[JE] First Times and Curious Crimes
Title: First Times and Curious Crimes
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Pairing: Slight hints of Kame/Jin
Rating: PG
Genre: Kind of AU
Word count: 7,890
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit
Summary: Jin returns from the US with a couple more piercings and a story to tell, Kame's got a story he'd rather forget, and a photographer wants them both to star in a story that hits a little too close to home.
A/N: This is a sequel to Be Your Own Secret Girlfriend and Even Butterflies Dress For Dinner and will make no sense at all if you haven't read those two first.
First Times and Curious Crimes
Koki doesn't expect to hear much from Jin while he's touring in America. They exchange the occasional email but mostly, Jin sends a message to either Kame or Nakamaru and expects them to pass it around if there's any real news - not that there's much. Once he sends a picture of himself with the Statue of Liberty; Nakamaru responds with a picture of Jin as the Statue of Liberty.
That's why the last thing Koki expects to see is an email from Jin asking if they can talk on Skype. He's in California right now; because of the time difference Koki grudgingly agrees to sacrifice part of his precious day off so that Jin doesn't have to be up at the crack of dawn. It's lunchtime in Japan when they meet on-line. Koki settles down in front of his laptop with a bowl of gyudon, assuming that Jin will be late as always.
He's actually on time for once; Koki doesn't make it through more than a mouthful of lunch before he pops up. The connection's not great and neither's the webcam, but it's clear enough to see Jin's looking well, slightly more tanned than before and missing the dark rings under his eyes that usually mean he's exhausted and stressed out.
Jin spies the bowl immediately. "Send me some of your lunch?"
"Get your own," Koki says. "You can't tell me there are no decent Japanese restaurants in the entire state."
"It's not the same."
"You didn't ask me to meet you just because you're homesick for Japanese food, did you? Because there are websites for that."
"It's not that." Jin licks his lips nervously. "Um...I wanted to ask you something. It's kind of personal."
Koki picks up another mouthful of beef with his chopsticks and chews it slowly, deliberately keeping Jin waiting. It's kind of fun to watch him squirm. Eventually he says, "Try me."
"Kame said you...uh...you'd dated someone...like me?"
So that's what this is about. Koki doesn't even remember mentioning it to Kame, but maybe he read it in a tabloid. After all, that's how Koki found out about it himself.
"Not so much dated as 'hung out at cabaret clubs and slept with a few times'," he says. "And I wouldn't say she was much like you. I didn't even know she used to be male till I read about it on-line."
"You slept with her and you didn't know?" Jin clearly doesn't believe him at all. "Then what did you-"
"No details," Koki rushes to interrupt him. "I don't kiss and tell."
"Oh yes you do," Jin says. "Otherwise, explain 'Make U Wet'."
Koki smirks. "I would've thought the guy who wrote 'Lovejuice' would know all about it, but I guess I can give you a quick lesson. You see, Jin, when girls get turned on-"
"I know what happens!" Jin's tan is looking a little pink now. "I'm not asking you what you got up to in bed. But she didn't tell you, right? And you really didn't know?"
"She'd had surgery." Koki realises he's fiddling with his chopsticks and sets them down before he gets food all over his keyboard. "There wasn't anything to tell me she'd ever been anything but a girl. I only found out afterwards."
"And...did it matter?"
"It was over by then. We had fun but it wasn't really going anywhere, and we sort of dropped out of contact. It's not like I can do anything about the past."
"Would you if you could? Did you mind that she was actually a guy?"
"That's my point, Jin - she wasn't a guy." Koki thinks finishing lunch might have to wait. Jin's giving him a headache. "She identified completely as a girl, had the change registered legally and everything. But you're not like that, unless America's changed your mind."
"It hasn't," Jin says firmly. "I'm not interested in having anything cut off."
"Then I don't see how this relates to you. No one's likely to mistake you for a girl - not for long, anyway, and definitely not once the clothes come off. Anyone who dates you can see exactly what they're getting."
"But not all of what they're getting," Jin says, and Koki mentally kicks himself for misunderstanding.
"I didn't feel betrayed, or anything like that," he says slowly, trying to replay the memories in his mind. "Just surprised. I guess she didn't tell me because she didn't think there was anything to tell. She wasn't hiding anything from me."
Jin's face falls. "And I'd always be hiding something."
"Are you seeing someone right now?" Koki wants to tease him about blonde American girls but doesn't have the heart, not when Jin's so obviously unsure of himself.
"No; I haven't for ages. I still don't know what to say."
"Be upfront about it," Koki advises. "If it's worrying you enough that you feel you have to tell them, you should do it before things get too serious. Don't drive yourself crazy worrying about keeping secrets. It's better to be embarrassed than hurt, right?"
They've suffered any number of embarrassments in the name of work and that makes Jin smile. "Definitely."
Koki can tell there's something else, something he's not saying, but it's no use to pry. He'd much rather see Jin smiling and relaxed than fretting over a problem for which there's no identifiable solution. Going solo has done interesting things for him, most of them good, but Koki still worries about him being out there by himself, no matter how supportive his crew are. Jin's always been the one they've had to watch over the most, and that hasn't changed just because they're no longer working together.
The conversation ends on a happy note when Sakura jumps up on the table to investigate the gyudon and Jin suddenly gets a faceful of dog on the webcam.
-----
There's TV coverage of Jin's American tour, of course. Kame watches the news in the morning, Japanese voices interspersed with clips of English songs, and sees Jin shine like the star he is.
It's not Kame's job to fetch stars from the airport so when Jin returns home, it's a few days before their paths cross. News reports won't tell Kame how things went in America - not the things that count, anyway - but the butterfly brooch looks good on the big screen, pinned to Jin's jacket, as bright as his smile.
The effects of jet-lag are still evident as Jin stands yawning outside Kame's front door. That's not the only thing that's plain to see. A pair of brand new gold studs wink from his earlobes.
"You got your ears done again!" Kame steps back so Jin can let himself in.
"By a professional, this time. It's a miracle we didn't all land up in hospital before!"
"It could've been worse," Kame says, recalling the time he, Jin and Yamapi decided to pierce each other's ears. "We could've tried tattoos."
"If we had, we probably wouldn't be here today," Jin says, deadpan. "And KAT-TUN would just be T-TUN."
"In which case we could give up all hope of anyone ever pronouncing it correctly."
Jin laughs and drops down on the couch, crossing his legs on the cushion and leaning back against the arm. Kame does the same at the other end so they can talk to each other without having to turn. Despite the air conditioning it's still warm, making them too lazy to want to move much. Kame wouldn't even bother with clothes if not for the fact that he doesn't usually answer the door in his underwear. Not that he and Jin have anything the other hasn't seen. They've shared too many rooms for that.
"The earrings look nice," he says. "How long till you can change them?"
"Another three weeks. I figure if I wear two in one and one in the other, it won't look too weird?"
"Having multiple earrings seems to work for Koki," Kame says. "You're not going to get your tongue done as well, are you?"
Jin looks horrified. "It was bad enough getting my ears done. You know how I feel about pain, Kame."
"Point taken."
They all have to put themselves through a certain amount of pain for work, and sometimes it leaves its mark forever. Kame knows Jin's waist still bothers him sometimes, and Junno's knee will never be quite the same.
Right now, however, Jin appears to be pain-free, comfortable in his faded denim cut-offs and black-and-white shirt, completely chilled out. Performing's good for him, for all that he gets so nervous every time he steps on the stage. Kame understands only too well the high that comes from doing what you love. That they get paid to do it is an added bonus.
"So, other than the ears, how did things go?" Kame has to clear his throat before he speaks again and decides a drink is required. He grabs a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and hands one to Jin as he sits back down. "The shows looked like fun on the news."
Jin's smile is equal parts nostalgia and glee. "I want to do it all again. I love performing in Japan, too, but Japanese audiences don't move much and I want everyone to dance! They do in America. And if I stop singing for a minute they fill in the gaps. The feeling is completely different."
His eyes are starry and Kame grins. "You sound like you're in love."
Jin's always been in love with the West, with America in particular. Tying him down to one country would just be cruel. It suits him best to be a citizen of the world, taking his international party as far as it will go, and as long as he remembers to come home to Japan sometimes, Kame's content with that.
"I am - a little bit," Jin admits. "But it makes me happy."
"I can see that." Kame raises his bottle to tap against Jin's, the plastic clacking rather than clinking as they drink a toast.
Jin tells him about getting recognised in New York and signing autographs for a couple of girls who'd flown in from Florida, about stumbling over his Japanese even more than usual after spending so long speaking nothing but English, about the show in San Francisco where a brief power surge left him singing 'A Page' acappella and without a microphone.
"The crowd loved it - they practically sang the whole thing for me."
"Good thing it didn't happen during 'Paparats'," Kame says.
It's nice listening to Jin talk so animatedly about it all. Sometimes it feels like if Jin's happy, the whole world's happy - at least, it does to Kame.
What Jin doesn't mention is whether or not he made good on his intention to experiment a little while in America, and there's no tactful way to ask him about it. However, as skilled as Kame has grown at charming people, he's still basically the same blunt, tactless boy he was half a lifetime ago, and he and Jin both find it easier to deal with people who speak their minds honestly.
So he comes right out with it and asks, "Did you dress up and go out at all while you were there?"
"Not much. We were all together most of the time so I didn't want to do anything...overt. And it was really hot, so I just dressed casual. I did go out by myself one night, though."
"And?"
"I just went to a club where I knew none of my friends would be. Had a few drinks, danced for a while, nothing exciting."
Kame would leave it at that except that Jin looks nervous, which means something did happen and it'll take a crowbar to get it out of him.
"I think we have different definitions of 'exciting'. What were you wearing?"
"Nothing outrageous." Jin scratches his neck; Kame notices his nails are suspiciously shiny. Clear nail polish, maybe. "Black cotton trousers, these sandals, that white shirt with the sparkly purple hearts."
"Hair?"
"Down."
"Make-up?"
Jin nods. "I must've checked myself in the mirror half a dozen times before I left my hotel room. I don't think I looked...bad?"
"I'm sure you looked fine." Kame's trying to sound reassuring, to encourage Jin to tell him the rest of it, but it seems to have a discomforting effect. He reaches out and gives Jin's shoulder a quick, gentle squeeze. "Hey. whatever it is, tell me. I promise not to laugh even if you ended up dancing on the tables in your underwear."
"I didn't drink that much," Jin says. "And isn't that more your area of expertise?"
Kame really wishes he could remember as much as everyone else seems to about his twenty-fifth birthday party. "Let's leave me out of it, shall we?"
Jin does. "It was pretty dark in there - the lights were weird, so it was hard to see people's faces. I got talking with a couple of girls at the bar, and then we started dancing together, and maybe that's why..."
"That's why...?"
"Why this guy bought me a drink."
Kame has to press his lips together to keep his promise not to laugh. He knows full well Jin's been bought drinks by strange men before - it happens to all of them at industry parties. But those are usually men interested in persuading them to do some work, to lend their names and faces to sell products.
Jin's glaring at him now. Kame gulps down the laughter and schools his features into solemnity. "Maybe he was just being friendly to the poor lonely foreigner?"
"It was a little more than that."
Intriguing. "Did you talk to him?"
"For a while. He said he was a DJ; we talked about music, mostly. And when we weren't talking we danced."
Kame blinks. "I thought your days of dancing with men were left behind with Shounen Club."
"It's not like we were waltzing or anything. Everyone danced in groups, it was that kind of place. He wasn't bad." There's a smug note in Jin's voice suggesting that the end of his sentence is actually, "but not as good as me."
"And how many drinks did you let him buy you?"
"I don't...I don't know. Too many." Kame doesn't like the sound of this, and Jin's looking anywhere except into his eyes. "He drank a lot too. He must've done, or he wouldn't have kissed me."
Jealousy flares somewhere deep in Kame's chest and he suppresses it, because that's the last thing Jin needs to hear right now. This one hits a little too close to home.
"Most people wouldn't need to be drunk to kiss you," he says quietly.
Jin either misses the implications entirely or chooses to ignore them. "Well, this one was."
Kame struggles to keep his voice casual. "Did you kiss him back?"
"Umm..." Jin's tan helps to conceal his blush but can't hide it entirely. "I...uh..."
"You did."
"A little bit." Jin holds his thumb and forefinger a centimentre apart. "I haven't kissed anyone in ages, Kame. It felt good and I went with it, that's all. I told you we'd both been drinking."
Kame sighs. "You drank enough to make out with some strange guy in a club. I told you to be careful, Jin."
"We weren't-" Jin stops, thinks about it and tries again. "It didn't last long. When he broke it off long enough to suggest we go somewhere else, I realised what I was doing, mumbled something about having a boyfriend and ran out. I didn't stop till I got back to my hotel. I tried to wash it off - all of it."
Not again. Kame finds himself looking at Jin's bare arms for any signs of abrasion but sees none. "Did you-" he begins, and Jin realises instantly what he's asking.
"No." He rubs his hands lightly over his arms, grimacing. "I didn't have anything. And the hot water didn't get much above lukewarm. I'm trying...I'm trying not to feel like that anymore. I know it doesn't help. But...but sometimes I still want to make it all go away and just be the person I thought I was going to be."
"The person you turned out to be is better," Kame says, meaning every word. He tries an encouraging smile. "Because he's grown so much."
"It doesn't feel like I've grown at all, sometimes." Jin draws his legs up in front of him, resting his chin on his knees and locking his hands around his ankles. "Whenever I think I'm getting somewhere I go and do something stupid and knock myself back like that."
Kame tries to make light of it. "So you ended up kissing a man in a club. It's not a big deal."
"Maybe not for you - you like men!"
"Yes," Kame conceded, "but that doesn't mean I like all men any more than you like all women. You kissed someone you don't have any feelings for. Doesn't matter about their gender - if you don't have any kind of feelings for them, it can't go anywhere. You did the right thing by leaving."
His words appear to be falling on deaf ears. Jin buries his head in his knees, hiding his eyes under his hair, his relaxed mood quite gone. Kame's not sure why, though. Jin's clearly not happy about the events at the nightclub, but which aspect?
"What bothers you most?" Kame taps Jin's knee to make him look up and pay attention. "That you got kissed by a guy, that you got kissed by a guy and you don't know if he thought you were male or female...or that you kissed him back?"
It's the last one; Kame can tell by the way Jin's breath hitches and he holds himself still as a statue, waiting for Kame to restore him to life.
"It doesn't have to mean anything." They're playing Kame's game now, and Jin doesn't know the rules. "It wasn't the sort of experiment I thought you were going to try in America, but it happens to lots of people, Jin. They get curious, they try it out and see what happens, if they like it."
"How did you..." Jin's voice is tight, locked down just as much as his body. "The first time you..."
It's not a particularly pleasant memory for Kame, but he does his best to recall it for Jin's sake. "It was...it was hard for me to meet people. I couldn't talk to anyone, because I didn't know who to trust and I knew it had to remain a secret. I thought about going to places I'd heard about but I was terrified I'd be recognised, that everyone would find out. I didn't know then that no one tells - at least, not unless you annoy the wrong person.
"I had all these feelings I didn't know what to do with, for people who could never know, and I didn't have the faintest idea what to do with them. I'd been with girls but guys..." Kame shrugs. "I could guess, but I didn't have any opportunity to find out for myself.
"Then I started spending time with Koizumi Kyoko. She had all these male friends and I began to get to know some of the ones around my age. We'd see each other at the same parties, or frequent the same restaurants. There was this one model, a couple of years older than me, and he knew I loved baseball."
"That's an understatement," Jin says, and Kame smiles to himself. Some parts are less excruciating to remember than others.
"He had a spare ticket to a Giants game, said his friend had cancelled on him and asked if I wanted to go. He seemed friendly, and he had all these great stories about watching games in America, so I figured he'd be decent enough company. It wasn't like we were going to talk much during the game anyway."
"Did you like him?"
"Not in the way you're asking. He was attractive, funny, sweet and all that, but that was the extent of it. We had fun at the game and we were both really pumped up; it went okay." Kame sips his water. "We were starved afterwards so we went out to grab a bite to eat, and that's when things got weird."
"Weird? What were you eating, magic mushrooms?"
Kame pretends to look shocked but spoils it by laughing. "Ramen. We went out for ramen, okay? I don't think it contained any illegal substances.
"It got weird because when I asked about all the time he'd spent in the US, he explained that his ex-boyfriend was American. He said it casually, like it was no big deal, and I just froze up because it was the first indication he'd given me that he liked men - and I think the first time I'd heard anyone say it out straight like that."
"America's different," is all Jin says. Kame hasn't spent enough time there yet to find out for himself just how different it is now that he's all grown up.
"I...I think he was testing the waters, letting me know like that. When we left, he asked if I wanted to get together again, maybe go out for dinner or something - as a date. I said yes."
"I thought you weren't interested in him?" Jin says curiously. "Why'd you agree?"
"Because I thought it was somewhere to start. With someone safe, someone I liked as a person, at least, and he was obviously interested in me. I thought if I didn't try, I'd never know if my feelings were real or not."
Jin's eyes widen and his lips purse in a silent "O". Kame hopes this means he understands why Kame's been urging him to explore the unfamiliar sides of himself.
"Does that make any sense to you?"
"Yeah." Jin nods. "I guess. But I feel sort of bad for the other guy too."
"I thought maybe something would develop if we spent more time together." Kame's good at telling himself lies, sometimes. Lies like, "I've already had lunch today" or "Shuuji to Akira won't hurt KAT-TUN". It's been a long time since he's had to do that, fortunately. "I don't know what he expected from me, but I don't think he got it."
"Good," Jin says, and Kame's amused by the satisfaction in his voice. Jin's odd flashes of jealousy have caused him no end of trouble over the years but they're one of the reasons he's never given up hope.
"I told you earlier - without feelings, it won't go anywhere. Not really. I broke it off after a few weeks, told him he was a nice guy but it just wasn't working out between us and he knew that too."
"Did you kiss him?"
"Yeah; I think that's how he figured out we had zero chemistry."
"And?"
Kame's a trifled unnerved by the intensity of Jin's stare as he demands details. "And it was okay. Nervewracking, but okay. After we'd been at it a couple of minutes I realised I wasn't going to have any world-rocking experiences and that it wouldn't be fair to give him the wrong idea. The evening fizzled out of its own accord."
"I was expecting a happier story," Jin confesses.
"I have some happier stories, but you asked me about the first time I kissed a guy and I told you." Kame smirks, briefly. "And I don't think you want to hear about what comes after that."
Jin surprises him by saying, "And if I do?"
"I am not about to give you a lesson on the ins and out of gay sex." Kame winces, realising he's made a Junno-level pun. "If you're curious, go look on-line. I'm sure you'll find plenty of information."
He's not sure if Jin's actually curious, or just trying to embarrass him. Jin's never been able to shed the habit of sticking his nose where it doesn't belong, asking questions with the innocent curiosity of a child whether it's real or feigned.
"Already did and got traumatised by the first website I looked at," Jin says with a shudder.
Kame pats him on the shoulder, offering mock-sympathy. "There, there. Why were you even looking? Was your American DJ a good enough kisser to make you change your mind?"
He's joking but Jin answers him seriously. "No, but I sort of wondered what might've happened if I'd gone with him. If he'd have been surprised."
"Probably not - not about your gender, anyway. Even in America you'd make a tall girl, and face and ankles aside, your body's not particularly feminine. I'd say he knew you were male." As an afterthought, Kame adds, "Your English does sound kind of girly, though."
Jin promptly challenges him to a Mario Kart tournament, being the most masculine thing either of them can think of that doesn't require moving from the couch, and they spend the rest of the afternoon trying to outdo each other on the tracks. They switch drivers a lot; Kame notes Jin plays with every character except the princess.
-----
Since they no longer work together Kame didn't anticipate ever doing photoshoots with Jin again, so it takes him by surprise when Freecell want to do a spread with them both. They've appeared in the magazine before, of course, but never quite like this.
"Either the magazine's sales are flagging and they need a boost, or the members of Kanjani8 put them up to this," Kame says when he runs into Jin on his way into the studio.
"I just know they're going to make us do something embarrassing." Jin pulls the bill of his baseball cap down over his eyes. "If they make us roll around in a bed promise me you'll join me in a walk-out."
"I don't think they can make us do that anymore - not unless there's a girl involved, and I'm not sure threesomes are the kind of thing they want to promote."
It's a strange morning. They're given bad coffee to drink while the photographer, a cheerful little man named Yamano, explains his vision.
"I was inspired by Akanishi-kun's beautiful butterfly brooch," he says; Kame's heart sinks as he pictures the two of them done up with wings and antennae. "He's been wearing more jewellery lately and I thought he'd make a marvellous jewel thief.
"And who better to catch Akanishi-kun's devious jewel thief than the hardworking detective, Kamenashi-kun?"
"That's not so bad, I guess," Jin says grudgingly. "But I'd be a terrible thief if I wore all the stuff I stole in public."
"That's not the point," Kame says. "And I'm too kindhearted to arrest you, but that's not the point either."
Yamano claps his hands together with joy, thrilled that the two of them aren't putting up a fight. "And no real police officer could afford to dress in the suits we're about to put you in - also not the point. Have you finished your coffee yet?"
Kame's barely touched his; it's not worthy of the name. "I'm done."
Jin takes a final sip and pulls a face. "Same."
"No faces like that," Yamano says, wagging a finger at him. "Imagine you're a glamorous thief who delights in outwitting the authorities."
Kame contemplates Jin's baggy jeans, pale yellow T-shirt and the pink, black and white baseball cap jammed down over his messy ponytail. "I think he's going to have to change clothes first."
-----
There's a storyline to the shoot, Yamano explains, taking them from crime to capture and beyond, though he doesn't elaborate on what that might be. Kame hopes it doesn't involve handcuffs or Jin's liable to kick up a fuss.
The first photo in the story involves Kame watching from behind a pillar as Jin steals a necklace from a glass display case. Kame wonders why his detective wouldn't simply arrest the thief then and there, but the photographer assures him there's a good reason and he'll see when they get to the end.
Kame's tie alone costs a small fortune; he doesn't even want to think about the price of the suit but he has to admit it looks good, the charcoal lending him gravity without making him look like he's going to a funeral, and the fake gun he's holding helps. He tries to think about all the police dramas and movies he's watched over the years to achieve the right facial expression, a mix of fierce intent and triumph with a hint of outrage at the crime being committed.
Unfortunately, Jin keeps making him laugh by deliberately screwing up the theft, so the off-shots end up being more interesting than the real thing.
Jin's not really dressed to play a successful thief, anyway. Not only would he catch the eye of anyone who so much as passed by, but his outfit doesn't lend itself to sneaking around. He's wearing jeans of the same shade as Kame's suit and a beaded cream sweater with tiny bows around the neckline. A couple of clip-ons augment his three piercings, some of them as long as the earrings Ueda likes to wear, and he's decked out in enough bracelets and necklaces to start his own store. A bejewelled butterfly clips back some of his hair in a high ponytail while the rest splays across the sweater.
"I feel ridiculous." He takes his hair down when they're done. "I look more like a socialite than a hardened criminal."
Kame giggles and removes his tie with exquisite care, not daring to damage it. "Maybe this is how you avoid jail, by charming everyone who tries to arrest you."
That's not a bad guess, as it turns out, because the second scene has Kame's detective pass up yet another chance to capture Jin's thief. This time they're on opposite sides of a screen, so they can't see each other, and Yamano says the background will be added later. They're on the phone to each other, the idea being that Jin, in keeping with the playful nature of his character, has obtained the cell phone number of his "nemesis" and is calling to taunt him with tantalising hints about his next crime.
Kame's suit is pinstriped, which he hopes will make him look taller. He needs all the advantage he can get, though, because Jin's thief is so confident, he's making this phone call in his purple silk pyjamas.
Since they can't see each other the shoot is more straightforward, but Jin's still not happy that Yamano won't let him use his own phone for the picture. He gets handed a stylish pink, white and black Cecil McBee phone, dripping with charms. Apparently being a successful jewel thief doesn't require you to move quietly.
Protests about the phone pale in comparison to Jin's opinion on the next photo which, as Kame feared, involves handcuffs.
"I'm not wearing those things." Jin holds his arms open wide so his hands can't possibly be cuffed. "No way."
"Think of them as chunky bracelets?" Yamano suggests. "I've got the key right here - you can hold onto it yourself if you don't trust me not to lose it. And they're fur-lined, look! They won't hurt at all."
Fur lining or not, Kame knows how it's going to end. Jin hates being restrained, which is why his one and only encounter with Tickling Guan Yin had to be reshot with Ueda instead - after the restraints had been repaired.
"Not a chance." Jin holds firm.
Yamano's smile fades under his glare, and eventually he gives in. "Very well. We will simply have to try an alternative pose."
They leave him to ponder on it while they change into the next set of outfits. Kame trades in his suit jacket for a black leather coat and gloves far too warm for the weather; Jin exchanges his silk pyjamas for black trousers and a turquoise blouse that slides halfway down his shoulders and just barely covers his midriff. Kame looks askance at the outfit, which clearly didn't come from the men's section, and Yamano doesn't help when he suggests pinning up Jin's hair. There's something a little off about this shoot.
They go outside to make use of an exterior wall. It's still warm; Kame starts to melt in his coat.
"Since Akanishi-kun refuses to use the handcuffs," Yamano shoots Jin a baleful look, "Kamenashi-kun will hold his wrists instead. The detective has caught the thief and has him pinned to the wall, about to take him in."
Kame's not sure the agency will let them get away with that, but it can't be helped - all they can do is play along. "I'll try not to squish your nose into the brick," he says to Jin.
"Other way around, please," Yamano says. "The readers want to see your faces."
Jin scowls. "They won't want to see mine; it'll be bright red."
"Just go with it," Kame murmurs. "I think I see what he's leading up to."
Jin obeys but it's a struggle for him to keep still when his back's to the wall and Kame's leaning in close, hands holding his wrists together over his head. Kame's trying to keep their bodies separate as much as he can, to give Jin some breathing space, but he has to stretch to maintain his grip and it feels like he's constantly about to overbalance. They're both half-turned to the camera but keeping an eye on each other and he doesn't think Jin's faking his expression of discomfort.
It's uncomfortable for Kame too, but for different reasons, or so he has to assume. Jin looks beautiful and defiant and somewhat apprehensive at the thought of being dragged off to the police station, and Kame has to force himself to keep calm. They're not touching skin-to-skin, thanks to the gloves, and that helps a little bit. They haven't done anything like this for the camera in years.
Yamano's phone makes them all jump, and while he excuses himself to answer the call Kame and Jin take the opportunity to rest their arms.
"Okay?" Kame asks, stepping back so Jin can stop flattening himself against the wall.
"The bricks are digging into my back and I'm going to kill our chirpy little photographer. Other than that, great."
"Kill him and you won't get a choice about the handcuffs."
"I should use the handcuffs on him and throw away the key." Jin scratches his neck and curses when he accidentally dislodges a hairpin. "I don't want to know where this storyline of his is going. I wouldn't last five minutes in a prison looking like this."
Privately, Kame's of the opinion Jin wouldn't last five minutes in a prison no matter how he's dressed, but he doesn't feel inclined to wind him up any further. "It can't be too outrageous or he'd never be able to use the photos. He seems to be a big fan of your new image, though."
"I knew I should've stuck with the hoodies."
Yamano's apologetic when he returns, though only about the interruption, and they resume their poses. Kame tries to keep his distance but the photographer has other ideas.
"Get right up in his face like you mean it," he urges. "Try to imagine this is the man you've been chasing for months, who's evaded your grasp at every turn and taunted you by sending you souvenirs from his crimes. Now you've finally got him where you want him!"
"Wouldn't I want him in jail, not pinned to a wall?"
"Just go with it, Kamenashi-kun!"
Kame mutters an apology before leaning forward, giving Jin his best Odagiri Ryuu glare, designed to quell the rebellious spirit of even the toughest delinquent - and Yabuki Hayato was never the toughest delinquent, no matter what he thought. Jin breathes in, eyes enormous, and slumps back till he doesn't even appear to be struggling anymore. They lose themselves in each other until Yamano tells them they're done, and that's when Jin declares he's off to the nearest Starbucks and nobody better get in his way.
A couple of minutes later, Kame gets a call from him to find out everyone else's drink orders. Even the annoyingly cheery photographer gets one.
When Jin returns, he and Kame park themselves in a corner to drink their overpriced coffee and speculate on what the remaining segments of the story might be.
"Maybe you escape?" Kame suggests. "We should tell him we've got a lot of practice stagefighting."
"I probably end up behind bars." Jin shoots a glare across the room at Yamano's back. "I'll be the most expensively dressed jailbird ever."
"Better that than being executed."
"But then I could come back as a ghost and haunt you for the rest of your career."
The image brings a grin to Kame's face. "You'd scare yourself."
After the coffee break they get ready for the penultimate photograph: an interrogation scene. Jin's thief lounges cockily on a chair, long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, while Kame's detective circles to ask him questions, growing steadily infuriated by the lack of cooperation he receives. This one's not so bad, really. They have room to breathe, at least, and even if the lamplight directed at Jin makes him blink, he looks much more comfortable.
He's all in white, a declaration of innocence if ever there was one. White jeans, white leather ankle boots, white tank top and short-sleeved white cardigan with butterfly buttons. Kame's all in black, his shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows and his tie abandoned on the table like he's preparing to beat some answers out of his smirking detainee.
"I'll never talk," Jin says after Yamano announces he's satisfied.
Kame makes a grab for Jin's collarbones. "You will if I do this!"
The camera flashes several times. Kame hopes the shot of Jin sliding off the chair makes it into the magazine.
Finally, they make it to the last of the photographer's planned scenes, and it's one that baffles them both at first.
"If I went to all this trouble to arrest him, why am I letting him go?"
"Because you like him," Yamano says, and Kame's heart stops. "This whole chase has been one long flirtation between the two of you. He calls you up and drops hints about where he'll strike next, and he sends you stolen trinkets that he thinks you'll like, and you track him down because you're fierce and determined and very, very frustrated. You watch from afar, sometimes, because he's at his best when he's working, but you want to know what he's like in real life too and that's why you finally arrested him."
"What the hell went down during that interrogation?" Jin bursts out.
"You, probably," Kame says. "On me."
Yamano beams. "I read in an interview before that Kamenashi-kun wanted to do a 'Boys Love' drama. What do you think?"
"About sports!"
"We could've done the forbidden romance between a baseball player and a soccer player, but I don't think the magazine would've gone for it. If I'd told you at the beginning, you wouldn't have either, would you?"
Now that Yamano's explained the concept behind the shoot Kame finds he kind of likes the idea, even if it is a little too close to the truth for comfort. But they've done couple-themed shoots in the past, the two of them, and when the agency thought it was spilling over into real life they stopped. They're adults now, and anything in that line looks a lot more serious than two giggling teenage boys holding hands.
He's pretty certain he knows what Jin's response will be, but when he checks, Jin's talking down to the floor, trying to make sense of things.
"Why didn't he tell me? All those phone calls, couldn't he have just said he liked me?"
"You were making him work for it," Yamano says. "So he didn't want to make it easy for you either."
The level of tension in the studio is high enough to boil Kame's blood and Jin's looking hot under the collar himself. The photographer, unwittingly or otherwise, is intruding too far into reality. Things might work out for the jewel thief and the detective, in time, if they can overcome that pesky detail about being on opposite sides of the law. For the real Kamenashi Kazuya and Akanishi Jin, however, with their complicated and battle-scarred history, the chances are minimal at best.
Even so, they're improving every day.
Jin's still reluctant, over in his corner, so Kame motions to Yamano to give them a minute.
"We've come this far; we might as well finish it off properly."
"Kame, my mother has already announced her intention to buy this issue. The moment she sees those photos, she'll be expecting us to send her a wedding invitation!"
Kame rolls his eyes. "It's fanservice. Everyone knows that. Your friends will give you stick about it for a day and then they'll move on. It's work, Jin. You're a professional, remember?"
"Not that kind of professional."
"I don't care what you're not; what you are is working, so you're going to get changed and stop sulking. You're an actor too; get into character."
Jin takes a deep breath. "Right. Acting. I can do that."
"You are a cocky trickster of a jewel thief who likes to play around and drive that poor beleaguered detective to distraction. Getting arrested is the best thing that ever happened to you because the police can't make anything stick and you can walk out of there a free man unless I say so."
"You'll say so." Jin smirks, getting into the part. "You couldn't lock me up if you tried."
Kame decides to get into character too. "Just remember I'm the one with the handcuffs."
Yamano's delighted by their sudden compliance. "Speaking of handcuffs, boys..."
Despite the reappearance of the handcuffs, the final photo doesn't turn out too badly. The cuffs stay on the table, abandoned with Kame's fake gun and tie and Jin's little cardigan. Thief and detective cast aside their old lives and black and white values to live together in shades of grey, or so Yamano says.
Kame's looking casual now, black jeans and a white skull-print t-shirt to display all the muscle he's acquired in the pursuit of home runs, accentuated by a red armband. Jin's still in the white tank top but now he has red trousers to go with it, and Kame's black suit jacket is draped over his shoulders. Yamano has them walking away from the table, turning their backs on whatever happened in that room to walk out the door together with hope in their eyes.
They're not holding hands but it's a near thing, and Kame can see Yamano's eyes light up when their fingers brush. He doesn't ask them to do it, though, and Kame doesn't think he will.
Even Jin manages to look happy with it, surprising Kame when he sidles closer, pressing them together on their way out the door. He can't smile like that when he's not comfortable; it might be relief because the ordeal is almost over but at least it's genuine and Kame finds himself relaxing too, enough to throw his arm around Jin's shoulders when the camera finally stops flashing. Jin responds by sliding his own arm around Kame's waist.
"One more time!" Yamano cries, and the final photo ends up being the two of them with matching dorky grins, making peace signs with their free hands. It's a shame it won't be published.
"You changed your tune," Kame says when they're on their way back to their respective cars. "Did the idea of being 'Phantom Thief Aquaneesha' appeal to you after all?"
"It's not without its charms..." Jin gives him a lopsided grin laden with mischief. "But we were in it together, so at least if I look like an idiot, you do too."
"We looked fantastic," Kame says airily. "That's what they're paying us for."
"We looked like we were on the verge of eloping."
"That too." They reach Kame's car first and he fishes out his keys. "But it won't be a novelty for long. Another one of your friends will do a nude shoot for AnAn and then we'll be old news."
Jin shudders. "As long as the next one's not you. You've got enough photographers leering after you when you're fully clothed! Today's was bad enough."
"I think he liked you better, personally. You got to be a very glamorous jewel thief. It's not something you get to do anymore, right? Not when you're only in photos by yourself."
"Right." Jin sounds a touch wistful. "I'd forgotten how much fun it can be with someone else there."
It's one of the many things they don't talk about, but Kame works up the nerve to say, "Do you miss it?"
Jin nods, turning away to find his own car keys. It's not his fault things worked out the way they did but they're all still dealing with the consequences over a year later, finding little things they miss about being a group of six.
He's not going to say anything, so Kame does. "I missed it too - working with you. Even if you can be hopelessly stubborn and uncooperative sometimes."
He receives a blindingly bright smile in return, making him wonder if that's what Jin's been waiting to hear - that he's been missed. As a group of five, KAT-TUN have been so focussed on presenting a united front and making the best of things, showing only their smiles and determination to the fans, that they've scarcely spared a word for Jin. It's what the agency wants, for the fans to get used to the idea that they're a five-man group now and will be till the end of time, but maybe it's been making Jin feel like they never really needed him at all.
That's not true, and it never has been, but Kame's not sure how to get his point across without making Jin feel guilty. In true KAT-TUN style, maybe, with a little gentle mocking.
"Yeah," he continues. "We need another tall guy in the group to balance out the photos properly. I'm thinking of recruiting Aiba to be our new 'A'."
"Like you'd ever be able to persuade an Arashi member to defect. I think they all wither and die if one of them leaves."
"Not like us, huh?" Kame says. "We're all tough enough to take it."
"No wilting flowers in KAT-TUN," Jin says. "Past or present."
"No, but..." Kame gives him a sidelong glance. "If you find you're a little droopy, come get watered in our garden for a while and we'll soon have you blooming again."
"Are you trying to tell me to come out drinking with you guys more often or making a pass at me?"
Kame doesn't reply, merely smiles and unlocks his car, content to hear Jin's laughter even through the closed door. The answer is both, but not today.
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Pairing: Slight hints of Kame/Jin
Rating: PG
Genre: Kind of AU
Word count: 7,890
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit
Summary: Jin returns from the US with a couple more piercings and a story to tell, Kame's got a story he'd rather forget, and a photographer wants them both to star in a story that hits a little too close to home.
A/N: This is a sequel to Be Your Own Secret Girlfriend and Even Butterflies Dress For Dinner and will make no sense at all if you haven't read those two first.
First Times and Curious Crimes
Koki doesn't expect to hear much from Jin while he's touring in America. They exchange the occasional email but mostly, Jin sends a message to either Kame or Nakamaru and expects them to pass it around if there's any real news - not that there's much. Once he sends a picture of himself with the Statue of Liberty; Nakamaru responds with a picture of Jin as the Statue of Liberty.
That's why the last thing Koki expects to see is an email from Jin asking if they can talk on Skype. He's in California right now; because of the time difference Koki grudgingly agrees to sacrifice part of his precious day off so that Jin doesn't have to be up at the crack of dawn. It's lunchtime in Japan when they meet on-line. Koki settles down in front of his laptop with a bowl of gyudon, assuming that Jin will be late as always.
He's actually on time for once; Koki doesn't make it through more than a mouthful of lunch before he pops up. The connection's not great and neither's the webcam, but it's clear enough to see Jin's looking well, slightly more tanned than before and missing the dark rings under his eyes that usually mean he's exhausted and stressed out.
Jin spies the bowl immediately. "Send me some of your lunch?"
"Get your own," Koki says. "You can't tell me there are no decent Japanese restaurants in the entire state."
"It's not the same."
"You didn't ask me to meet you just because you're homesick for Japanese food, did you? Because there are websites for that."
"It's not that." Jin licks his lips nervously. "Um...I wanted to ask you something. It's kind of personal."
Koki picks up another mouthful of beef with his chopsticks and chews it slowly, deliberately keeping Jin waiting. It's kind of fun to watch him squirm. Eventually he says, "Try me."
"Kame said you...uh...you'd dated someone...like me?"
So that's what this is about. Koki doesn't even remember mentioning it to Kame, but maybe he read it in a tabloid. After all, that's how Koki found out about it himself.
"Not so much dated as 'hung out at cabaret clubs and slept with a few times'," he says. "And I wouldn't say she was much like you. I didn't even know she used to be male till I read about it on-line."
"You slept with her and you didn't know?" Jin clearly doesn't believe him at all. "Then what did you-"
"No details," Koki rushes to interrupt him. "I don't kiss and tell."
"Oh yes you do," Jin says. "Otherwise, explain 'Make U Wet'."
Koki smirks. "I would've thought the guy who wrote 'Lovejuice' would know all about it, but I guess I can give you a quick lesson. You see, Jin, when girls get turned on-"
"I know what happens!" Jin's tan is looking a little pink now. "I'm not asking you what you got up to in bed. But she didn't tell you, right? And you really didn't know?"
"She'd had surgery." Koki realises he's fiddling with his chopsticks and sets them down before he gets food all over his keyboard. "There wasn't anything to tell me she'd ever been anything but a girl. I only found out afterwards."
"And...did it matter?"
"It was over by then. We had fun but it wasn't really going anywhere, and we sort of dropped out of contact. It's not like I can do anything about the past."
"Would you if you could? Did you mind that she was actually a guy?"
"That's my point, Jin - she wasn't a guy." Koki thinks finishing lunch might have to wait. Jin's giving him a headache. "She identified completely as a girl, had the change registered legally and everything. But you're not like that, unless America's changed your mind."
"It hasn't," Jin says firmly. "I'm not interested in having anything cut off."
"Then I don't see how this relates to you. No one's likely to mistake you for a girl - not for long, anyway, and definitely not once the clothes come off. Anyone who dates you can see exactly what they're getting."
"But not all of what they're getting," Jin says, and Koki mentally kicks himself for misunderstanding.
"I didn't feel betrayed, or anything like that," he says slowly, trying to replay the memories in his mind. "Just surprised. I guess she didn't tell me because she didn't think there was anything to tell. She wasn't hiding anything from me."
Jin's face falls. "And I'd always be hiding something."
"Are you seeing someone right now?" Koki wants to tease him about blonde American girls but doesn't have the heart, not when Jin's so obviously unsure of himself.
"No; I haven't for ages. I still don't know what to say."
"Be upfront about it," Koki advises. "If it's worrying you enough that you feel you have to tell them, you should do it before things get too serious. Don't drive yourself crazy worrying about keeping secrets. It's better to be embarrassed than hurt, right?"
They've suffered any number of embarrassments in the name of work and that makes Jin smile. "Definitely."
Koki can tell there's something else, something he's not saying, but it's no use to pry. He'd much rather see Jin smiling and relaxed than fretting over a problem for which there's no identifiable solution. Going solo has done interesting things for him, most of them good, but Koki still worries about him being out there by himself, no matter how supportive his crew are. Jin's always been the one they've had to watch over the most, and that hasn't changed just because they're no longer working together.
The conversation ends on a happy note when Sakura jumps up on the table to investigate the gyudon and Jin suddenly gets a faceful of dog on the webcam.
-----
There's TV coverage of Jin's American tour, of course. Kame watches the news in the morning, Japanese voices interspersed with clips of English songs, and sees Jin shine like the star he is.
It's not Kame's job to fetch stars from the airport so when Jin returns home, it's a few days before their paths cross. News reports won't tell Kame how things went in America - not the things that count, anyway - but the butterfly brooch looks good on the big screen, pinned to Jin's jacket, as bright as his smile.
The effects of jet-lag are still evident as Jin stands yawning outside Kame's front door. That's not the only thing that's plain to see. A pair of brand new gold studs wink from his earlobes.
"You got your ears done again!" Kame steps back so Jin can let himself in.
"By a professional, this time. It's a miracle we didn't all land up in hospital before!"
"It could've been worse," Kame says, recalling the time he, Jin and Yamapi decided to pierce each other's ears. "We could've tried tattoos."
"If we had, we probably wouldn't be here today," Jin says, deadpan. "And KAT-TUN would just be T-TUN."
"In which case we could give up all hope of anyone ever pronouncing it correctly."
Jin laughs and drops down on the couch, crossing his legs on the cushion and leaning back against the arm. Kame does the same at the other end so they can talk to each other without having to turn. Despite the air conditioning it's still warm, making them too lazy to want to move much. Kame wouldn't even bother with clothes if not for the fact that he doesn't usually answer the door in his underwear. Not that he and Jin have anything the other hasn't seen. They've shared too many rooms for that.
"The earrings look nice," he says. "How long till you can change them?"
"Another three weeks. I figure if I wear two in one and one in the other, it won't look too weird?"
"Having multiple earrings seems to work for Koki," Kame says. "You're not going to get your tongue done as well, are you?"
Jin looks horrified. "It was bad enough getting my ears done. You know how I feel about pain, Kame."
"Point taken."
They all have to put themselves through a certain amount of pain for work, and sometimes it leaves its mark forever. Kame knows Jin's waist still bothers him sometimes, and Junno's knee will never be quite the same.
Right now, however, Jin appears to be pain-free, comfortable in his faded denim cut-offs and black-and-white shirt, completely chilled out. Performing's good for him, for all that he gets so nervous every time he steps on the stage. Kame understands only too well the high that comes from doing what you love. That they get paid to do it is an added bonus.
"So, other than the ears, how did things go?" Kame has to clear his throat before he speaks again and decides a drink is required. He grabs a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and hands one to Jin as he sits back down. "The shows looked like fun on the news."
Jin's smile is equal parts nostalgia and glee. "I want to do it all again. I love performing in Japan, too, but Japanese audiences don't move much and I want everyone to dance! They do in America. And if I stop singing for a minute they fill in the gaps. The feeling is completely different."
His eyes are starry and Kame grins. "You sound like you're in love."
Jin's always been in love with the West, with America in particular. Tying him down to one country would just be cruel. It suits him best to be a citizen of the world, taking his international party as far as it will go, and as long as he remembers to come home to Japan sometimes, Kame's content with that.
"I am - a little bit," Jin admits. "But it makes me happy."
"I can see that." Kame raises his bottle to tap against Jin's, the plastic clacking rather than clinking as they drink a toast.
Jin tells him about getting recognised in New York and signing autographs for a couple of girls who'd flown in from Florida, about stumbling over his Japanese even more than usual after spending so long speaking nothing but English, about the show in San Francisco where a brief power surge left him singing 'A Page' acappella and without a microphone.
"The crowd loved it - they practically sang the whole thing for me."
"Good thing it didn't happen during 'Paparats'," Kame says.
It's nice listening to Jin talk so animatedly about it all. Sometimes it feels like if Jin's happy, the whole world's happy - at least, it does to Kame.
What Jin doesn't mention is whether or not he made good on his intention to experiment a little while in America, and there's no tactful way to ask him about it. However, as skilled as Kame has grown at charming people, he's still basically the same blunt, tactless boy he was half a lifetime ago, and he and Jin both find it easier to deal with people who speak their minds honestly.
So he comes right out with it and asks, "Did you dress up and go out at all while you were there?"
"Not much. We were all together most of the time so I didn't want to do anything...overt. And it was really hot, so I just dressed casual. I did go out by myself one night, though."
"And?"
"I just went to a club where I knew none of my friends would be. Had a few drinks, danced for a while, nothing exciting."
Kame would leave it at that except that Jin looks nervous, which means something did happen and it'll take a crowbar to get it out of him.
"I think we have different definitions of 'exciting'. What were you wearing?"
"Nothing outrageous." Jin scratches his neck; Kame notices his nails are suspiciously shiny. Clear nail polish, maybe. "Black cotton trousers, these sandals, that white shirt with the sparkly purple hearts."
"Hair?"
"Down."
"Make-up?"
Jin nods. "I must've checked myself in the mirror half a dozen times before I left my hotel room. I don't think I looked...bad?"
"I'm sure you looked fine." Kame's trying to sound reassuring, to encourage Jin to tell him the rest of it, but it seems to have a discomforting effect. He reaches out and gives Jin's shoulder a quick, gentle squeeze. "Hey. whatever it is, tell me. I promise not to laugh even if you ended up dancing on the tables in your underwear."
"I didn't drink that much," Jin says. "And isn't that more your area of expertise?"
Kame really wishes he could remember as much as everyone else seems to about his twenty-fifth birthday party. "Let's leave me out of it, shall we?"
Jin does. "It was pretty dark in there - the lights were weird, so it was hard to see people's faces. I got talking with a couple of girls at the bar, and then we started dancing together, and maybe that's why..."
"That's why...?"
"Why this guy bought me a drink."
Kame has to press his lips together to keep his promise not to laugh. He knows full well Jin's been bought drinks by strange men before - it happens to all of them at industry parties. But those are usually men interested in persuading them to do some work, to lend their names and faces to sell products.
Jin's glaring at him now. Kame gulps down the laughter and schools his features into solemnity. "Maybe he was just being friendly to the poor lonely foreigner?"
"It was a little more than that."
Intriguing. "Did you talk to him?"
"For a while. He said he was a DJ; we talked about music, mostly. And when we weren't talking we danced."
Kame blinks. "I thought your days of dancing with men were left behind with Shounen Club."
"It's not like we were waltzing or anything. Everyone danced in groups, it was that kind of place. He wasn't bad." There's a smug note in Jin's voice suggesting that the end of his sentence is actually, "but not as good as me."
"And how many drinks did you let him buy you?"
"I don't...I don't know. Too many." Kame doesn't like the sound of this, and Jin's looking anywhere except into his eyes. "He drank a lot too. He must've done, or he wouldn't have kissed me."
Jealousy flares somewhere deep in Kame's chest and he suppresses it, because that's the last thing Jin needs to hear right now. This one hits a little too close to home.
"Most people wouldn't need to be drunk to kiss you," he says quietly.
Jin either misses the implications entirely or chooses to ignore them. "Well, this one was."
Kame struggles to keep his voice casual. "Did you kiss him back?"
"Umm..." Jin's tan helps to conceal his blush but can't hide it entirely. "I...uh..."
"You did."
"A little bit." Jin holds his thumb and forefinger a centimentre apart. "I haven't kissed anyone in ages, Kame. It felt good and I went with it, that's all. I told you we'd both been drinking."
Kame sighs. "You drank enough to make out with some strange guy in a club. I told you to be careful, Jin."
"We weren't-" Jin stops, thinks about it and tries again. "It didn't last long. When he broke it off long enough to suggest we go somewhere else, I realised what I was doing, mumbled something about having a boyfriend and ran out. I didn't stop till I got back to my hotel. I tried to wash it off - all of it."
Not again. Kame finds himself looking at Jin's bare arms for any signs of abrasion but sees none. "Did you-" he begins, and Jin realises instantly what he's asking.
"No." He rubs his hands lightly over his arms, grimacing. "I didn't have anything. And the hot water didn't get much above lukewarm. I'm trying...I'm trying not to feel like that anymore. I know it doesn't help. But...but sometimes I still want to make it all go away and just be the person I thought I was going to be."
"The person you turned out to be is better," Kame says, meaning every word. He tries an encouraging smile. "Because he's grown so much."
"It doesn't feel like I've grown at all, sometimes." Jin draws his legs up in front of him, resting his chin on his knees and locking his hands around his ankles. "Whenever I think I'm getting somewhere I go and do something stupid and knock myself back like that."
Kame tries to make light of it. "So you ended up kissing a man in a club. It's not a big deal."
"Maybe not for you - you like men!"
"Yes," Kame conceded, "but that doesn't mean I like all men any more than you like all women. You kissed someone you don't have any feelings for. Doesn't matter about their gender - if you don't have any kind of feelings for them, it can't go anywhere. You did the right thing by leaving."
His words appear to be falling on deaf ears. Jin buries his head in his knees, hiding his eyes under his hair, his relaxed mood quite gone. Kame's not sure why, though. Jin's clearly not happy about the events at the nightclub, but which aspect?
"What bothers you most?" Kame taps Jin's knee to make him look up and pay attention. "That you got kissed by a guy, that you got kissed by a guy and you don't know if he thought you were male or female...or that you kissed him back?"
It's the last one; Kame can tell by the way Jin's breath hitches and he holds himself still as a statue, waiting for Kame to restore him to life.
"It doesn't have to mean anything." They're playing Kame's game now, and Jin doesn't know the rules. "It wasn't the sort of experiment I thought you were going to try in America, but it happens to lots of people, Jin. They get curious, they try it out and see what happens, if they like it."
"How did you..." Jin's voice is tight, locked down just as much as his body. "The first time you..."
It's not a particularly pleasant memory for Kame, but he does his best to recall it for Jin's sake. "It was...it was hard for me to meet people. I couldn't talk to anyone, because I didn't know who to trust and I knew it had to remain a secret. I thought about going to places I'd heard about but I was terrified I'd be recognised, that everyone would find out. I didn't know then that no one tells - at least, not unless you annoy the wrong person.
"I had all these feelings I didn't know what to do with, for people who could never know, and I didn't have the faintest idea what to do with them. I'd been with girls but guys..." Kame shrugs. "I could guess, but I didn't have any opportunity to find out for myself.
"Then I started spending time with Koizumi Kyoko. She had all these male friends and I began to get to know some of the ones around my age. We'd see each other at the same parties, or frequent the same restaurants. There was this one model, a couple of years older than me, and he knew I loved baseball."
"That's an understatement," Jin says, and Kame smiles to himself. Some parts are less excruciating to remember than others.
"He had a spare ticket to a Giants game, said his friend had cancelled on him and asked if I wanted to go. He seemed friendly, and he had all these great stories about watching games in America, so I figured he'd be decent enough company. It wasn't like we were going to talk much during the game anyway."
"Did you like him?"
"Not in the way you're asking. He was attractive, funny, sweet and all that, but that was the extent of it. We had fun at the game and we were both really pumped up; it went okay." Kame sips his water. "We were starved afterwards so we went out to grab a bite to eat, and that's when things got weird."
"Weird? What were you eating, magic mushrooms?"
Kame pretends to look shocked but spoils it by laughing. "Ramen. We went out for ramen, okay? I don't think it contained any illegal substances.
"It got weird because when I asked about all the time he'd spent in the US, he explained that his ex-boyfriend was American. He said it casually, like it was no big deal, and I just froze up because it was the first indication he'd given me that he liked men - and I think the first time I'd heard anyone say it out straight like that."
"America's different," is all Jin says. Kame hasn't spent enough time there yet to find out for himself just how different it is now that he's all grown up.
"I...I think he was testing the waters, letting me know like that. When we left, he asked if I wanted to get together again, maybe go out for dinner or something - as a date. I said yes."
"I thought you weren't interested in him?" Jin says curiously. "Why'd you agree?"
"Because I thought it was somewhere to start. With someone safe, someone I liked as a person, at least, and he was obviously interested in me. I thought if I didn't try, I'd never know if my feelings were real or not."
Jin's eyes widen and his lips purse in a silent "O". Kame hopes this means he understands why Kame's been urging him to explore the unfamiliar sides of himself.
"Does that make any sense to you?"
"Yeah." Jin nods. "I guess. But I feel sort of bad for the other guy too."
"I thought maybe something would develop if we spent more time together." Kame's good at telling himself lies, sometimes. Lies like, "I've already had lunch today" or "Shuuji to Akira won't hurt KAT-TUN". It's been a long time since he's had to do that, fortunately. "I don't know what he expected from me, but I don't think he got it."
"Good," Jin says, and Kame's amused by the satisfaction in his voice. Jin's odd flashes of jealousy have caused him no end of trouble over the years but they're one of the reasons he's never given up hope.
"I told you earlier - without feelings, it won't go anywhere. Not really. I broke it off after a few weeks, told him he was a nice guy but it just wasn't working out between us and he knew that too."
"Did you kiss him?"
"Yeah; I think that's how he figured out we had zero chemistry."
"And?"
Kame's a trifled unnerved by the intensity of Jin's stare as he demands details. "And it was okay. Nervewracking, but okay. After we'd been at it a couple of minutes I realised I wasn't going to have any world-rocking experiences and that it wouldn't be fair to give him the wrong idea. The evening fizzled out of its own accord."
"I was expecting a happier story," Jin confesses.
"I have some happier stories, but you asked me about the first time I kissed a guy and I told you." Kame smirks, briefly. "And I don't think you want to hear about what comes after that."
Jin surprises him by saying, "And if I do?"
"I am not about to give you a lesson on the ins and out of gay sex." Kame winces, realising he's made a Junno-level pun. "If you're curious, go look on-line. I'm sure you'll find plenty of information."
He's not sure if Jin's actually curious, or just trying to embarrass him. Jin's never been able to shed the habit of sticking his nose where it doesn't belong, asking questions with the innocent curiosity of a child whether it's real or feigned.
"Already did and got traumatised by the first website I looked at," Jin says with a shudder.
Kame pats him on the shoulder, offering mock-sympathy. "There, there. Why were you even looking? Was your American DJ a good enough kisser to make you change your mind?"
He's joking but Jin answers him seriously. "No, but I sort of wondered what might've happened if I'd gone with him. If he'd have been surprised."
"Probably not - not about your gender, anyway. Even in America you'd make a tall girl, and face and ankles aside, your body's not particularly feminine. I'd say he knew you were male." As an afterthought, Kame adds, "Your English does sound kind of girly, though."
Jin promptly challenges him to a Mario Kart tournament, being the most masculine thing either of them can think of that doesn't require moving from the couch, and they spend the rest of the afternoon trying to outdo each other on the tracks. They switch drivers a lot; Kame notes Jin plays with every character except the princess.
-----
Since they no longer work together Kame didn't anticipate ever doing photoshoots with Jin again, so it takes him by surprise when Freecell want to do a spread with them both. They've appeared in the magazine before, of course, but never quite like this.
"Either the magazine's sales are flagging and they need a boost, or the members of Kanjani8 put them up to this," Kame says when he runs into Jin on his way into the studio.
"I just know they're going to make us do something embarrassing." Jin pulls the bill of his baseball cap down over his eyes. "If they make us roll around in a bed promise me you'll join me in a walk-out."
"I don't think they can make us do that anymore - not unless there's a girl involved, and I'm not sure threesomes are the kind of thing they want to promote."
It's a strange morning. They're given bad coffee to drink while the photographer, a cheerful little man named Yamano, explains his vision.
"I was inspired by Akanishi-kun's beautiful butterfly brooch," he says; Kame's heart sinks as he pictures the two of them done up with wings and antennae. "He's been wearing more jewellery lately and I thought he'd make a marvellous jewel thief.
"And who better to catch Akanishi-kun's devious jewel thief than the hardworking detective, Kamenashi-kun?"
"That's not so bad, I guess," Jin says grudgingly. "But I'd be a terrible thief if I wore all the stuff I stole in public."
"That's not the point," Kame says. "And I'm too kindhearted to arrest you, but that's not the point either."
Yamano claps his hands together with joy, thrilled that the two of them aren't putting up a fight. "And no real police officer could afford to dress in the suits we're about to put you in - also not the point. Have you finished your coffee yet?"
Kame's barely touched his; it's not worthy of the name. "I'm done."
Jin takes a final sip and pulls a face. "Same."
"No faces like that," Yamano says, wagging a finger at him. "Imagine you're a glamorous thief who delights in outwitting the authorities."
Kame contemplates Jin's baggy jeans, pale yellow T-shirt and the pink, black and white baseball cap jammed down over his messy ponytail. "I think he's going to have to change clothes first."
-----
There's a storyline to the shoot, Yamano explains, taking them from crime to capture and beyond, though he doesn't elaborate on what that might be. Kame hopes it doesn't involve handcuffs or Jin's liable to kick up a fuss.
The first photo in the story involves Kame watching from behind a pillar as Jin steals a necklace from a glass display case. Kame wonders why his detective wouldn't simply arrest the thief then and there, but the photographer assures him there's a good reason and he'll see when they get to the end.
Kame's tie alone costs a small fortune; he doesn't even want to think about the price of the suit but he has to admit it looks good, the charcoal lending him gravity without making him look like he's going to a funeral, and the fake gun he's holding helps. He tries to think about all the police dramas and movies he's watched over the years to achieve the right facial expression, a mix of fierce intent and triumph with a hint of outrage at the crime being committed.
Unfortunately, Jin keeps making him laugh by deliberately screwing up the theft, so the off-shots end up being more interesting than the real thing.
Jin's not really dressed to play a successful thief, anyway. Not only would he catch the eye of anyone who so much as passed by, but his outfit doesn't lend itself to sneaking around. He's wearing jeans of the same shade as Kame's suit and a beaded cream sweater with tiny bows around the neckline. A couple of clip-ons augment his three piercings, some of them as long as the earrings Ueda likes to wear, and he's decked out in enough bracelets and necklaces to start his own store. A bejewelled butterfly clips back some of his hair in a high ponytail while the rest splays across the sweater.
"I feel ridiculous." He takes his hair down when they're done. "I look more like a socialite than a hardened criminal."
Kame giggles and removes his tie with exquisite care, not daring to damage it. "Maybe this is how you avoid jail, by charming everyone who tries to arrest you."
That's not a bad guess, as it turns out, because the second scene has Kame's detective pass up yet another chance to capture Jin's thief. This time they're on opposite sides of a screen, so they can't see each other, and Yamano says the background will be added later. They're on the phone to each other, the idea being that Jin, in keeping with the playful nature of his character, has obtained the cell phone number of his "nemesis" and is calling to taunt him with tantalising hints about his next crime.
Kame's suit is pinstriped, which he hopes will make him look taller. He needs all the advantage he can get, though, because Jin's thief is so confident, he's making this phone call in his purple silk pyjamas.
Since they can't see each other the shoot is more straightforward, but Jin's still not happy that Yamano won't let him use his own phone for the picture. He gets handed a stylish pink, white and black Cecil McBee phone, dripping with charms. Apparently being a successful jewel thief doesn't require you to move quietly.
Protests about the phone pale in comparison to Jin's opinion on the next photo which, as Kame feared, involves handcuffs.
"I'm not wearing those things." Jin holds his arms open wide so his hands can't possibly be cuffed. "No way."
"Think of them as chunky bracelets?" Yamano suggests. "I've got the key right here - you can hold onto it yourself if you don't trust me not to lose it. And they're fur-lined, look! They won't hurt at all."
Fur lining or not, Kame knows how it's going to end. Jin hates being restrained, which is why his one and only encounter with Tickling Guan Yin had to be reshot with Ueda instead - after the restraints had been repaired.
"Not a chance." Jin holds firm.
Yamano's smile fades under his glare, and eventually he gives in. "Very well. We will simply have to try an alternative pose."
They leave him to ponder on it while they change into the next set of outfits. Kame trades in his suit jacket for a black leather coat and gloves far too warm for the weather; Jin exchanges his silk pyjamas for black trousers and a turquoise blouse that slides halfway down his shoulders and just barely covers his midriff. Kame looks askance at the outfit, which clearly didn't come from the men's section, and Yamano doesn't help when he suggests pinning up Jin's hair. There's something a little off about this shoot.
They go outside to make use of an exterior wall. It's still warm; Kame starts to melt in his coat.
"Since Akanishi-kun refuses to use the handcuffs," Yamano shoots Jin a baleful look, "Kamenashi-kun will hold his wrists instead. The detective has caught the thief and has him pinned to the wall, about to take him in."
Kame's not sure the agency will let them get away with that, but it can't be helped - all they can do is play along. "I'll try not to squish your nose into the brick," he says to Jin.
"Other way around, please," Yamano says. "The readers want to see your faces."
Jin scowls. "They won't want to see mine; it'll be bright red."
"Just go with it," Kame murmurs. "I think I see what he's leading up to."
Jin obeys but it's a struggle for him to keep still when his back's to the wall and Kame's leaning in close, hands holding his wrists together over his head. Kame's trying to keep their bodies separate as much as he can, to give Jin some breathing space, but he has to stretch to maintain his grip and it feels like he's constantly about to overbalance. They're both half-turned to the camera but keeping an eye on each other and he doesn't think Jin's faking his expression of discomfort.
It's uncomfortable for Kame too, but for different reasons, or so he has to assume. Jin looks beautiful and defiant and somewhat apprehensive at the thought of being dragged off to the police station, and Kame has to force himself to keep calm. They're not touching skin-to-skin, thanks to the gloves, and that helps a little bit. They haven't done anything like this for the camera in years.
Yamano's phone makes them all jump, and while he excuses himself to answer the call Kame and Jin take the opportunity to rest their arms.
"Okay?" Kame asks, stepping back so Jin can stop flattening himself against the wall.
"The bricks are digging into my back and I'm going to kill our chirpy little photographer. Other than that, great."
"Kill him and you won't get a choice about the handcuffs."
"I should use the handcuffs on him and throw away the key." Jin scratches his neck and curses when he accidentally dislodges a hairpin. "I don't want to know where this storyline of his is going. I wouldn't last five minutes in a prison looking like this."
Privately, Kame's of the opinion Jin wouldn't last five minutes in a prison no matter how he's dressed, but he doesn't feel inclined to wind him up any further. "It can't be too outrageous or he'd never be able to use the photos. He seems to be a big fan of your new image, though."
"I knew I should've stuck with the hoodies."
Yamano's apologetic when he returns, though only about the interruption, and they resume their poses. Kame tries to keep his distance but the photographer has other ideas.
"Get right up in his face like you mean it," he urges. "Try to imagine this is the man you've been chasing for months, who's evaded your grasp at every turn and taunted you by sending you souvenirs from his crimes. Now you've finally got him where you want him!"
"Wouldn't I want him in jail, not pinned to a wall?"
"Just go with it, Kamenashi-kun!"
Kame mutters an apology before leaning forward, giving Jin his best Odagiri Ryuu glare, designed to quell the rebellious spirit of even the toughest delinquent - and Yabuki Hayato was never the toughest delinquent, no matter what he thought. Jin breathes in, eyes enormous, and slumps back till he doesn't even appear to be struggling anymore. They lose themselves in each other until Yamano tells them they're done, and that's when Jin declares he's off to the nearest Starbucks and nobody better get in his way.
A couple of minutes later, Kame gets a call from him to find out everyone else's drink orders. Even the annoyingly cheery photographer gets one.
When Jin returns, he and Kame park themselves in a corner to drink their overpriced coffee and speculate on what the remaining segments of the story might be.
"Maybe you escape?" Kame suggests. "We should tell him we've got a lot of practice stagefighting."
"I probably end up behind bars." Jin shoots a glare across the room at Yamano's back. "I'll be the most expensively dressed jailbird ever."
"Better that than being executed."
"But then I could come back as a ghost and haunt you for the rest of your career."
The image brings a grin to Kame's face. "You'd scare yourself."
After the coffee break they get ready for the penultimate photograph: an interrogation scene. Jin's thief lounges cockily on a chair, long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, while Kame's detective circles to ask him questions, growing steadily infuriated by the lack of cooperation he receives. This one's not so bad, really. They have room to breathe, at least, and even if the lamplight directed at Jin makes him blink, he looks much more comfortable.
He's all in white, a declaration of innocence if ever there was one. White jeans, white leather ankle boots, white tank top and short-sleeved white cardigan with butterfly buttons. Kame's all in black, his shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows and his tie abandoned on the table like he's preparing to beat some answers out of his smirking detainee.
"I'll never talk," Jin says after Yamano announces he's satisfied.
Kame makes a grab for Jin's collarbones. "You will if I do this!"
The camera flashes several times. Kame hopes the shot of Jin sliding off the chair makes it into the magazine.
Finally, they make it to the last of the photographer's planned scenes, and it's one that baffles them both at first.
"If I went to all this trouble to arrest him, why am I letting him go?"
"Because you like him," Yamano says, and Kame's heart stops. "This whole chase has been one long flirtation between the two of you. He calls you up and drops hints about where he'll strike next, and he sends you stolen trinkets that he thinks you'll like, and you track him down because you're fierce and determined and very, very frustrated. You watch from afar, sometimes, because he's at his best when he's working, but you want to know what he's like in real life too and that's why you finally arrested him."
"What the hell went down during that interrogation?" Jin bursts out.
"You, probably," Kame says. "On me."
Yamano beams. "I read in an interview before that Kamenashi-kun wanted to do a 'Boys Love' drama. What do you think?"
"About sports!"
"We could've done the forbidden romance between a baseball player and a soccer player, but I don't think the magazine would've gone for it. If I'd told you at the beginning, you wouldn't have either, would you?"
Now that Yamano's explained the concept behind the shoot Kame finds he kind of likes the idea, even if it is a little too close to the truth for comfort. But they've done couple-themed shoots in the past, the two of them, and when the agency thought it was spilling over into real life they stopped. They're adults now, and anything in that line looks a lot more serious than two giggling teenage boys holding hands.
He's pretty certain he knows what Jin's response will be, but when he checks, Jin's talking down to the floor, trying to make sense of things.
"Why didn't he tell me? All those phone calls, couldn't he have just said he liked me?"
"You were making him work for it," Yamano says. "So he didn't want to make it easy for you either."
The level of tension in the studio is high enough to boil Kame's blood and Jin's looking hot under the collar himself. The photographer, unwittingly or otherwise, is intruding too far into reality. Things might work out for the jewel thief and the detective, in time, if they can overcome that pesky detail about being on opposite sides of the law. For the real Kamenashi Kazuya and Akanishi Jin, however, with their complicated and battle-scarred history, the chances are minimal at best.
Even so, they're improving every day.
Jin's still reluctant, over in his corner, so Kame motions to Yamano to give them a minute.
"We've come this far; we might as well finish it off properly."
"Kame, my mother has already announced her intention to buy this issue. The moment she sees those photos, she'll be expecting us to send her a wedding invitation!"
Kame rolls his eyes. "It's fanservice. Everyone knows that. Your friends will give you stick about it for a day and then they'll move on. It's work, Jin. You're a professional, remember?"
"Not that kind of professional."
"I don't care what you're not; what you are is working, so you're going to get changed and stop sulking. You're an actor too; get into character."
Jin takes a deep breath. "Right. Acting. I can do that."
"You are a cocky trickster of a jewel thief who likes to play around and drive that poor beleaguered detective to distraction. Getting arrested is the best thing that ever happened to you because the police can't make anything stick and you can walk out of there a free man unless I say so."
"You'll say so." Jin smirks, getting into the part. "You couldn't lock me up if you tried."
Kame decides to get into character too. "Just remember I'm the one with the handcuffs."
Yamano's delighted by their sudden compliance. "Speaking of handcuffs, boys..."
Despite the reappearance of the handcuffs, the final photo doesn't turn out too badly. The cuffs stay on the table, abandoned with Kame's fake gun and tie and Jin's little cardigan. Thief and detective cast aside their old lives and black and white values to live together in shades of grey, or so Yamano says.
Kame's looking casual now, black jeans and a white skull-print t-shirt to display all the muscle he's acquired in the pursuit of home runs, accentuated by a red armband. Jin's still in the white tank top but now he has red trousers to go with it, and Kame's black suit jacket is draped over his shoulders. Yamano has them walking away from the table, turning their backs on whatever happened in that room to walk out the door together with hope in their eyes.
They're not holding hands but it's a near thing, and Kame can see Yamano's eyes light up when their fingers brush. He doesn't ask them to do it, though, and Kame doesn't think he will.
Even Jin manages to look happy with it, surprising Kame when he sidles closer, pressing them together on their way out the door. He can't smile like that when he's not comfortable; it might be relief because the ordeal is almost over but at least it's genuine and Kame finds himself relaxing too, enough to throw his arm around Jin's shoulders when the camera finally stops flashing. Jin responds by sliding his own arm around Kame's waist.
"One more time!" Yamano cries, and the final photo ends up being the two of them with matching dorky grins, making peace signs with their free hands. It's a shame it won't be published.
"You changed your tune," Kame says when they're on their way back to their respective cars. "Did the idea of being 'Phantom Thief Aquaneesha' appeal to you after all?"
"It's not without its charms..." Jin gives him a lopsided grin laden with mischief. "But we were in it together, so at least if I look like an idiot, you do too."
"We looked fantastic," Kame says airily. "That's what they're paying us for."
"We looked like we were on the verge of eloping."
"That too." They reach Kame's car first and he fishes out his keys. "But it won't be a novelty for long. Another one of your friends will do a nude shoot for AnAn and then we'll be old news."
Jin shudders. "As long as the next one's not you. You've got enough photographers leering after you when you're fully clothed! Today's was bad enough."
"I think he liked you better, personally. You got to be a very glamorous jewel thief. It's not something you get to do anymore, right? Not when you're only in photos by yourself."
"Right." Jin sounds a touch wistful. "I'd forgotten how much fun it can be with someone else there."
It's one of the many things they don't talk about, but Kame works up the nerve to say, "Do you miss it?"
Jin nods, turning away to find his own car keys. It's not his fault things worked out the way they did but they're all still dealing with the consequences over a year later, finding little things they miss about being a group of six.
He's not going to say anything, so Kame does. "I missed it too - working with you. Even if you can be hopelessly stubborn and uncooperative sometimes."
He receives a blindingly bright smile in return, making him wonder if that's what Jin's been waiting to hear - that he's been missed. As a group of five, KAT-TUN have been so focussed on presenting a united front and making the best of things, showing only their smiles and determination to the fans, that they've scarcely spared a word for Jin. It's what the agency wants, for the fans to get used to the idea that they're a five-man group now and will be till the end of time, but maybe it's been making Jin feel like they never really needed him at all.
That's not true, and it never has been, but Kame's not sure how to get his point across without making Jin feel guilty. In true KAT-TUN style, maybe, with a little gentle mocking.
"Yeah," he continues. "We need another tall guy in the group to balance out the photos properly. I'm thinking of recruiting Aiba to be our new 'A'."
"Like you'd ever be able to persuade an Arashi member to defect. I think they all wither and die if one of them leaves."
"Not like us, huh?" Kame says. "We're all tough enough to take it."
"No wilting flowers in KAT-TUN," Jin says. "Past or present."
"No, but..." Kame gives him a sidelong glance. "If you find you're a little droopy, come get watered in our garden for a while and we'll soon have you blooming again."
"Are you trying to tell me to come out drinking with you guys more often or making a pass at me?"
Kame doesn't reply, merely smiles and unlocks his car, content to hear Jin's laughter even through the closed door. The answer is both, but not today.