so:
here's what I've been doing wrong:
I've been thinking about leaving as if I were dying:
I have to accomplish this before I go
I need to talk to so-and-so before I go
I won't be able to do such-and-such after I've gone
I wish I could see x one last time
This will be the Very Last Time I get to do zand so on. and it's been killing me, the
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