The things I can change, i try ( Read more... )

2009-2010 > A combination of meeting the right /wrong girl in a different time zone. Queue sleep schedule fucked and erratic work performance. Meet girl, like girl, love girl, find out girl is still involved...find girl distant, find girl talking to other dudes > drink ( Read more... )

It's not often
It could be an infection or just the excessive response I have to some things.

I've recently been coughing coughing blood/spitting it.

Again it's not often, but it scares the shit out of me.

Which has also led to blood loss.

I am a mess

Fuck

The collective of weight of having kept words cramped up in my head for so long is astounding ( Read more... )

I have apparently been too long away from the mundane life. Statements that that amount to " I got a job!..Imma go spend x money" make me consider just halting all contact with the world and finding one of those cave studies and living there ( Read more... )

The Angry has been strong in me ..for the last few years.
The struggle for an ability to go to sleep without grinding teeth ..is constant and the methods I've used to defeat it (Alcohol, not sleeping) are stop gaps stretch too far.

Now I've had others burdens layered on those old memories finally shushing into ash and.. the pyre burns again.Fuck

Disturbed people do disturbed and confusing and illogical things. We know that are a gratuitous numbers on the streets, behind bars, in private and public homes ( Read more... )

I'm starting to wonder when I lost my voice. I am afraid that I'm coming to the conclusion that it was a need/desire ration. I post the proper bits of myself and no one responds then there is no incentive to post again. That might be very self centered ... but it's a very Pavlovian way to approach it when I look at my history ( Read more... )

"I just remember you having some amazing thoughts and a gifted way in putting them into words (kind of logic put poetically). I always wondered if writing would become a special outlet of expression for you ( Read more... )

The hours seem to be thinning. I'm not sure if it's a matter of life becoming peasant gruel thin or age. I also fear that it is the future that age and memory prepares us for that as we have experienced life the repeats have less savor. I need to spend more brain time on this, but those of ou who still read..what do you think? Does the newness ever ( Read more... )