She thought she could obscure it from me.

She thought I would not catch her in the act of it.

She thought I would be distracted enough by watching 'Master and Commander', a ...moo-vay about the His Majesty's Navy not to notice her checking her ee-lact-tron-nak mail.

She, dear ladies and gentlemen, was wrong.

My secretary ... is a slash writer ( Read more... )

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...would be a GRAVE UNDERSTATMENT.

Yes. I have returned. Research material in hand, and in mind, I've come to defend my honor against the GROSS and HURTFUl accusations on my character and my honor. I would gladly meet any of the writers of this ... absolute filth on any field of battle they so may choose, but as it stands I shall take the pen and ( Read more... )

Norrington Says - What happened to a good old fashioned Huzzah?

My only REAL question is, why would I only have a stick?

Most perturbing.

Yours respectfully in captivity,

Commodore J. Norrington

Clearly, the following little diatribes are going to be ones where I try to explain the oddity of the universe itself. Or at least, the universe of what one would call 'fanfiction writers ( Read more... )

I have been asked, and therefore shall dully report, on a subject that seems to be of some interest to you out there. Apparently everyone knows how Jack Sparrow feels about the illfamed Captain Barbossa, but many of you have asked how I myself see the formerly of this world pirate.

So I grant to you - Norrington Says ...Barbossa the Bloody Bastard ( Read more... )

As part of my weird enslavement ... that is what I am calling this odd kidnapping by my 'secretary' of all people, I have been given access to apparently state my opinion on just about whatever I want ( Read more... )

Well, it was inevitable, I suppose.

However, where Sparrow goes, I must chase after.

At least I know where the bloody pirate IS.