nothing from my past matters anymore except a small collection of memories from various spring days; your past is becoming your present. [circa june 07 ( Read more... )

im losing track of days already, writing emails reminds me of the summer where every day i sent an email that said ( Read more... )

Sometimes I watch love story and I just think, wait really? I messed up by trying not to and 180 letters can change so much. I'm bad at poker, I can't tell your tells. mistakemistakemistakemistakemistake and for some reason i care for no reason at all. in my dream last night, canada was only an hour away by car and i picked up the boy (l.s.y.) for ( Read more... )

i like bright colors, lines and symmetry ( Read more... )

Politeness and revenge get mixed up. Which do you offer me now, is this self serving or serving me? i worry that i actually think in riddles, i worry that you dont. hug me; hold me closer tiny dancer; request suffocation as one begs the superior to take control. take responsibility for me. what is a genuine sorry and what marks genuine confusion, ( Read more... )

Sufficient to say I'm freaking out. today i learned that I don't feel naseaous I feel naseauted, today I wrote a kick ass scribble for a page and a half and made a good point and it doesn't make me feel good anymore. life has become a constant search for satisfaction and fulfillment and i cant find it. i thought good grades would work or college or ( Read more... )

There are certain things that I can't control that still make me angry, no matter how hard I fight it. I wonder when the moment will be that I realize its really, truly, honestly, okay. I thought it would be a number- after one, two, three, five, six, and now eight [ninee?] failed me, its becoming clear that life has to be measured in something ( Read more... )

pure fury got stuck in the driveway in its rage and you can hear it three stories up two doors back hiding among baby photos. t doesnt really make that much of a dent. unlike my physics and math grades and the lowered self esteem of the girl in class three. the amount my life would be better if i dropped physics can't be measured in anything but ( Read more... )

In college interview #3 for college choice #ex love affair, i was told that its great I've got my life so figured out. I really admire how you know exactly what you want, said a senior with three diamonds in his ears. i want to be a teacher and am majoring in daddy yankee. right.? its great that the true me shines through with such strength. a real ( Read more... )

My grandfather's personalized stationary has a Reagan quote on it. America's best days lie ahead. Red-white-andblue-i-can-see-you-too peaking out from beneath-the-stairs where you hide to say-your-prayers; Congratulations! probably the first and last, lessening the incentive to do what must be done. While we played boggle others drove home in black ( Read more... )