Suicide

[nolightwithin]

I have fought feeling like I wanted to end my life for years. Ever since I was a teenager. I had so much self-loathing that I felt I would be better off dead. I didn't actually try though, I was always too afraid to hurt myself, too afraid of the pain, too afraid of succeeding. I thought that I would go to hell and that I would miss out on

Comments

[nightsmyst]

wow! thank you so much for sharing. I know that you said you were a bit scared of meeting in person. I am too. I can hold off for a bit if you'd like. I'm very shy in person anyway. My former best friend was from LJ...I finally met her in person last Sept. We were both so scared, I didn't know until I had read a post she had written and had under private while I was out there.

We would plan meetings and then back out of them, finally we were honest and said that we were both nervous that they other would not like each other. You see, online we were so similar, that we called each other "moonsisters" When she hurt, I would feel it, without knowing what was going on. When I would shut myself off from the world, she would write and ask to come in.

It was strange how close we were without ever meeting face to face. It scared both of our husbands.

We don't have that anymoreI haven't really talked with her since I met her. Maybe I disappointed her. Or maybe her illness has (she is dying) progressed and she is shutting

[nolightwithin]

Thank you so much for sharing YOUR thoughts! You know, I've had a couple of friendships with two of my best friends that were so close that they bothered our husbands too! Well, mine was bugged and I think one of the others hubbs was too, my other friend (she is on LJ, but we met in person first, she turned me on to LJ) her husband lets her do whatever she wants, so I don't think he was bothered