"'Laugh and the whole world laughs with you;cry and you cry alone.'"
--John Doran, Red Doran

Hey, if the glass is only ever going to be half empty, eventually we got to start thinking of that as full.

"The squeaky wheel gets the grease."
-Elongated Man, Justice League Unlimted

"It is the easiest thing in the world for a man to look as if he had a great secret in him."
-Ishmael, Moby Dick

"How long should a paper or presentation be? The same as a bikin: long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting." --Professor Mariam

(Well, actually her father, but I don't know the man's name.)

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world. . .but you do have some say in who hurts you."
--John Green, The Fault in Our Stars.

"The older I get, the more everyone can kiss my ass."
  --Refrigerator Magnet I Bought on Campus

"The way out is through the door. Why is it that no one will use this method?"
   --Confucius

"Progress does seem to come so very heavily disguised as chaos." 
    --Joyce Grenfell