this semester went terribly wrong. i started getting sick right after new years and since then have had more then bad news doctor visits. im scared and not even about surgery but about my health for the rest of my life. i met sumone who i had this weird connection too but not in a typical way. he made me nervous and i couldnt be myself around him ( Read more... )

i dont get people all together i have decided. well how am i supposed to feel when the boy, for whatever reason i have liked for way too long tells me he did like me? im trying to ignore it because i know it matters not anymore. he just has no care for me. i dont blame him but hey i am still supposed to be a friend and i dont ask for much. his ( Read more... )

i dont even know how to explain my mood. im exausted but im just way too emotional for my own good. school is going pretty good. i like my classes but then again they just started. i told myself that as of today i really need to loose weight. i dont know why im sick but i am. so i tried eating healthy, eating unhealthy, not eating, over eating, but ( Read more... )

well sunday was more then a confusing night but i guess things never change. i would like to think that maybe people dont use u because they can but i am wrong. they do and then ur left with ur soul full of regrets. well so i wake up monday, kinda feeling a little sick but work 9-4, tuesday i went out with tina till about 5 then at around 7, ( Read more... )

i got into this whole positive mode. i am back in school as of jan 23. i switched majors to hotel management. im excited. work is going so well. only thing i need to do is get myself to loose sum weight. between antibiotics and other medications, i gained weight and im not so happy about that. hopefully ill keep on track and loose the weight ( Read more... )

within the last week i bought 5 cds. every so often i get this craving for new music and it makes me feel this new sense of energy nothing else seams to give me. alexisonfire's cd crisis has gotten under my skin. lyrically its just amazing and with 3 singers on this cd, it makes such a complex but amazing sound. my new years resolution is set and ( Read more... )

this christmas was not at all dissapointing, im just apathetic really. i tried my hardest to get into the whole excitement about christmas to see if maybe i would feel sum sort of feeling but instead it was just another day. i spent most of christmas eve with tina. we went to the friendlys christmas party then went back to my house, finished a ( Read more... )

so today was my first time working at farmingdale. it went well. i worked 2-12 which went so nicely cuz its such a small store. i spent the day on grill which was ok. im actaully going to be a superviser which is sumthing thats just good for resumes. last night i went to some weird club with chris and rachel and it was actaully fun. i enjoyed the ( Read more... )

i never thought myself to be optomistic. i would have liked to have thought myself to be a realist. it seams to be though that i am mistaken. i seam to think the best of people and then feel hurt when i realized maybe people just do not care. within the last year there have been maybe 3 people i felt strongly about who let me down. there was patch ( Read more... )

the summer was full of a lot of ups and downs. i dont regret much from it. i learnt a lot about who i am and who i want to be. since i left friendlys ive been way too bored. im working with my father at a metal shop restoring sculptures for museums and galleries. i think before i go back to school im going to start working at farmingdale friendlys ( Read more... )