The Present Tense

Simmering in the illusory
broth of memory-
It is said that this
is the deathtrap
of the poor:
what is called life,
but is no longer living.

Olvidar

Both foreign and familiar,
the formation of lines
haunted by human
sadness.
This damp despair,
opressive, hangs the air
until there is no longer sleep.

I woke up realizing I think I have fully "given up the ghost," for lack of a better way of putting it. Though I will think about it all day at work, and probably later this evening, and though it will fill me with sadness and consume me eventually, there are some decisions to which I must stick and be firm. Andey's new gal pal, Jessie, was right ( Read more... )

summer boredom is grand ( Read more... )

How long will I hide
my face from you
(seeking consolation
in my own soul,
having sorrow in my heart
daily)?
How long will I try for consolation
in the hearts of men?

We shield our faces
with folded fingers,
the shadows of objects.

-November 2004

When I sit down with the aim of sorting out a ceaseless chain of distractions and disappointments, I usually end up realizing that the relationships I formed after my breakup are not the veritable tangle of vines I thought, but only become when I view them as such. At first, I would do anything to distance myself from the feeling of isolation and ( Read more... )

oneiromancy (o-NY-ruh-man-see) noun-

The practice of predicting the future by interpreting dreams.

I actually thought I would make an effort to not be cynical and sarcastic. I feel sorry for the men who get involved with me. I only seem to cause them pain and ungainliness. I am too passionate. Feelings are fleeting. Selah.

I just finished tutoring with Justin for his Spanish test. Sadly enough, the thought of having him for company made me really relieved and almost gleeful because I hate being alone here. Now that he is gone, I have the urge to go ride my bicycle on some deserted country road. On and off, this place is eating me alive. Sometimes I think the new ( Read more... )

When I think about all of the sorrow that could be avoided by simply being aware of one's position in this world, it makes me a little discouraged. What we long for-what I long for-is to find a small piece of eternity in love, a small piece of something that no man, not even we ourselves, can destroy. All of the trial-and-error makes me very tired ( Read more... )

Wow. Two posts in one day. Here's for the stream of consciousness and recollection ( Read more... )

So, yes, I've taken to posting others' poetry instead of my own poetry or rants about the life I lead. I spent the night with Brandon and we drank ourselves silly. We woke up and Evan (his roommate) cooked us breakfast. Then we sat around telling jokes for a good half hour before Evan left. I took a shower while Brandon went to buy the new Harry ( Read more... )