It takes 42 muscles to frown

it takes 23 muscles to smile

but it only take 4 muscles to extend your arm and  punch whoever is annoying you

Growing old is mandatory...............growing up is optional

I said after last wednesday that if i had another drink pigs would fly

now all I hear on the TV is that swine flu

oh well...

I tried to phone the swine flu helpline

but all i got was crackling

ok, i know it was a customer, but i can only take so much egocentric whining and requests for computers when i am there to do a specific job before the sarcasm cut in...

norm standing on table pulling wires through the ceiling

customer: are you busy right now?

norm: no I'm pretending to be a light fitting!

what did he expect?

the arrogant , pushy 17 year got a shock today when he sauntered into my workshop as i was talking to 3 students

"  whats poppin", he said, interupting me

your zits", I replied and told him to wait outside

normally i wouldn't be so nasty but this one is trouble.

when you come to the end of a tub of 'hundreds and thousands' (sprinkles) do they become tens and hundreds?

strange what means something to a person ( Read more... )

when you buy a washing machine you weigh up all the pros and cons then buy an efficient model that gets its water from a single cold feed which it then heats up ( Read more... )

story of my life

one of my colleagues came up to me today and asked if I fancied a hump...

then passed me her heavy bag and said i could hump it up to the metro for her