I wake up in the middle of the night. The Words have found me. And they want to be released; to find corporeal existence in our world; to be given life. And I am their channel. Their portal from whatever universe they might have been born. Because I did not give birth to these words. They were around long before I was born. I am merely the limbo by ( Read more... )

I love the Girl. I love her so much. I love her more than anyone has loved anyone else before. In my heart, I know that. I don't care whether she loves me in return. It's not something I expect from her in exchange for my love; neither is my love an obligation I owe to her for her love. All I'm focused on, is loving her. With all my heart. With all ( Read more... )

I made a decision the other day. Whilst I was swimming. As as I took a deep breath with every six kicks (three per leg) and two arm-strokes (one per arm), my mind was peacefully contemplating. It was like... an active form of meditation. I'd quite forgotten what it was like to swim like that. When I fall into that dream-like state, I can swim ( Read more... )

And all of a sudden, it seems like there's a plan again (hereinafter referred to as the "Plan"). It isn't a rigid plan, and there aren't any fixed short-term timelines, but there is a long-term objective and deadline to meet it. The path to that objective isn't fixed, and for now, it appears that the task before me is to determine which path is the ( Read more... )

Before these words were typed, this screen contained a gibberish of words. I had earlier tried to write an entry, but I had fallen asleep doing so. In the process of falling asleep, my fingers and somehow typed a half-coherent account of an attempt to write this entry. But I've deleted it. Because it was boring. Even my just-before-sleep words are ( Read more... )

I was wearing a T-shirt with Pollock-esque multi-coloured paint-streaks forming the shape of a skull. My painting was of two human figures and a cat in muted colours of purples, blues and greys ( Read more... )

It was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time. In terms of degree, it probably exceeded the emotions I had experienced at any other time ( Read more... )

I feel rusty.
The words come out slowly, painfully.
Thoughts don't flow smoothly to or through my fingers.
Sometimes, I find myself wondering, is my brain still thinking?
Or am I just not listening to myself anymore?
Everything seems so.... conscious, now.
It used to be so much easier.

I feel rusty.

I am so full. I am stuffed. Too much food. *groan* I shouldn't have pigged out so much... but I just had to eat those waffles. They were most yums. And I skipped lunch. And I only had an apple for breakfast. Gragh. I'm just making excuses. Whatever. I pigged out. I shouldn't have. My stomach feels distended. I want to throw up. No one would claim I ( Read more... )

I've been afraid of going to painting class in recent weeks.

It started weeks ago when I started a portrait of the Girl. The thing about portraits, is that you have to get the proportions exactly right. There is no room for "agar-ration" or approximation, unlike paintings of scenery or buildings. Those, you can fix or hide the errors. In a portrait ( Read more... )