Fire

[goofydelinquent]

This is just a little experiment: wanted to try and make a tanka but I'm not sure if qualifies as one (theme/content-wise or what).  Also, I just wanted to play around with the duality of fire :D (I think I'll make another longer poem on this one)

Dancing in the wind
The flame is so beautiful
With shape uncertain
And it destroys my rice field
Ablaze

Comments

[miir]

I thiiiiink tanka usually have... okay, I'm not sure if I'm phrasing this right but... they're more "noun-ish" than other forms of poetry (Japanese poetry in general, after all, is noun-ish) in that most pieces focus on just one image or moment in time then expand on it (or sharpen it, or elaborate on it, or whatever). Uh, did that make sense? Basically you start from a concept or image or event, then illustrate it; the poetic equivalent of a painting or photograph instead of a movie.

I'm sorry if it's not clear T_T;; I'll try to clarify it when I'm more awake.

On the poem -- the duality is portrayed well, I think. The words result in vivid images and the images themselves are powerful. I like how the contrasting concepts of "dance" and "fury" frame this piece, with the uncertainty in the middle, as if it's a transition. Well done. ^^

[yasashiikaze]

Ooh, you're right. I didn't notice that...
O__o (needs sleep)

[ronin_vagabond]

what's a tanka anyways? i thought it was nice. FIEEEER. :))

[goofydelinquent]

:)) The first time I heard 'tanka', I thought it was a Japanese dance :P

:D