002 - Official Food Rationer Jaye Reporting For Duty!

[notababysaver]

Looks like I'm in charge of the food from now on. The psychologist said so, so don't go questioning my authority. My authority is very unquestionable! And I'll be sleeping in the kitchen with one eye open, so nobody try any funny stuff in the middle of the night

Comments

[notababysaver]

It's a riddle, genius. You have to think about it.

The monkey currently has no thoughts one way or the other on you, Harv, so consider your name on my list of potential candidates.

[notababysaver]

Honestly, I have no idea. I was just trying to think of something to make people chase their own tails so they wouldn't bother me.

My sister told it to me once, and nothing out of her mouth makes any sense, so you might want to just forget about it before you hurt yourself.

[tehpeoplespoet]

This is utterly ridiculous- you're saying if I happen to be really hungry I have to permission from you to eat? And then you dictate how much I can consume? Ha! Forget that! I don't recall anyone electing you the new dining hall junta leader!

Or did you take over in some sort of coup? Oh, yes, I'm sure the Admiral and other wardens will be very pleased by that! Pathetic!

[notababysaver]

The lady with all the fancy degrees elected me! And if you've got a problem with it, you can suck it.

[tehpeoplespoet]

Which lady with fancy degrees? Not the same lady in charge of my marriage's annulment, I hope! As far as I'm concerned those "fancy degrees" are just another way of saying "lies" and "deception"!

And besides- one person can't "elect" you- the MASSES have to elect you! Really, then, it wasn't an election at all, but more fascist politics that are so popular on this bloody barge! God!

[notababysaver]

Oh yeah. I'm a fascist.

Now go sit in the corner and think about George Orwell's 1944 treatise on fascism and the fact that you've made me dredge up stuff I learned in school for the third time today, or I'll stick your ass in an oven and cremate you alive.

hai thar girlie

[1st4earthrealm]

I'm not exactly sure that this is the best way to deal with this apparent "food shortage", but if you need any help, please let me know. I can lend you a hand.

o hai mah bff4eva

[notababysaver]

Thanks. There's a list somewhere. I'll put your name on it if I can figure out where the hell I put it...

[stayandgloat]

First the three men have a death match. The winner eats one of his comrades to solve the starvation problem, then throws the remaining body over the side. With only one man left, the boat becomes lighter, and with the lighter the remaining man can ignite the cigarette and smoke it at his leisure.

[notababysaver]

Good answer. You win a prize.

Oh for the love of all that is holy...this is going to be worse than the last time.

[thatlibbychick]

Um...Jaye? This isn't exactly what I had in mind...people can take food when they're hungry. Just make sure people aren't hoarding it away, you know, trying to create a black market later on? I think you've gone a little overboard...

Jaye tends to make things worse.

[notababysaver]

Hey, I said nothing about depriving the starving masses! I'm just being organized and on top of things!

WWHD: What Would Hurley Do?

[thatlibbychick]

That's good. Organization if good. But if people are hungry, then let them take food, please? If you lock everything away like this in every situation, people are going to form a group to force their way in. That will make things far worse.

Even if it doesn't come to that, it could lead to people developing complexes about eating...so just be fair. Don't get power-hungry.

[notababysaver]

I'm putting it all in one place so I can keep an eye on it! You were the one who wanted somebody to ration it and keep it safe from thieving thieves who thieve! You're the one who wanted me to protect the food, lady!

I'll give it to people when they want it, but this can't be a free-for-all or the flesh-eating portion of the program will come a lot quicker than any of us wants it to!