Comments | npd_family: Why does my independence threaten my mother?

tisha313 in npd_family

Why does my independence threaten my mother?

Dec 19, 2012 02:29

I still live at home and currently I am trying to find a way out. I am in my 20s. My mother is still very abusive. I don't know if its jealousy or some type of personality disorder. She definitely exhibits traits of narcissism ( Read more... )

Comments 10

germanlandis December 19 2012, 19:53:32 UTC

Read this: http://behavioralhealth.typepad.com/markhams_behavioral_healt/borderline_parenting/. Read every word of it. I realize it says borderline and not narcissistic, but you will find the two are very hard to distinguish from one another and have similar traits; it is my belief that untreated, long-lasting BPD eventually morphs into a form of NPD. Read especially the part about the four types of borderline mothers: the Witch, the Queen, the Hermit and the Waif, and decide which ones your mom is. It is far more likely a borderline thing than a true narcissism thing. The cluster B personality traits often overlap each other. (There is a full book this article is based on you should probably get called Understanding the Borderline Mother, but I doubt you could keep that private from your very invasive mom ( ... )

tisha313 December 19 2012, 20:28:18 UTC

Both of my parents are borderline and express their disorder differently ( ... )

eirein December 21 2012, 10:53:25 UTC

She keeps you around because she's deeply mentally unwell, and rips down your soul so you'd stay around with lies, because you're a fine person who she needs to feed on for her lifeblood ( ... )

tisha313 December 19 2012, 20:32:54 UTC

The moment I graduate RN school, I am going to get a minimum wage job and just move out. I am not going to even stay there long enough to take the NCLEX or find a job as a nurse. I literally have to run away from this woman. She is very controlling. If I start working a lot of hours, she tries to control my money. Or threaten me to be responsible for all the bills in the house which makes it even harder for me to break away.

Thread 5

tisha313 December 19 2012, 21:00:36 UTC

After reading the link lakmekapay, my mother fits the profile of the "Witch". It's hard to avoid arguments with her. She will create them. And she is incredibly difficult to deal with ( ... )

can_be_cruel December 20 2012, 01:00:12 UTC

This may be a dumb question, but have you called the cops on her? If she's striking you, that's criminal behavior.

tisha313 December 20 2012, 01:36:52 UTC

That will only make the situation worse. The whole family will turn against me and say it was my fault because I say things to set her off. Which is totally untrue. She's very quarrelsome. Not responding to her irrational arguments warrants her to get angry and want to fight

coldspaghetti December 27 2012, 00:43:04 UTC

It's the thought of losing your attention that scares her.

rot_chan January 20 2013, 16:28:50 UTC

I am so sorry to hear about this terrible situation. First off, I just want to reiterate what you have probably heard before, but what is necessary to say... you are not alone in dealing with this insanity. I feel that so many people have parents like this who are harmful, triggering and have mental/personality issues, but more people just don't talk about it. I feel it's so stigmatized that it's kept secret. I'm one of those people...who wouldn't talk about how screwed up my parents were for so long to others, not even here. But I've learned it's OK to. And I think it's good you reach out here to others about it ( ... )