Clearly, the following little diatribes are going to be ones where I try to explain the oddity of the universe itself. Or at least, the universe of what one would call 'fanfiction writers
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I agree with Sly, you've been lucky to be Mary-Sue free. Also, with your fic, it's just ONE person with you. Not... well. *cough* Multple people. Simultaniously.
Countcherblessings. I've already seen Jack/Will/Elizabeth. And even one Jack/Will/MarySue, which made me cry.
This is quite possibly the most disturbing thing I have ever heard, Miss Laurie. You mean people actually write fanfiction where Jack Sparrow, and William Turner, and Elizabeth ...
Together?
*Is the Commodore turning crimson. It's possible.*
Miss Swann is an upstanding woman, and as she has stated before, her heart belongs in one place. I do not think she would sully herself with such ...tawdry affairs.
I also think far more highly of Mr. Turner than that. He would rather slit his own throat than NOT take care of the things that are precious to him. He is a man who keeps his promises.
As for Jack Sparrow ... no. No. He is a pirate, but even he wouldn't think of sundering apart what God has brought together.
*pulls at his collar* Beyond the ... complexity that would involve, for all three people. Ahem.
As one of your more ... ahem, ardent ... supporters, Commodore, I am as frightened as you are. I agree with the previous advice: just don't think about it.
To think about it, for me, considering my much-maligned weakness for you, would just drive me crazy.
Greetings and best wishes from your friends at MI-5. :)
I am attempting not to, Miss. It is sage advice, and it is not good to let one's mind dwell on such things.
Especially the sudden influx of female pirates on the ocean. Most disturbing. I believe women capable of everything (after all, a woman has kidnapped me!), however the thought of them condoning the harm of other women and children frankly makes my blood chill.
Greetings and Salutations, of course to you of MI-5. It is an honor to speak to such esteemable company. *bows, hat in hand*
Good day, Commodore sir. I hope you do not mind the opinions of one commoner, though she be a bit uncommon. As such, I must say that I personally despise the - thing - known as 'slash'. There are many who do, but who are often silent on the matter, fearful of being ridiculed, ect. As for the phenomenon known as 'Mary Sue', I am more inclined to be forgiving towards it, in some circumstances. After all, there are many lonely ladies in Port Royal. Should these lonely ladies put pen to paper to spill out the secret wishes of their hearts, well, who's to blame them? The problem with 'Mary Sue' is usually her lack of quality, on all fronts. Of course, anyone with a modicum of intelligence can plainly see that you prefer the fairer sex, and that many of the fairer sex prefer you, if I may be so bold. It is when others use their own preferences that bad fanfiction happens. Stick to the canon, I say! *curtsies*
Madam, I thank you for your time in responding, and shall do so with respectful inclinations in return.
I do sympathize with the plight of these ladies (as long as they are not pirates!), and may point out to them that there are many fine Royal Navy and Army officers and soldiers who are of marrying age. A few recommendations I can make are of course my second, Gillette, and the esteemable Mr. Bush, who despite his sympathies towards Sparrow on any given occasion is still a good man.
As for these 'slash' writers, well. From what I have read of most of them, those with a plot seem to at least have some redeemable qualities. Such as, they have one. Although I have never noticed any inclinations in the area of men for myself, I think the better stories in this genre have little to do with whom is sleeping with whom, but where one's heart lies.
To them I say, 'Huzzah', no matter whom I am ... paired with. But more on that later.
I see that we are East and West on this matter of 'slash', good Commodore. Ah well, so it goes. Of course you are correct, many of your officers are charming and handsome lads. However, there's only *one* Commodore. And though I be an oddling, I fully assure you I am no pirate, quite the opposite in fact.
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My research is going to have to go further, obviously. *murmur*
Yes, who is this 'Mary Sue' everyone keeps speaking of? I see quite a few Esmerelda's, and some Ashleys, but they're all chasing after Jack Sparrow.
...and why are they all pirates? I had no idea there were so many female pirates in the Caribbean.
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Countcherblessings. I've already seen Jack/Will/Elizabeth. And even one Jack/Will/MarySue, which made me cry.
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Together?
*Is the Commodore turning crimson. It's possible.*
Miss Swann is an upstanding woman, and as she has stated before, her heart belongs in one place. I do not think she would sully herself with such ...tawdry affairs.
I also think far more highly of Mr. Turner than that. He would rather slit his own throat than NOT take care of the things that are precious to him.
He is a man who keeps his promises.
As for Jack Sparrow ... no. No. He is a pirate, but even he wouldn't think of sundering apart what God has brought together.
*pulls at his collar* Beyond the ... complexity that would involve, for all three people. Ahem.
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Matter of fact, I am certain of it.
What with all that pretty strumpet fawning at him, why WOULD he want to bed you?
Silly fangirls. Silly, silly fangirls.
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*Jaw tightens, and the eyes narrow*
Well, it's not like I'm asking him to BED me in the first place. He couldn't get me to bed him even if he could talk the moon from the damned sky.
*Leans over to hear his 'secretary's's whisper* Yes. QUITE right, Miss Wren. I am TOO damned sexy for him anyways.
*another whisper* YES! Exactly. In FACT, I'd like to see him try it ... waitamoment.
*Eyes Miss Wren. Miss Wren whistles innocuously, and edges away slooooowly*
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To think about it, for me, considering my much-maligned weakness for you, would just drive me crazy.
Greetings and best wishes from your friends at MI-5. :)
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Especially the sudden influx of female pirates on the ocean. Most disturbing. I believe women capable of everything (after all, a woman has kidnapped me!), however the thought of them condoning the harm of other women and children frankly makes my blood chill.
Greetings and Salutations, of course to you of MI-5. It is an honor to speak to such esteemable company. *bows, hat in hand*
Reply
Of course, anyone with a modicum of intelligence can plainly see that you prefer the fairer sex, and that many of the fairer sex prefer you, if I may be so bold. It is when others use their own preferences that bad fanfiction happens. Stick to the canon, I say! *curtsies*
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I do sympathize with the plight of these ladies (as long as they are not pirates!), and may point out to them that there are many fine Royal Navy and Army officers and soldiers who are of marrying age. A few recommendations I can make are of course my second, Gillette, and the esteemable Mr. Bush, who despite his sympathies towards Sparrow on any given occasion is still a good man.
As for these 'slash' writers, well. From what I have read of most of them, those with a plot seem to at least have some redeemable qualities. Such as, they have one. Although I have never noticed any inclinations in the area of men for myself, I think the better stories in this genre have little to do with whom is sleeping with whom, but where one's heart lies.
To them I say, 'Huzzah', no matter whom I am ... paired with. But more on that later.
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Of course you are correct, many of your officers are charming and handsome lads. However, there's only *one* Commodore.
And though I be an oddling, I fully assure you I am no pirate, quite the opposite in fact.
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