renal Pelvis" 5 times in a row.
There's something wrong here.  I think my life needs a change.

I don't care what anyone else thinks about us anymore - not even my friends (sorry guys).  This feels different, and I know you're young and I'm young, but it is just different.  It's too difficult to explain - i know that's been said and done before, but it's true.  Sometimes I can't help but think, "Was I just waiting for that perfect, right guy ( Read more... )

after a full year, i'm still as happy and content as day one.
way to go!

i'm going to end up killing myself this year.
i just know it.

it's not even the third day of school yet, and i already feel spent.

i just signed up to look at college scholarships, but sadly those scholarships won't be much help if i don't get into any of the damn colleges i want to get into.  i won't get into chapel hill with my SAT score, and i can't afford four years of going to $30,000 schools in boston even if i did get into BU.  i guess greensboro or asheville will be my ( Read more... )