I've not been sleeping well. I'm speaking of 4 hours a night if I manage to sleep early and not wake early (which seems impossible)

It's starting to take it's toll. Flashes of light, shades and half seen objects from the half dead eyes conspire to shake my spine with momentary hallucinations. I must find a way to break this trend.

Sleep and the lack of it ...or perhaps the mind bending distortions that have become sleep of late are on the mind to be written about.

The irony is that i write this on the verge of such a desire and fear that it will lead to another night of fail

I am remembering how to talk and laugh and feel the echos of old love like favorite cds rather than condemnation ( Read more... )

Stoicism. I'm finding that more and more of the things that I love and treasure as well as those bits of new life that make it past the thickening wall of age do so ( Read more... )

I applied for another job within this company o' mine. It seems a better fit, but if it's a pay cut... I'm not sure if can survive it. I'm just not sure how much longer I can wear the hair shirt of calls back to back for 10 hours a day ( Read more... )

Today is another day in which I just remember or more aptly try to not remember and end up failing to do so. Dreams and idle thoughts summon up the ghosts of the past. The ghosts summon half finished conversations that will never have an end ( Read more... )

The swells of thought and potential , proverbial, penning of life has become something fraught with frustration and performance anxiety. The sadness of this is the people whom I might have once interacted with and shared the nearly day to day historical comparison have most likely left my realm of interaction. It might seem conceited, but writing ( Read more... )

sometimes the gentle hours spent sharing words is the best mint altering experience we could have. The truthful exchange is an intimacy that is hard to express in non-sexual terms, but perhaps better than all of that since thoes can lead to one ... or more socreaicraly lead to a glorious bit of talk

The secrets and silent parts that have been waiting for the sublet ear, keen to ken the kind and contrary words we save up ( Read more... )

Who is still reading, wondering, etc. let me know. I have words, but I'd hate to spray them into a void