The next person to call me gets oral sex.

If one more girl says to me "You use really big words" They get choke slammed. Period.

Me in my formative "fat" years

When it came out on my trip to Detroit with the coven that I was indeed an atheist they attacked me with the vigor of a zealot. Then I busted this on them... It wasn't quite as eloquent as this but here goes ( Read more... )

Nick, make sure Steve-o sees this ( Read more... )

Went to the Joe Louis arena on thurs. to cheer on the NMU hockey team in the CCHA finals. I had to drive a 15 passenger there and back. This dosen't sound so bad does it? Ok, remember that the van was filled with cheerleaders. Imagine the most inane drivel and multiply it by crack. Now add in the inexplicable female urge to nag the driver and ( Read more... )

Today I had a lecture partly on the extinction of the dinosaurs. Well, not exactly just that. It was an interesting mix of theology and science and how they interact to explain extinctions (and more generally, suffering and the inexplicable- why God would put us through suffering or death). But what got my attention the most was the professor's ( Read more... )

Ceiri just farted. It sounded like a dying poodle and smells like what would happen if you vomited a turd.

The below list is designed to be indicative of the type of things into which I would under no circumstances whatsoever insert my genitals, and is in no particular order. It is not by any means a definitive list and should not be construed as such ( Read more... )

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