As soon as i woke up this morning i knew today was going to be strange yet still amazing! For some silly reason i always decide to set my alarm for like 5AM when i'm constantly going to sleep either around 1 or after. Yet i still expect to be able to wake up, luckily today i did decide to wake up before class which wasn't until 930. 715 wasn't  a ( Read more... )

its only 5:36 pm and i'm at it again, yet only a little earlier than usual! I tell myself i'm not going to drink that much before i go to this party for the evergreens but i'm pretty sure once the intoxicant is in my face, i most likely won't turn it down. I mean if you look at it from the perspective of most people...drinking before an evergreens ( Read more... )

i'm currently in one of those moods where i feel it is completely necessary to update this..but really what do i have to update ( Read more... )

I'm naked ( Read more... )

i was suppose to be accomplishing my project for a college application but that didn't really happen
instead i did this.


( Read more... )

to do list:
finish college applications.
finish taking pictures for new school.
get rid of old clothes that make my room a mess.
finish essays for college.
go to nyc.
start runnning again.
work more hours for money.
get shoes.
save for christmas gifts.
get classes.
save money for:
senior trip 
permit
car
prom
and a bunch of shit i will need at the end of the year.

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im really sad. really. ugh. i don't want to be here anymore. I need to be somewhere else. With other people i'm tired of most of my friends. whatever, if this is mean but i really am. ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.

im in one of those moodes where I don't really care what I write. okay.

i like him. i know that. and i know i want this to work. i really do.

i just need to fix this. and i need kristin i miss kristin. and i feel horrible im sorry. im not a good person.  i feel awful.

I feel horrible. I feel awful. I'm really mean. OKAY I GET IT. you can stop telling me that. I'll pretend that everything is perfect and that I'm okay. I'll stop caring about how I feel and only care about how everyone else feels. I'm tired of everything and everyone. I really don't care about anything anymore.

why do i exist. what the hell is wrong ( Read more... )