Tonight is just like nights five months ago. All passes in heat and I'm beat down by it all.

I've learned slowly that, given enough time, I can ruin anything by being too passionate, and too restless, too reliant on outside things for contentedness. Be still heart, be still.

Check this shit out. Brandon made me a picture of one of the happy railkill kings out of one of my broken records. It looks glorious above my new bed.


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Evolution

Out of the dusk a shadow,
Then a spark;
Out of the cloud a silence,
Then, a lark;
Out of the heart a rapture,
Then, a pain;
Out of the dead, cold ashes,
Life again.

-John Banister Tabb

the music runs sweet and hot,
it is dead and is not
the music rolls night and is lost
at a palpatating point

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3-Loss ( Read more... )

I am sitting at Professor Joe Sullivan's house with Andey and Brandon, at which Andey is staying for several weeks to take care of Professor Sullivan's dogs. I've done nothing all day but talk about love and relationships and things on which you never can place a finger. It really is impossible to balance a stone on a blade of grass. Be still, ( Read more... )

I'm drinking a screwdriver at eight o' clock in the evening. It is sour and thick, but it leaves me feeling warm. There is an uncontrollable melancholy and loneliness in me that doesn't seem to be forced out by reason. Mostly I just want to feel not like I do without a stiff drink. I know this is bad and can't be whitewashed over with cynicism or ( Read more... )

I just finished experiencing my first time being used as nothing but a translator. It was great. My boss had a family of Mexican people come in and start talking to him and he looked like a deer caught in headlights. I think he actually started sweating. I stepped in and translated their Spanish into English for him and his English into Spanish for ( Read more... )

One of my friends said something very insightful about ending relationships today. Just because we aren't with that person doesn't mean we don't still love them. I asked, When does one decide one is "over" the person they love, that it's time to move on, or simply try to keep getting through the days? She said something like, When you no longer ( Read more... )