i started therapy last week. i was so excited for that first session and now i am so torn because it was wonderful. god it was so wonderful. unfortunately, it is also quite expensive. i am thinking about getting a part time job on the side, i wouldn't mind, i just don't know what type of job i would get. i am kind of open to anything except weirdly ( Read more... )

today i walked on a trail up in the hollywood hills, at the end was a bench that you had to climb up to, a fact which made it even more fun to sit on. as i sat there and looked out, i could see it all. i could see downtown, hollywood, santa monica, and the water. it was a strange feeling to be so removed from it and yet so in it. i guess somewhat ( Read more... )

i think i need to spend more time by myself, i think this because i have been feeling so exhausted lately. the kind of tired where i feel like i just haven't truly been able to breathe. on the positive side diana and i have had extremely memorable and important moments in the past few weeks. so though i wouldn't trade it, i just feel tired. i feel ( Read more... )

life without a cell phone or a landline or internet in the house. what'll this be like? maybe it is God opening the door for me to truly apply myself and study.

i think i'll give it a go.

to those who might have other wise called, write me a letter? d, i'll just meet you in the living room with the keeks.

i read his blog tonite. i torture myself i know it. we wanted the same things, so it really just was me? i am so tired of wanting this. i look around me at all the perfectly normal people that are in relationships and i then i look at myself, i think i am relatively normal. i guess i don't so much mind be on my own, i could just go without the up ( Read more... )

while on myspace, i read this post from a girl who at one time the guy i was "dating", and i use that term very loosely, loved more that he loved himself, which is impressive. anyway, everytime i looked at her i thought, he will just never look at me that way... and he didn't, but not the point of this post. so, as i creepily read her post and ( Read more... )

today is saturday at 8:09 pacific and 10:09 central standard. i think that Alina would be a beautiful name for a little and it was my idea first. you big fat liar. so there.

on a break from studying, which has consumed me at this point, i took time to read some of kimma's journal from spain as mine has long since been erased. run on sentance, anyway. i laughed more and smiled more and felt more warm inside than i have in days, weeks, perhaps months. over the past week i had moments of comfort and closeness (though ( Read more... )

May 15, 2006 ( Read more... )

watched maria full of grace with my mom tonite, i wish i didn't need the subtitles either. great movie, not the most uplifting, but i really appreciated it ( Read more... )