So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I have to tell my mind constantly that I am free. That  I am not chained to any sort of emotion. That it's possible, it's still possible to find someone and be so happy and jologs and everything and all that I want love to be and that was not it and that was happiness with a side order of pain. And there is still happiness out there that's free, ( Read more... )

Strange, how feelings, situations and people came to be ( Read more... )

To have someone keep secrets from you, and know it, and play dumb --- is really one of the most excruciating things I have ever experienced. The part of me that wants to know everything is still very much alive and threatening my sanity every single day.

On the plus side, I may now have a hunch on what being in love feels like. 

I confess that I have not been writing in my journal for so long,
I end up typing and typing away in this nifty netbook
so there are stories written in invisible ink
piled on on top of the other, one after another in memory,
my hazy lazy memory,
romantic and glossed over,
made unreal and inaccurate,]
fermenting in the recesses of my mind

And I confess that ( Read more... )

My gift to myself this unfestive Christmas is this unconventional thought:

It's easy to lose yourself to the status quo because it's fun, because it feels normal, because it's comfortable. But keep in mind that you were NEVER meant to get lost in a crowd of people doing and enjoying the same thing.

On this day of your life, Amor Lynn, we believe God wants you to know ... that what you are most afraid of is where your greatest rewards are.
( Read more... )

Aug 6, 2011

"And yes I am bitter because I had this vision of the future in my head, but I found out I could not paint it at all. And even when I tried it came out to be the ugliest picture I have ever seen. And I did not know what to do. I did not know what to do."

When life won't give you lemons, I guess you have to find them yourself. 

I should have really thanked the security guards at the office more profusely. How many times have they turned a blind eye to my slipper-clad feet, my missing office ID, my bulky backpack (I 'steal' the office laptop at times so I can work from home) and most of all, my erratic working times? On most days, I would be at the office by 6:30 in the AM ( Read more... )